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TRINGLE
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EMBROIDERY
r
Rumors & lies
University to offer students
luxury classroom seating
In another move to increase
funding, the University announced
Friday it would build luxury boxes
in large lecture halls.
The new plan could bring an extra
$1.2 million to the school each year
to offset budget cuts, officials say.
Construction crews will begin
building the 12 luxury boxes in 100
Willamette, home of many large
lecture classes. Students may buy a
box as a group, or single students
may pay to sit in single seats within
the box. The University has not an
nounced a price, but said seats will
go on sale later this term.
Ticket holders of the boxes will re
ceive free coffee service, a large buf
fet, an executive washroom and their
personal graduate teaching fellow.
The boxes will also include large-for
mat televisions and stereos, video
games and large recliners and sofas.
“We see luxury boxes as a win-win
situation for the 21st century Univer
sity,” spokesman Kyle Lundgrass
said. “Students will get a new, excit
ing learning opportunity, and the Uni
versity will see some extra funds.”
Many students are excited by the
thought of learning in new state of
the art facilities.
“This is the best thing that ever
happened to this place,” said sen
ior Josh Freeman. “This will give
me that extra advantage I need to
get into the real world.”
Lundgrass said that if all goes well
with the boxes in Willamette, other
buildings may also see luxury boxes.
State Board crosses its
fingers on tuition hikes
Members of the State Board of
Higher Education used a little
known Oregon law to back out of
a promise not to raise tuition at
public universities.
The State Board said Friday that
it simply “crossed their fingers be
hind their backs” when pledging it
would not raise tuition for the
2002-03 academic year.
“It was never our intention to
honor such an action,” board
spokeswoman Jennifer Lutz said.
“We were under so much pressure
from student groups. What were we
supposed to do?”
The move stunned student lead
ers, who questioned its legality.
However, the board conferred with
Oregon Attorney General Hardy
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Meyers before making its announce
ment. Meyers told the board that
“crossing fingers” was legal under an
Oregon law dating back to 1870.
“Oregon law states that govern
ment organizations can recant any
actions if they ‘cross their fingers’
when making the pronouncement,”
Meyers said.
University lawyers said the law
was primarily designed to help the
state of Oregon make — and subse
quently break — treaties and other
arrangements with various Indian
tribes living on state lands.
Student leaders vowed to take
the board’s actions to court.
“One thing we will look at is in
voking the ‘cross my heart and
hope to die’ defense,” said Matt Le
Farj, legal director of Oregon Stu
dents United.
— Billy Eldred
Made-up words
make the grade
Sophomore history major Joshua
Messing reported Friday that he re
ceived “the highest damn grade in
the class” on a final paper about the
history of literature that he said he
had “completely blown out (his) ass.”
Here is an excerpt from the pa
per, which was returned with an
“ A+” on Friday:
“The semiotics of understanding
cannot properly be systematized by
the paradigms available to the mod
ern thinker interested in rewriting
the baby boomer hegemony of war
and victory. The old literary his
toricity routinely erases the multi
plicity of difference in mapping the
triumph of the center over the mar
gins and substituting a falsity of
unity for a reality that was and is of
fering continuousness through a
multiracial, multiethnic and multi
cultural semantic system.”
Messing, who had not studied at
all for the final, said he got the idea
to string together a variety of aca
demic “terms” after listening to a
speech by Purdue University Profes
sor Chad Ryan and after being daz
zled by the continuous use of “non
words” by his professor in lecture.
“Basically, these people make
up words that sound good, or that
have such an esoteric meaning
that they might as well not exist at
all,” he said.
After the finals were handed
back, Messing’s paper was used by
the professor as an overhead to il
lustrate the meaning of “some
garbage that I sure as hell couldn’t
understand,” he said.
Messing admitted that he had
“pretty much just lifted” the text
from Ryan’s recent speech inaugu
rating the Koehn Colloquium, estab
lished by Michael and Stacy Koehn
to bring outstanding scholars to the
University to work with Architec
ture and Allied Arts faculty.
— RiptPantz
011630
IVlUYlHAil
Community
Center for the
Performing Arts
8th &
Lincoln
■ Wednesday »
Jonathan Richman
with Tommy Larkins,
Markus James with Sidibe
Rock/Afro-Blues
$8 advance, $10 door, 8:oopm
■ Thursday ■
The Itals
Reggae
$13 advance, $15 door, 9:00 pm
All Ages Welcome • 6S7-27^6