Men & appearance
Men may suffer from self-image issues
The University Men’s Center
can help men with problems
including poor self-image
and boughts of depression
Roman Gokhman
Campus/City Culture Reporter
On any given day, University jun
ior Phil Harms may look into a mir
ror and tell himself he is looking
sharp, only to return five minutes
later and say, “What were you think
ing? You don’t look good today.”
The University Men’s Health
Team conducted a survey in 1999
in which men on campus listed de
pression as the sixth major health
concern they faced. But many, like
Harms, do not like to talk about
their self-image problems.
“(Men) are trained ... not to ex
press their true feelings or emo
tions — that might seem femi
nine,” Harms said. “They are sup
posed to be confident, strong and
self-reliant.”
According to the University
Health Center, while much empha
sis has been placed on dealing with
women’s self-image problems, such
as eating disorders and depression,
the same is not the case for men.
“Men’s depression is down
played,” health center psychologist
Jon Davies said. “Because men hide
it.” Davies said crying is a good way
to let go of grief, but society encour
ages men not to cry.
George Hanawahine, director of
the University Men’s Center, agreed
with Davies. Hanawahine said when
men feel depressed, have relation
ship troubles, suffer from low self-es
teem or problems at work or school,
they are less likely to seek counsel
ing than women.
“The tendency for ... most men
is to try to solve their problems on
their own,” he said, adding that if
they cannot accomplish this, they
often go to a friend or family mem
ber. By the time they go to a coun
selor, “they are in a more severe
situation.”
This repression of feelings lowers
self-esteem and self-image, and peo
ple with little self-confidence — de
spite their appearance — are less so
cial, health center physician Ben
Douglas said.
“Self-image and self-confidence
goes hand-in-hand,” Douglas said.
“The most important thing to do is
... develop some comfort about
yourself.”
Like Harms, University freshman
Aaron Martin said for him, low
self-image is a strong cause
of depression.
“Sometimes everything seems
Turn to Esteem, page 7B
Adam Amato Emerald
Senior staff psychologist Jon A. Davies, Ph.D., counsels men on problems ranging
from depression to relationship problems at the University Counseling Center.
Pretty boys ’ often wear heavy crowns of (excessive) hair gel
It’s time again for our annual
“Vice” issue, and while I don’t
exactly have writing experience in
this area, I have been summoned to
write a story.
To me, the issue seems like a
compilation of off-the-wall topics,
which only serve the purpose of
entertainment. Originally, I was
told to write about pizza addiction.
But since I am lactose intolerant, I
don’t fit the bill. Then, I was asked
to write a story on race car driv
ing, but my own car is from the
late Ronald Reagan era and its
only purpose is getting me where I
want to go.
Finally, last week someone heard
me say, “Shit! I totally forgot to
bring my hair gel today, and I have
to go swimming and then go do in
terviews. That’s no good.” That
sealed my fate in the newsroom.
I now lay myself before the mer
cy of my audience, not as a sports
columnist, but as a self-described
“pretty boy.”
I do own a
credit card ac
count at Struc
ture.
I do wear
Reaction shoes
by Kenneth
Cole.
And I do
spike my hair
with a decent
amount of gel
every morning
before I walk
out the door.
I wanted to find other pretty boys
on the campus, to try and under
stand the image. I came up with ab
solutely nothing.
Even with the Gucci glasses and
Armani sweaters, the guys I tried to
Jesse
Thomas
Go the distance
speak to became overly modest
about their style and refrained from
comment. They appreciated the
compliments but felt their image
would be affected in a negative way
by admitting to the media that they
were, in fact, pretty boys.
I am left with no quotes, no inter
views and no story. But I was given
15 inches of column space to try
and explain the depth of what it is
to be classified as ‘pretty.’ If I missed
you and you classify yourself in this
category, please allow me to apolo
gize. My understanding is that it’s
not about feeling self-conscious or
always needing to look your ab
solute best, but simply taking pride
in your appearance.
People should take pride in how
they present themselves. I am just
not the type of person to walk out
the door in the morning with ta
pered blue jeans, white tennis
, Ilf " ""I
015878
Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention Week
February 23 - March 2
Eliminating eating disorders by promoting positive body image and self esteem
and discouraging unhealthy dieting behaviors.
Find out more at www.nationaIeatingdisorders.org
or contact the UO Health Center's Health Ed program at 3464456
shoes, a tucked-in T-shirt and a rain
coat. I would rather walk out in
black leather shoes, faded jeans, a
fitted shirt and a black wool coat.
For some reason that is beyond
me, my hair is what fascinates my
colleagues the most. In case you are
curious, here goes nothing: I put gel
in it once, then blow dry it, add
more gel for the wet look and finish
it up with a little hair spray for a
permanent hold.
It seems a little over the top,
I agree.
My style also seems to plague
people with the question of sexuali
ty. I had a good friend of mine tell
me once, “you dress too nice to
come across as a straight man.”
But, I must say that I am hetero
sexual — and just because you wear
Abercrombie, Express or Armani
doesn’t mean anything, despite the
classic stereotype that gay men
dress nicer than straight men.
I like to think of my style of dress
as nice-casual but don’t, in fact, like
the term “pretty boy.” However, I
must bring this article to an end be
cause I have to re-gel my hair, as a
strand has just fallen out of place.
Contact the sports reporter
at jessethomas@dailyemerald.com.
His views do not necessarily represent
those of the Emerald.
Casual
continued from page 2B
“I really, honestly thought we
were dating,” she said. “I learned
quick.”
Recalling the numerous Saturday
and Sunday mornings she has seen
girls trudge home in their party
garb, Haley said the walk of shame
is the best indicator of drunken one
night stands.
“You know they’re not just taking
a morning stroll in their five-inch
heeled stilettos,” she said. Accord
ing to the Student Conduct Code,
no consent is given in sexual inter
course if either person is intoxicat
ed in any way. Considering alcohol
lowers inhibitions, Leith said all
sexually active students should ap
ply for the Family Planning Expan
sion Project — or FPEP — to re
ceive state aid for health services
and contraceptives.
Despite the availability of FPEP
services, Leith said one-night stands
are not a healthy pastime due to the
risk factor. “If you need sexual re
lease, masturbate,” she suggested.
Contact the reporter
at caronalarab@dailyemerald.com.
Kleckner
continued from page 2B
ended up feeling betrayed or cheat
ed, or just plain dirty — and not in a
good way.
Once you learn to be honest with
yourself about what you need and
what you can give, fulfillment can
come in all sorts of “casual” encoun
ters. Although, if you’re getting your
needs fulfilled, it’s hard to see how
these relationships can continue to
be called casual. Who says they’re
casual? Are they casual because
they don’t meet society’s pretty but
fictional picture of romantic-sexual
domestic-friendship bliss?
People should reclaim “casual” re
lationships and redefine what they
want and need from others. Of
course, everyone needs to play safe
with casual sex. But we would all be
a lot happier — not if we were in per
fect couplings of being everything to
each other, but if we were honest
about what we needed and were will
ing to assert the personal agency nec
essary to seek out what we wanted.
And you know what? Being hon
est with yourself in just that way is
the only thing that will make the
real thing work — if and when it
ever comes along. Without that hon
esty, you’ll find yourself caught in a
loop of ultimately unfulfilling serial
monogamy, anyway.
So start cultivating some honesty
right now, and don’t be afraid of a lit
tle safe, casual need fulfillment.
Contact the editor in chief
at editor@dailyemerald.com.
His views do not necessarily
represent those of the Emerald.