Newsroom: (541) 346-5511
Room 300, Erb Memorial Union
PO. Box 3159, Eugene, OR 97403
E-mail: editor@dailyemerald.com
Online Edition:
www.dailyemerald.com
Thursdayjune 6,2002
Editor in Chief:
Jessica Blanchard
Managing Editor:
Jeremy Lang
Editorial Editor:
Julie Lauderbaugh
Assistant Editorial Editor:
Jacquelyn Lewis
Editorial
Cheers for gas,
NASA; jeers to
Enquirer, fire
It’s finally here, the list all of our readers have
been waiting for: The editorial board’s final run
down of cheers and jeers for this school year.
Cheers to the Bush Administration — surprise,
surprise — for finally acknowledging humans are at
least partly to blame for global warming. According
to a report issued by the Environmental Protection
Agency, manmade pollutants emitted from oil refin
ing, automobiles and power plants do indeed con
tribute to global warming. Even though this seems
like standard knowledge, the White House has refut
ed this information in the past, claiming there wasn’t
enough scientific information to prove industrial
emissions contributed to global warming from accu
mulation of greenhouse gases. While the EPA report
only contains “voluntary measures” for companies to
control pollutants, the administration deserves a nod
for at least admitting that humans are part of the
problem. As the old adage says, admittance is the
first step to recovery.
Cheers to the National Aeronautics and Space Ad
ministration for getting us excited about the space
program again. The launch of the space shuttle En
deavor after many delays because of engine and
weather problems, coupled with the recent discovery
of huge oceans of underground ice on Mars, bodes
well for space exploration. The discovery has also fu
eled the hope for human visits to Mars, though this
type of endeavor is decades away. We’re excited
about NASA’s progress and future plans.
Jeers to The National Enquirer for its tasteless de
cision to publish photographs of the Columbine
shootings, including images of the bodies of Eric
Harris and Dylan Klebold after they had killed 13
people and themselves at Columbine High School
in 1999. Though tabloids like The Enquirer have
been known for their lurid photographs and sensa
tionalistic reporting style, we think The Enquirer
has gone too far. In this case, “enquiring minds”
would rather not be subjected to gruesome, point
less photographs. Though it is not known who fur
nished the tabloid with the photos, executive editor
David Perel claims they “help illustrate a very sig
nificant news story.” But to the editorial board, it’s
clear that all the publication of the photos helps il
lustrate is The Enquirer’s callousness, lack of taste
and its anything-for-a-buck mentality.
And finally, jeers to the irresponsible students
playing with fireworks inside the residence halls.
Though the damage to the room was minimal, col
lege students should be mature enough to know that
playing with fire is dangerous. Perhaps the discipli
nary action they could now face will remind them of
I that in the future.
.
This editorial represents the opinion of
editorial board Responses can be
ietters@daiiyemeraid,com. Letters to th
commentaries are encouraged. Letters
words and guest commentaries to 550'
include conm information. The
right to edit for space, grammar
l||j|J|f
JKtKSBKKmMi
Steve Baggs Emerald
nightmare
6 £ I ■■ elcome to McDonald’s, may I
Ml take your order?”
■ ■ “Yeah, I’d like a six-piece
McSushi meal, supersized, with the
Wacky Wasabi dipping sauce.”
“Would you like regular fries with
that, kelp tempura, or one of our new
non-fat salt-water enemas?”
“Enema, supersized. Oh yeah, and
I’d like to add a vitamin boost.”
I have a dream. Actually, it’s more of a
recurring night
mare. In it, Ameri
cans have reverted
to riding bikes
everywhere they
go. Rusting heaps of
cars line the high
ways and little furry
animals scamper
freely across the
blacktop fearlessly.
The average diet
consists of seafood,
veggies and rice.
Columnist obesity is a distant
- memory, con
signed by exercise and healthy diet to
the Maury Povich Memorial Archives
in Cleveland.
In this dream, self-satisfied grins are
the dress code du jour, and as I make my
way through an airport terminal, I notice
the lack of national guardsmen. Terror
has been stamped out like an incense
stick when it’s time to leave the house.
Time moves differently in dreams. I
blink my eyes in the airport gift shop,
and I’m landing on a runway in Japan.
Visions of John Zorn album covers
Lindy-hop through my mind as I pre
pare to disembark.
The hatch hisses open and before the
stewardess can say “Thank you for fly
ing the friendly skies,” I’ve bolted.
