Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012, May 23, 2003, Page 5B, Image 13

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    Some couples share homes
as matter of convenience
Student couples comment about
the benefits and potential pitfalls
of living together without marriage
Tynan DeLong
Freelance Reporter
Cohabitation. The word alone might
send couples into pre-marital paranoia.
Minds race frantically with the idea of
seeing the same face every waking mo
ment. Those accustomed to Texas-sized
space bubbles recoil at the utterance of
“the next step.” Yet, year after year, cou
ples make the decision to live together —
and reportedly 30 to 40 percent of college
students do also, according to a study by
author Roland Johnson, III.
Whether it means a lifetime together or
a nine-month lease that feels like a life
time, this turning point decides the fate
of many young couples. Careful planning
may help couples decide if moving in to
gether is the best idea.
Graduated senior Clay Carter said he
enjoys the benefits of cohabitation.
“You’re in close proximity, and you see
them every night,” Carter said. “As long
as you get along, it’s nice if you have a
busy schedule.”
For some students, it may be a matter
of convenience.
“If it’s an issue of having two houses,
you might as well condense,” said gradu
ated senior Mark Zillmann, who said he
and his girlfriend were always together,
even when they were living apart.
“But, it’s up to the individuals —
whether it suits the relationship or not,”
he added.
Not all students have good experiences
living with their significant others.
Lane Community College junior
William Kistler said his first live-in expe
rience had adverse effects on his own
personal life, and it hampered the rela
tionship’s progress.
“I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was
so naive,” Kistler said. “Moving in togeth
er caused me to suppress the behavior I
enjoyed when I was alone, and conse
quentially, it caused our relationship to
fall apart.”
If the relationship fails, the friendship can
often become a complementary casualty.
Eugene resident Ross Topel, wary of
cohabitation’s pitfalls, said he decided
against the big leap.
“I didn’t do it because one of two things
were going to happen,” Topel said. “One,
I would never hang out with or see her
again because living together often does
that, and two, it would screw up our
friendship.”
Kistler said he had those exact kinds of
problems.
“I got out of the situation the minute
the lease broke,” Kistler said. “I totally
departed from our relationship, and we
didn’t speak for six months.”
Many blame a lack of space as the point
of contention for most live-in relationships.
For those accustomed to living alone, invit
ing another to share the space can lead to
unmanageable circumstances.
“It wears a couple down,” junior Ash
ley Patterson said. “Sharing the same
space all the time doesn’t leave much
room to breathe.”
Topel agreed.
“You need to have your own personal
space,” Topel said. “When you’re living
with someone, that person is invading
your habitat, and it can be disastrous.”
For those living together, however,
finding a balance can be key to a healthy
living situation.
“Each person needs to have their own
space,” said Garter. “It’s easy to get
bogged down when you don’t allow time
to yourself.”
Zillmann has similar sentiment.
“She does her thing, I do mine,” said
Zillmann. “You need to have two different
lives.”
Despite the drawbacks, the number of
couples cohabiting increases each year.
But, some studies also show those who
live together prior to marriage have high
er levels of dissolution in their relation
ships. The study by Johnson claims “only
one couple in five who cohabitate ever
ends up getting married.”
“At all costs, people should avoid living
as a couple until you’re married,” Kistler
said. “I think it’s self-destructive to do
mesticate prematurely and honestly, I
won’t be living with another girl until I get
married. But if you’re going to do it, think
about it first.”
Tynan DeLong is freelance writer
for the Emerald.
Design
continued from page 1B
smell good,” Orak said. “I like to have
solid colors and complementary colors
to tie the room together.”
Students can also get ideas from other
sources and improvise in their decorating.
Television shows, such as “Trading
Spaces” on the Learning Channel, “Crib
Crashers” on MTV or “You’re Invited” on
the Style network, can set off ideas for
their houses and tell them where to shop.
Magazines can also teach people some
tricks of the trade in interior design.
“I like to use magazines for ideas
around the house,” senior Lisa Wanjala
said. “I look for magazines with special
articles on decorating. I really like arti
cles that explain how you can fix some
thing or change something simply by
adding fabrics or coverings to furniture,
for example.”
Natasha Holstine is a freelance writer
for the Emerald.
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