Pulse Editor: Jacquelyn Lewis jacquelynlewis@dailyemerald.com Tuesday, February 18,2003 Oregon Daily Emerald On Thursday It's queer, it's here: The UO Cultural Forum's Queer Film Festival Stingy boyfriend needs to prioritize, let soulmate fly to personal growth Dear Nat: My boyfriend is so stingy! We always split the bill at dinner, even on special occasions, and he nev er buys gifts for me. Yet he spoils himself rotten! (CDs, DVDs, clothes, books, you name it.) I’m at my wit’s end. Help! — Stuck with a Cheapskate Dear Stuck: Do you like cheap men? No. Is this man cheap? Yes. Can you change him? You can try until you’re blue in the face. Have an ex tra generous friend explain to him that treating a girl friend as if she is less important than a stack of DVDs is not cool. Then sit him down for your own tes timony. Tell him how low you feel knowing you’re in competition with his luxurious collectibles. No re sults? Refer to the questions listed above. Then, remember that love has a return policy: Spoil yourself for a change and exchange your boyfriend for a new model, satisfac tion guaranteed. Dear Nat: My girlfriend of a year is planning to study abroad in Spain for all of next year (our junior year). I’m really freaked. I think she’s my soulmate, and the distance might kill our relationship! What can I do to keep her? Natasha Chilingerian Ask Nat Long Distance Jitters Dear Long Distance: first of all, I think your girl friend has a pretty cool academic plan and very ambi tious career goals. She’s not in school to become a “Mrs.” In other words, walking off a plane into a foreign country is much higher on her to-do list than walking down the aisle in a poufy white dress, which is how it should be! So why is there so much emphasis on commitment and future in your brain? Freaking out could lead you to a year of moping in your bedroom over tear-stained pho tos of your girl, while she’s traipsing around Spain hav ing the time of her life. Is that what you want? I didn’t think so. When her plane departs, have your own time of your life in good old Oregon. Go out with friends. Be gin new hobbies. Take full advantage of the extra time on your hands. I suggest the two of you agree on a dating policy while she’s gone, be it a green light to date others casually or a vow to remain exclusive. But regardless of your choice, if someone better comes along for either of you, so be it. During the college years, twists and turns are al ways around the corner. But remember, if your love for each other is meant to be, nothing, not even time and miles, can tear it apart. Dear Nat: I recently had what I thought would be a date with this cute guy. When we arrived at the restau rant, he took out his Bible and began preaching that I needed to be saved! I’m Christian, just not as fanatical as he is. I was so offended. I see this guy all the time in school — how do I deal with him? — So-called Sinner Dear Sinner: How about bringing a Feng Shui book to class and preaching to him about rearranging his house? Just kidding. But really, your beliefs are yours and his are his. Pressuring someone to change should not be part of the formula for any kind of relationship. I find his actions very rude and intrusive. So what if you have class with this guy? No one’s saying you have to be buddy-buddy with him. Be nice, polite and civil. Re spect his point of view and, hopefully, he will learn to respect yours. Contact the columnist at natashachilingerian@dailyemerald.com. Her views do not necessarily represent those of the Emerald. Send questions to advice@dailyemerald.com. Words of wisdom Poet Maya Angelou comes to McArthur Court Feb. 23 to read poetry and discuss issues such as literacy, race and gender Ryan Bornheimer Senior Pulse Reporter The unmistakable voice. The power ful words. One line of verse uttered from her legendary lips and people listen. This is Maya Angelou. The renowned poet, author and speaker will appear at McArthur Court at 7:30 p.m. Feb. 23. Angelou will read poetry and discuss issues of race, gender and literacy fol lowing a performance by the UO Gospel Ensemble. She will also recite works by famed poet Langston Hughes. This event, produced by the UO Cultural Forum, marks Angelou’s first appearance in Eugene in five years. Angelou spoke at the Hult Center in 1998, but her upcoming performance will be a first for the University. Cultural Forum Performing Arts Co ordinator Windy Borman said the event gives students a unique opportunity to see this internationally celebrated artist and promises to be a thought-provoking evening for everyone. “Her style of speaking is very acces sible to poets and non-poets,” Bor man said. English Professor Karen Ford, who is currently teaching an African American poetry course, said the ap pearance is a chance to see a truly riveting reader. “She recites poems — hers and other poets’ work — from memory, recites them movingly and dramati cally,” Ford said. “I’ve always appre ciated her attention to making other poets visible even during her own readings.” Angelou published her first autobi ography, “I Know Why the Gaged Bird Sings,” in 1970 and became the first black author to hold a record for the longest run on the New York Times Paperback Nonfiction Bestseller list. The book recounted Angelou’s ex Courtesy periences growing up in Arkansas and included reflections on her experi ences with racism as well as the trau ma of being raped at age eight by her Turn to Angelou, page 7 Film exposes toxicity of synthetics Danielle Hickey Emerald Judith Helfand spoke Friday afternoon in Hendricks Hall about the effects past fertility drugs have had on women's bodies. Judith Helfend’s documentary ‘Blue Vinyl’ entices consumers and businesses to stop using toxic products such as PVC Helen Schumacher Pulse Reporter Filmmaker Judith Helfand screened her documentary “Blue Vinyl” at the University last weekend as part of the “My House Is Your House” campaign, a consumer organiz ing and community education effort to increase awareness of vinyl’s toxic implications. The film portrays Helfand’s quest to learn more about the vinyl siding her parents were putting on their home. After she was diagnosed with cervical cancer at 25 — a malady she said was caused by DES, a drug given to her mother while pregnant — Helfand became skeptical of any sub stance containing synthetic chemicals. Helfand discovered the polyvinyl chloride, or PVC, used in vinyl has a toxic life cycle. PVC releases the carcinogen dioxin into the air during manufacturing and burning processes. People who work at the manufacturing plants or live near them are often exposed to unsafe dioxin levels. Directed by Helfand and Daniel B. Gold, “Blue Vinyl” is the winner of several film festival awards including the Ex cellence in Cinematography in a documentary at the Sun dance Film Festival in 2002. HBO also aired the film. University assistant professor at the Center for Ecology Turn to Toxicity, page 7