FEATURES
Pulse briefs
Ice-T leaves fans out in the cold
Concert promoters Lie Tan and Tony Gilbert
have refused to return phone calls regarding Ice
T’s disappearance-reappearance-disappearance
act as the opener for Nelly’s Feb. 24 concert at
McArthur Court.
Word spread days before the show that Ice-T
had backed out for vague personal reasons. Less
than 24 hours later, Tan and Gilbert had dis
pelled the rumors and assured ticket holders
who payed upward of $45 for the show that
both acts would appear.
Only after Nelly finished his performance did
the audience realize that Ice-T had pulled out of
the concert. No announcement was made during
the show.
“I felt like I was misled,” said Kurt Catlin, her
itage music coordinator at the UO Cultural Fo
rum. Catlin booked Mac Court for the show and
said promoters didn’t tell him about Ice-T’s no
show until about 4 p.m. the day of the concert.
He said that this was the first concert the pro
moters had attempted, and “it showed.”
Catlin speculated that Ice-T wanted more mon
ey, and when he was refused, he canceled. The rap
per was then replaced by hip-hop group Wolfpack.
“I was very unhappy with the situation,”
Catlin said. He said Ice-T “was my biggest
selling point.”
Despite the absentee Ice-T, Catlin said the Cul
tural Forum was satisfied with the concert.
—Jen West
Lecturer discusses sex
and politics of Shakespeare
Witchery, sex, politics and performance his
tory will come together in a lecture on William
Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream.”
Stephen Orgel, the Jackson Eli Reynolds Profes
sor of Humanities, will present a lecture about
“Oberon’s Dream” at 4 p.m. today in the Knight
Library Browsing Room. For more information
about the event, contact the Department of Eng
lish at 346-3911.
— Lisa Toth
Love doctor talks relationshins. sex
■ Dr. Sol Gordon, author of ‘How Can
You Tell If You’re Really in Love?’
offers advice to students in the EMU
By Danielle Gillespie
Oregon Daily Emerald
There are many ways to gauge whether
two people are in love.
That first glance can be a sign, as can
sweaty palms, weak knees and a
racing heart.
But nationally recognized sex educator
Dr. Sol Gordon said it’s the shared laughter,
companionship, friendship and trust that
matters most.
“Love at first sight, sure it happens, but I
would suggest to take another look. At the
heart of all relationships is friendship,”
he said.
Gordon, who has appeared on “Today,”
“The Oprah Winfrey Show” and “60 Min
utes,” will be answering questions about
loving relationships today in the EMU Ben
Linder Room from 3 to 4:30 p.m.
Gordon said his lecture at the University
will derive from his book, “How Can You
Tell If You’re Really in Love?”
Eugene’s Planned Parenthood and the
Greek Life Office are co-sponsoring Gor
don’s visit. Gordon received his doctorate
degree from the University of London and
has taught child and family studies at Yeshi
va University and Syracuse University. He
has lectured throughout the United States
and Europe and has written numerous
books about sex, love and relationships for
parents, teens and children.
“Dr. Gordon is an icon in the field of sex
uality and education, and it seemed appro
priate to bring him here to discuss healthy
relationships among adults and teens,”
said Mary Gossart, Planned Parenthood di
rector of education and training.
Gordon said his lecture at the University
will be nonjudgmental and open to anyone,
whether they are currently single, married
and no matter their sexual orientation.
“If a person feels themselves to be in love,
they are. I don’t have the nerve to define love
for anyone else,” he said. “Love is love, and it
can be expressed in many different ways. ”
He said he became interested in love and
sex because it has become a neglected topic
in today’s society.
“People are hesitant to have me talk on
high school or college campuses,” he said.
“The abstinence philosophy has cut any
talk about sex. Sex is dirty. People say wait
until you’re married and you’ll be happy,
but that is not the case. ”
“Love at first sight, sure it happens,
but I would suggest to take
another look.”
Dr. Sol Gordon
sex educator
Currently, the United States has its high
est rate of single adults, with 82 million un
married and unattached. In addition, the ma
jority of those married before the age of 22
have the highest divorce rate, Gordon said.
“People have unreasonable expectations
about the whole romantic notion, ” he said.
“Unless people trust each other and respect
each other’s differences, no relationship
will work.”
In his lecture, Gordon said he plans to fo
cus on both friendship and “finding your own
voice.” Gordon said people should focus
more on friendship, intimacy and kindness,
adding that to discover if a healthy relation
ship exists, people should ask themselves,
“Do I like myself more in the presence of this
person? Is my self-esteem enhanced?”
But people often ask themselves the
/
wrong questions, he said, such as “Do I
have great sex with this person? Is
there passion?”
“People base love on sex, chemistry and
miracles,” Gordon said. “I once read a mag
azine that said there are 25 ways you can
tell if you’re really in love, and it said stuff
like ‘you know you’re in love when your
horoscopes are the same,’ and ‘you sleep in
his underwear when he is gone.’ That’s not
love — that’s ludicrous.”
Gordon also advises people to not make
decisions based on societal pressures from
parents, friends and the media. He said
people should ask themselves what they
really want and should share those inner
most desires with their partner.
Gordon will also be discussing immature
and mature love. He said mature love is
when people feel energized from the rela
tionship and can maintain their school
work, friendships and other activities. He
said immature love is exhausting because
people feel dependent, uncertain and the re
lationship interferes with their daily lives.
“If you have immature love, it is almost
always true that it is time to put an end to
it,” he said.
Planned Parenthood associate executive
director Diane Duke said she hopes Gor
don’s lecture will give young people ideas
about how to build strong relationships.
“So much of the media focuses on sex
and not on relationships as a whole,” she
said. “Gordon encourages healthy relation
ships based on respect and acceptance. ”
Gossart agreed and said Gordon may not
be able to change lives in a single visit, but
he will offer helpful advice.
“He is really just giving us some gems to
think about and integrate into our lives,”
she said. “Basically, it’s food for thought.”
E-mail reporter Danielle Gillespie
at daniellegillespie@dailyemerald.com.
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