Up the ramp an d ’round the comer I
run. Urgency spreads through me like
cheap whiskey. I just can’t wait to...
(From dream to nightmare, in half
a second.)
What the hell? What kind of cmel joke
is this? Surrounding me, literally filling
the waiting area are not trim, sparkling
eyed Japanese, but rather fat, angry
Americans, wearing Hooters shirts and
Mickey Mouse ear hats. As they begin to
laugh, I feel a scream violating my Ups.
That’s when the pelting starts. French
fries, ice cream cones, ketchup packets,
jalapeno poppers—and the final insult,
milkshakes not actually made with
milk. I’m drowning in cheap fast food
and though I try to run, my legs simply
pinwheel like a spinning Chinese Pago
da firecracker on the Fourth of July.
And then I wake, my sweat a mixture
of MSG and coconut oil.
“Welcome to McDonald’s, may I take
your order?”
“Coffee, black.”
I come back from my nightmare to
find the television still on. It’s an ad for
Wendy’s. They’re telling me to try one
of their brand new garden-fresh salads.
I find myself wanting to comply.
Instead, I change the channel. Taco
Time has salads too. I change the chan
nel again. Burger King’s bashing me in
the skull with the blunt end of their
new “healthy” Chicken Whopper. And
now, at select locations, the BK Garden
Burger... dear God.
I turn off the television and pick up a
copy of Time magazine, hoping to dis
tract myself from the hunger pangs
gnawing like ravenous ferrets at the ob
sessive-compulsive portion of my brain.
Opening to the table of contents, I’m
immediately struck by the feeling that
my life has turned into a Kafka story.
On page 30 is a story about health
trends in China and India. Evidently, af
ter following our dietary lead, heart dis
ease, obesity and hypertension are all
on the rise. Not only that, but American
cattle farmers are actually having to ship
their product overseas, as U.S. citizens
become increasingly health conscious.
I throw down the magazine and run.
If I run fast enough, I might be able to es
cape the new dream I can feel forming.
But I’m running on a treadmill. Every
thing comes full circle.
America? China? It’s all the same. We
all live in a yellow Big Mac wrapper.
Welcome to McDonald’s, may I take
your order?
E-mail columnist Jacob TenPas
at jacobtenpas@dailyemerald.com. His opinions
do not necessarily reflect those of the Emerald.
Letters to the editor
Middle East occupation
must end for peace
Regarding Friday’s Emerald article
about the excellent Middle East slide
show and presentation by four speak
ers, we were puzzled by the closing
comment, which said the speakers
“shared one common ground: Both
sides must cooperate” (“Vivid slide
show demonstrates hope for Middle
East Peace,” ODE, May 31).
The issue of both sides cooperating
is so clearly obvious that it wasn’t
specifically raised during the confer
ence. Rather, the substantial common
ground among the four speakers and
the concluding message of the event,
was: The occupation must end before
real progress can begin.
Brian Bogart
Madoka Kusakabe
graduate student
Eugene Middle East Peace Group
Reusable plate project
accomplished its goals
I am very disappointed at the inaccu
rate article in the Emerald regarding the
reusable plate project at the Folk Festi
val on May 28.
To set the record straight:
• The reusable plate project was very
successful. Using plates reduced the
waste by 22 percent while recycling/
composting efforts reduced the waste
by 67 percent. More than 75 volunteers
(many students) participated.
• The project was the first of its kind
and a model for other waste-reduced
events around the country.
• The project was proposed by me, a
student, and was supported by Campus
Recycling.
• This was a pilot project that went
off smoothly and got rave reviews.
• The projected was funded to serve
the Folk Festival as a free event and was
never presented or funded to include a
deposit system.
• Though there was some plate loss,
this was built into the funding. The
project is being evaluated for improve
ment for future events. Savings from
using disposables is also funding
replacement of lost plates.
Please help by returning any plates
from the Folk Festival to Campus Recy
cling through campus mail to:
Campus Recycling, 1276 University
of Oregon, Eugene, OR 97403.
Campus Recycling is a program that
is recognized worldwide while provid
ing hands on opportunities for thou
sands of University students. The
reusable plate project was a success. I
hope the Emerald can find space in the
future to celebrate the fiscal responsi
bility and integrity that Campus Recy
cling prides itself on.
Jon Borgida
PPPM student
events coordinator
Campus Recycling'