Newsroom: (541) 346-5511
Suite 300, Erb Memorial Union
P.O. Box 3159, Eugene, OR 97403
Email: editor@dailyemeraId.com
Online Edition:
www.dailyemerald.com
Monday, June 9,2003
---——- OregonDaily Emerald
Commentary
Editor in Chief:
Michael J. Kleckner
Managing Editor:
Jessica Richelderfer
Editorial Page Assistant
Salena De La Cruz
A time for heartfelt, loving reflection
Editorial
The year has come to a dose, and the editorial board can now
leisurely stretch out and examine its good work. We thought
about the things we were right about and the things others were
wrong about. These two categories often matched up.
Knowing how right we were, we decided to grace you once
again with our wisdom. For your pleasure then, we present, in
order of importance, the top-10 campus events:
10. Glass blowers
On Feb. 24, federal agents, under the direction of Attorney
General John Ashcroft, raided glass shops across the country in
a hardcore, incredibly effective anti-drug paraphernalia exer
cise dubbed “Operation Pipe Dreams.”
Claiming, essentially, that if a glass pipe can be used to smoke
marijuana, it can only be used to smoke marijuana, the feds hit
the major local glass artists, but for some reason they left The
Briar Shoppe’s wood pipes alone.
Damn, don’t they know? It’s puff, puff, pass — not bust, bust,
glass! Leave it to Ashcroft to fuck up the rotation. You just know
that in college, he was that anal-retentive RA no one liked.
9. Ridnour leaves early
Men’s basketball star Luke Ridnour announced May 13 that
he would sign with an agent and leave the University for the NBA
Draft. Much mourning occurred among segments of the student
population that enjoyed Rid for his athletic prowess or his extra
cute appearance.
And then there was that poster. That amazingly homoerotic
poster. “Luke Both Ways”? As an Emerald alum once said, that
gives “crossover dribble” a whole new meaning.
8. Fall term riot
Caitlyn (on a cell phone): “Hey, Alexis, you have got to get
over here! This is sooo much fun! We’re out in the street by
Skyler’s house, and we’re, like, rioting!!
“Huh? Oh, I don’t know. There was, like, a party or some
thing? And now, we’re taking back the streets! Isn’t this just like
what those hippie people did in Seattle?
“Oh... my... god. That guy pulling the stop sign out of the
ground is sooo hot! Alexis, get over here! ”
7. Free speech issues
An anti-homosexual guest commentary and an anti-abortion
group’s photos brought out a lot of “anti” feelings among seg
ments of the campus population who disagreed with the anti
people’s anti-stances.
We can’t handle the negativity! Here’s the solution: Every
body — and we mean everybody — can shut their traps, and
three times a week, the editorial board will tell you what to think.
There. Problem solved.
6. “0”-logo controversy
First the administration, working through University Presi
dent Dave Frohnmayer and Vice President of something Harry
Battson, said all student groups must proudly carry the “O” on
all printed materials. Students were upset. Then officials said
they would also need to approve the student groups’ own logos.
Students were more upset.
Finally, the administration dropped the whole thing. And we
are proud of that decision. Because frankly, when students think
about their big “O,” it’s unlikely that they have Frohnmayer or
Battson in mind.
5. Conflict over KUGN
Speaking of sticky situations: Radio station KUGN pays the
University money for the right to use its name and image, and to
broadcast Duck sports events.
Given that the station licenses the University’s good reputa
tion, students were upset when they listened to Michael Sav
age’s opinionated diatribes against minorities, gays and anyone
else not exactly like Savage. Students were even more upset
IF I CAM DO IT
ANYONE CAM!
1X1. BELIEVE XT
WHEN I SEE XT
when they heard the radio station repeatedly proclaiming itself
the “Voice of the Ducks.”
One straightforward suggestion was that in contract negotia
tions, the University should disallow the station to use the
tagline “Voice of the Ducks.”
The way the whole thing shook out, though, who knows what
will happen with the contract. Maybe they should just change
the tagline to “Voice of the Schmucks.”
4. Tuition increases
Legislators hoisted this one on students in a big way. They
filled the budget hole last year by including money from a tax in
crease that voters would have to approve in a January election.
Right, and we all know how much voters love tax increases.
So when Measure 28 didn’t pass, budgets were cut and tuition
had to go up, the University imposed a surcharge — but enroll
ment keeps going up. It’s like squeezing juice from... an orange.
Why don’t we just keep the poor people out of education en
tirely? Then they wouldn’t be a burden in elementary school,
they wouldn’t need financial aid in college, and they wouldn’t
stink up the place while we’re waiting in line at The Bon.
3. International student visas
They’ve come to this country as guests, to get an education
from ‘Merica — the finest free nation in the world — and not
only do they have to pay exorbitant tuition, but now we’re sub
jecting them to reams of paperwork, repeated interviews and a
tracking system any bounty hunter would be envious of.
