Love can be experienced without sex
For some students,
abstaining from sex
until marriage helps form
a tight emotional bond
Roman Gokhman
Campus/City Culture Reporter
An old campus legend says
the Pioneer Mother — the stat
ue of a female Oregon Trail pi
oneer next to Gerlinger Hall —
stands up every time a virgin
walks by. While most students
have never seen the Pioneer
Mother leave her chair, they
must all confront the decision
of whether to have sex.
Ramah Leith, a councilor at
the Health Education Program at
the University Health Center,
said that even though it is diffi
cult to determine how many col
lege students have had sexual re
lationships, students are more
likely to be sexually active be
cause of the intimacy a tight
knit community creates.
However, some University stu
dents say love can exist without
sex in today’s world.
University senior Stephanie
Garber and her boyfriend Daniel
Hemmerich have been dating
exclusively for more than a year
and have not had sex.
They said that while some col
lege-age people avoid sex be
cause they fear accidental preg
nancy or disease, their Christian
faith guided their choice.
“(Sex) is a very real and sym
bolic union between a man and a
woman that was designed by God
to reflect the relationship be
tween (God) and the world,”
Hemmerich said. He said sex is a
commitment for a permanent re
lationship — marriage.
Like other couples, Hem
merich and Garber “do all the
normal things,” like seeing con
certs, watching movies, going on
walks together and cuddling.
In a relationship, it is impor
tant to meet challenges, like sex,
up front, the couple said.
“Nobody said it would be easy,
but that’s okay,” Garber said.
“Most things that are good are
not easy.”
Hemmerich added this is
what makes abstinence worth
while.
I-eith said the best way for cou
ples to make choices about their
sexual lives is to talk about it.
“The key is communication
— depending on how commit
ted they are to each other and
how emotionally ready they
are,” she said.
Garber agrees talking about
emotions is important in a
relationship.
“(Sex) is not a subject we shy
away from,” she said.
University students Eric Baker
and Amy Farris, who have also
dated for more than a year and
are now engaged, agree that com
munication is necessary for a re
lationship to work without sex.
“We’re open with each other
— we talk about everything,”
Baker said.
Baker and Farris said they ad
here to a relationship without
sex also because of their Christ
ian faith, and because they owe
it to each other.
“Sometimes it’s hard, but it’s
not that hard when you think
about why you’re doing it,” Far
ris said.
While some students are com
mitted to abstinence, they do
have to deal with peer pressure.
“(Abstinence) is not exactly a
popular thing,” Garber said. “It
... holds this aura that you
should be embarrassed, but I
think that’s dumb. I think there
are a lot more virgins out there
than would like to admit it.”
Contact the reporter at
romangokhman@dailyemeraid.com.
Danielle Hickey Emerald
Couple Daniel Hemmerich and Stephanie Garber, who have been dating for more than a
year, have pledged to each other to be abstinent until marriage.
Singles celebrate freedom, gather with friends
Activities abound for those
who find themselves
dateless on V&lentine^ Day
Athena Eh not
Freelance Reporter
Valentine’s Day is coming up once
again, and for those without a special
someone, it can come without wel
come. Yet not everyone hates being
single. In fact, many single people
take this day as an opportunity to
celebrate their freedom and spend
time with those close to them.
Some students say the single life is
one of fun, freedom and friendship.
Sophomore Meghan Madden, a
double major in political science and
romance languages, said she is single
by choice and doesn’t feel she will be
missing out on Valentine’s Day.
“I don’t have plans yet, but usual
ly I get together with other single
friends, order pizza and watch
chick flicks,” said Madden. She said
she gets lonely at times, but school
is a priority and the attention rela
tionships need can be very time
consuming. Madden said she still
thinks Valentine’s Day is a good hoi
iday because “she likes to see hap
py people.”
James Jacobsen said he feels
the same way about the single life
in college.
“I don’t have to worry about al
ways making someone else hap
py,” he said. “I can dress crappy
everyday, because I don’t have to
impress anyone.”
Jacobsen, a journalism major,
plans to dress up with a friend and
go to a nice dinner at McDonald’s to
celebrate the “Hallmark Holiday.”
These single students said there
are still a lot of rewarding things to
do on Valentine’s Day, even if one
isn’t in a relationship. They suggest
meeting friends for dinner, going to
the movies or finally gathering up
the courage to ask someone they
like out on a date.
Still, not everyone views Valen
tine’s Day as a chance to celebrate.
“I don’t like Valentine’s Day —
when I am single it is like all the
happy couples are rubbing it in my
face,” sophomore Carolyn Rodgers
said. She might not lik§ Valentine’s
Day, but Rodgers said she likes be
ing single because nothing holds
her back and she can do whatever
she wants. Rodgers and her friends
are going to all get together and cel
ebrate being single.
Sophomore Heather Endrizzi
said she also loves being single and
celebrates it every day. She said she
thinks Valentine’s Day is overrated.
“I don’t see why we only cele
brate on Valentine’s Day; we should
just love each other every day.”
Athena Ehnot is a freelance writer
for the Emerald.
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