Newsroom: (541) 346-5511
Suite 300, Erb Memorial Union
P.O. Box 3159, Eugene, OR 97403
Email: editor@dailyemerald.com
Online Edition:
www.dailyemerald.com
Thursday, June 5,2003
-Oregon Daily Emerald
Commentary
Editor in Chief:
Michael J. Kleckner
Managing Editor
Jessica Richelderfer
Editorial Page Assistant:
Salena De La Cruz
Reality of suicide
demands support;
help exists at UO
Guest commentary
We are saddened at the loss of two University students
who committed suicide this year. Though we do not know
the details of these particular student’s lives, we want to
provide some information with the potential to help others.
Suicide is, unfortunately, a prevalent problem in the Unit
ed States. According to the National Institute of Mental
Health, suicide was the 11th leading cause of death in the
year 2000, and was the eighth leading cause of death for
males. For young people ages 15-24, it is the third leading
cause of death.
Although some people who commit suicide give signals before
the event, such as prior attempts, making a will, saying goodbye
or giving away treasured possessions, many do not exhibit such
obvious signs. Depression is both highly prevalent and highly
treatable; unfortunately, many people are reluctant to seek treat
ment or to talk about feelings of depression.
When people are depressed, they often feel hopeless and
think their problems are insurmountable and that nothing
will change how they feel. You can help a friend see that
hopelessness is the depression talking; that in fact there are
many steps that do indeed help.
Another common thought among suicidal people'ls that
they are a burden on their friends and family — their con
dition distorts their perception. But while people who are
depressed may think that others would be “better off with
out me,” in fact, the legacy of suicide is a far greater burden
on their loved ones than is their depression.
It is always better to ask someone if you suspect they may
be considering harming themselves, and then to take steps
to ensure their safety. This usually involves disclosing their
suicidality to family or friends or a mental health profes
sional. Ideally, this occurs with their consent; however, even
if a friend entrusts you with such a secret, this trust must
often be betrayed. The logic is, “Better a mad friend than a
dead friend.”
Those who have lost friends or family members to suicide
often experience a range of emotions that can encompass
grief, anger, confusion, loss and depression. They may ben
efit from mental health services. If you suffer from feelings
of depressed mood or thoughts of suicide, or if you need
help coping with the depression or the suicide of someone
close to you, please contact help.
The University Counseling Center is open this summer:
Its number is 346-3227 and it is open from 8 a.m. - 5 p.m.
Monday through Friday. For emergencies, call Whitebird at
687-4000 or the emergency room at Sacred Heart Hospital
at 686-6931.
Rachel Goldsmith and Anne Simons work at the University's
Psychology Clinic.
Tell us what you think of us!
The Emerald is currently conducting a readership
survey to determine who reads the paper, what
parts they read, what they like and don't like, and
what their spending habits are.
We want your input on improving the paper, and
we want to know where you shop so we can
provide the best advertising possible.
We’ve put together an online survey, conducted by
Pulse Research, Inc,, a nationally respected,
independent newspaper research firm in Portland.
Every part of the Emerald — the news, classified
advertising, display advertising, production and
circulation departments — will use the information
gleaned from the survey to do its job better.
To show our gratitude for completing the survey,
we are offering a $ 100 cash prize, a $50 cash prize
and a $25 Campus Cash prize. Winners will be
selected from everyone who completes the survey.
So what are you waiting for? Co to the nearest
computer, point the browser at
www.pulseresearch.com/dailyemerald and take
the survey! It’s secure, private and takes about 10
to 15 minutes. Plus, you could win cash money!
Philanthropy—happily ever after
Gather ‘round, kiddies, Auntie Jessie
has a graduation-time story for you.
Remember Cinderella, that favorite fe
male of fairytales who was fond of the
grunge look and committed to her life of
drudgery until circumstances changed,
and she went from being a nobody to be
ing a somebody, complete with tiara?
As it turns out, hers is an allegory for
the plight of the lowly undergraduate —
yes, even you guys out there ought to
be able to relate.
For years now, you’ve slaved under the
thumb of professors, administrators and
GTFs. You’ve given into their unreasonable
demands on your time, validated their out
rageous beliefs about what constitutes a
sensible workload and cultivated friends
among the ani- _
Jessica
Cole
Hodgkinson
Huh? What? Really?
mals that live in
the frat houses.
Now, it is almost
time to go to the
ball. For you,
there are no glass
slippers, but you
do get an equally impractical, youTl-only
wear-it-once outfit of your very own.
So, what happens after your ball?