But ‘Mericans are much safer now — after all, those dan
gerous English lit majors from Korea and computer science
majors from Italy now are safely accounted for. That’s giving
them a taste of freedom!
2. War with Iraq
Speaking of freedom, now that the Iraqis have it (and be sure
to sign us up for some of that no-water, no-electricity, total
chaos, soldiers-with-guns kind of freedom!), we can look back at
the war effort with a clear mind.
On campus, students protested. Some protesters were for the
war, but most were against it, and the peace protesters suffered
the usual patriotic name-calling that happens whenever people
disagree with Republicans in power.
The thought-police pressure was so strong that the University
faculty couldn’t even drum up the gumption to meekly announce
that they, um, sort of disagreed with the war, um, because it kind of
sucked money the government needs to, um, run the country.
No, no, that might send the wrong message to students!
Gee whiz, this freedom sure is cool!
1. Get a sense of humor
One thing we have seen time and again on the Commentary
page is that some people just don’t get it. Sarcasm isn’t that hard,
folks. Take another English class or something, and ask your
professor‘bout it.
Yes, social issues are pressing, and yes, cultural controversies
are sometimes serious. But life need not be sober all the time.
Actually, treating life as super-serious is an unattractive person
ality trait. Stop it.
Sure, some people need to learn to sharpen their sarcasm so
it’s more obvious. But learning how to take, as well as give, is a
requirement for entry into the marketplace of ideas.
So lighten up. This is college, after all.
This editorial represents the opinion of the Emerald editorial board.
Good evening, my name’s Mike - I’ll be your waiter tonight
So this is our final issue of the year,
and I’m graduating. Ahh. After six
years, that feels good to say. Some
people might be expecting a real blaz
er of a final column, but I feel more
like a waiter, introducing you to the
meal of the Emerald’s last issue.
The delicately braised tofu (meat
is also available) in this issue is pro
files of top students from each official
school on campus. We have a hearty,
home-cooked side dish about com
mencement, and may I suggest you
start the meal with a few deep-fried
end-of-the-year stories?
Perhaps my favorite part of this is
sue, though, is the sweet, savory and
spicy sauces: the “senior” columns.
It is a time-honored tradition at the
Emerald to allow graduating seniors a
bit of space to reflect on their experi
ence and tell readers about it. Some
of them have a hot bite, others are a
sweet, piquant demi-glace and a few
provide a nutty, savory topping on
the final issue.
The soft,
soppy dessert
(maybe it’s
bread pudding)
is a warm help
ing of thanks.
Thanks to
the campus
community for
being involved,
supportive and
angry with me The editors office
and the paper
this year. Journalism should exist to
serve the community, and the com
munity must get involved.
Read the paper, find out what’s hap
pening in your world, and then get an
gry or happy. Write a letter to the edi
tor, or better yet, call the editor. I know
I have enjoyed those calls this year.
Just remember that we’re learning,
and that the paper and the community
will survive — even if you disagree
with the current staffs approach.
Thanks to this year’s staff members,
of whom I am terribly proud, and
thanks especially to Jess, without
whom I never would have survived.
Thanks also go to the full-time
“adult” staff who work at the Emer
ald. They work tirelessly to teach
journalism students how a newspa
per runs. They do it with skill, pa
tience and smiles, and I will always
love them for it.
And huge bonus thanks to my par
ents, who always offer good advice,
boundless love — and money when
it’s necessary. I’m watching “Every
body Loves Raymond” for you right
now, Mom and Dad.
No dinner would be complete
without a small snifter of something
that makes you feel warm and wise.
So to close, I have just an ounce or
two of things I’ve learned.
I’ve learned that a small, close-knit
community can be wonderfully sup
portive, even of the weirdos and the
freaks (like me) and the others who
give a community character and love
and meaning and fun. Eugene excels
at this, and more communities
should follow its example.
I’ve learned that even if you’re
cocky and obnoxious because you
think you know everything, the old
er, wiser people will generally put up
with you and even help you to turn
that conceit into skills and knowl
edge. The University is really good at
this, actually.
Finally, and perhaps most impor
tantly to me, I’ve learned that no one
has a comer on the truth market.
Nothing is greater than arguing ideas,
taking nothing for granted and believ
ing almost nothing of what you’re told.
Check the facts, question the as
sumptions and fight for your opinion.
The University would have failed if it
hadn’t taught me that.
Peace and Joy,
Mike
Contact the 2002-03 editor in chief
at michaelkleckner@email.com if you
want to talk about something cool, like
Taoism or anarchy. I'm not the editor
anymore, so I probably don't want
to talk shop a whole lot and my
opinions definitely no longer represent
those of the Emerald.