There may well be a prince or princess
charming waiting in the wings to sweep
you off to Never-Never Land, but regard
less, it is highly likely your economic cir
cumstances will change for the better.
And that will encourage another
fairytale personage, the Wolf — both
the Big-Bad and the one in sheep’s
clothing — to show up at your door at
tempting to solicit you.
For you see, as soon as you go from mi
crowaved Ramen noodles and generic mac
and cheese to eating food you like, even
when it isn’t on sale, the word on the street
goes out (via alumni mailing lists), and the
requests for money start rolling in.
(It is a little-known fact that after the
wedding, Cinderella’s fairy godmother
presented her with charming little re
quests, complete with envelopes, that
guilted dear Cindy into sharing her good
fortune with other deserving-but-down
trodden chambermaids.)
So, how do you handle these impor
tuning beasts? Axes are passe; woods
men aren’t that easy to find since the
timber industry crashed; and there’s nev
er a well around when you need one. The
advice from Auntie Jessie is simple: Give
‘em what they want... well, mostly.
When it comes to alumni giving, you
will be led to believe that you have sev
eral wonderful options. For example,
there is the athletic fund — you can en
courage talented students to take pride
in being labeled waterfowl for life. You
could also give to the general scholar
ship fund and enable bright students to
study without having to worry about
how to keep the cupboards full of noo
dle products.
There is, however, a real flaw with this
solution. You see, once it’s discovered that
HAVEN'T ”
I Qll/EtJ
„ EKOviGH?/
ru^o
f ALUMNI
DoNWioNS
you’re a pushover, you just find more
wolves at the door. So, here’s what you do:
Go ahead and endow an athletic
scholarship...
...for the athletically challenged. Af
ter all, if ever there was an underfund
ed group, it has to be those folks who
— when faced with the approach of a
spherical object — end up with bro
ken noses, broken bodies or broken
windows.
Or, on the same principle, you could
endow an academic scholarship...
...for the academically challenged.
Of course, there always seem to be a
lot of those folks running around a col
lege campus, so maybe that wouldn’t
be a deterrence.
To push these wolves off, you need to
get creative.
How about explaining that you’re hap
py to give, so long as your money goes to
fund lower trees and softer turf for the
geriatric squirrel population on campus?
Or, what how about a sidewalk defense
fund? Explain that you’re concerned
about the possible erosive effects of chalk
on cement.
Still not convinced? If you really want
to drive the wolves away in droves, offer
to use some of your newfound fiscal sol
vency to empower future undergrads...
...and sponsor a tenured faculty im
peachment fund. Never again will you have
to say, “Please take me off your calling list.”
When word gets out, the underground aca
demic conspiracy will blacklist you so fast,
even the carpet cleaners and photograph
schedulers will keep their distance.
So, my dear Cinderellas and Cinder
fellas, as you head off into your happi
ly-ever-afters, remember Auntie
Jessie’s graduation-time story and give
until it hurts...
...until it hurts the ones who asked
you for money, that is.
Contact the columnist
atjessicacolehodgkinson@dailyemerald.com.
Her opinions do not necessarily represent
those of the Emerald.
Letter to the editor
ASUO should address
campus diversity
As the new ASUO officials take of
fice, I would like to offer a suggestion:
Gan we please get serious and work on
diversity issues here? More specifical
ly, why is there so much damn diversi
ty here?
This place has got way too many dif
ferent ethnic and racial groups for me
to assert my rightful role as a hetero
sexual white male. I can’t tell you how
many classes I have had here where I
have to share my air with women,
blacks, Asians and dear god, gays!
My understanding has always been
that college is supposed to be about
making me feel safe and comfortable
without having to think that there are
different, and therefore obviously infe
rior, people out there. Sadly, I feel that
the University has failed me miserably
up to now.
Therefore I call upon the ASUO —
most of you are straight and white, I
think— to halt this oncoming freight
train of diversity that threatens to run
roughshod over my otherwise glorious
ly homogeneous University.
Some options I would suggest would
be segregated classes, deportations or
just outright banning of students dif
ferent from me based solely on my
discretion. I fear that if we do not act
soon, we may be forced to interact
with these groups rather than fall back
on our time-tested and scientifically
proven stereotypes about each other.
Certainly nobody here wants to envi
sion such a nightmare scenario play
ing out.
So let us then not waste any time in
eradicating the scourge of diversity
from our campus by whatever means
necessary. The details are unimpor
tant, so long as I can once again feel
like I belong and they don’t.
James Squires
____ Eugene