Premium Pour Bartending
wmv.premium-pour.coin
More than just a school!
1010 Oak Street • Eugene, OR 97401 • (541) 485-4695 fax (541) 485-4844
Upcoming Classes
Professional
Bartending Classes
February 18th
I March 5th (evening)
OLCC Class
Feb. 24th
Flair Class
March 14th
Occasional
Bartending Workshop
February 22nd
'Call TODAY to reserve your spot in
any of our classes.
Brought to you by Coors Light, The Silver Bullet, “Tap the Rockies'
FEATURING
4 Saul Williams
ra26,mncD0HUjnmm
fm
■SSPfpS
mYE&ijfcjy
Tickets at Fastixx outlets or charge-by-phone: (800) 992-TIXX (8499)
• ' or online at fastixx.com or hob.com
produced by .
/OodoobQbwo &CMUGHT DISCOVER Hod#Gom iS SIRIUS
HOTTER
THAN
HELL
NATIONAL
LAMPOONS
VAN WILDER
IN THEATRES SPRING 2002
WWW.IUATIONALLAMPOOIU.COM
IARTISANI
© 2001 Die Sech&te World Media Productions GmbH & Co. Medien und Musik KC. All Rights Reserved.
NATIONAL LAMPOON© AND © 12 Communications. All Rights Reserved.
Get the SCOOp!
Log on to www.dailyemerald.com
Music needs high ‘sex quotient’
Ah, Valentine’s Day. A time
for the “twitterpated”
lovers of the world to feel
smug, revel in their perfect happi
ness, slow dance and buy each
other candy. It’s also the one day
of the year that
a guy can be
pretty sure of
the fact that
his girlfriend
will be “in the
mood.”
Valentine’s
Day tends to
evoke one of
two reactions
from people:
Those with a
significant
other are gen
erally reduced
to drooling id
iots, while those without often
spend the week before grumbling
about how stupid the holiday is,
how it was manufactured by
Hallmark, etc.
While my own Valentine’s
evening could more than likely
end with me face down on the
floor of the bathroom at John Hen
ry’s, I don’t want this column to
reflect any sort of bitterness or
cliched complaining. I want peo
ple out there to get laid! In that
spirit, I’d like to present a couple
of recently released albums that
could be the perfect soundtrack to
a night of romance — or drunken
self-torture, clutching a bucket of
Kentucky Fried Chicken, watch
ing Silk Stalkings on USA with
the volume muted.
Depper
In Stereo
For those of us who have a se
cret desire to be porn stars (and
come on people, stop denying it),
listening to the album “Nathaniel
Merriweather presents Lovage:
Music to Make Love to Your Old
Lady By” is probably the closest
that we’re going to get.
“Nathaniel Merriweather” is re
ally a pseudonym for omnipotent
hip-hop producer Dan “The Au
tomator” Nakamura, who is the
genius behind Handsome Boy
Modeling School, Dr. Octagon,
and the wildly popular Gorillaz.
The back cover of the album re
veals that “lovage” is “an herb
that is said to be a benefit for re
lieving abdominal pains due to
gastrointestinal gas,” but the-main
focus of “Lovage” is sex, sex and
more sex.
Throughout the CD, Nakamura
lays down lushly dark hip-hop
tracks, complete with a sexy
string section and a whole lot of
cheesy classical guitar. On top of
all this, singers Mike Patton (of
Faith No More!) and Jennifer
Charles pretty much act out their
darkest fantasies, to always inter
esting, and at times, disturbing re
sults. There’s a lot of orgasms to
be heard on “Lovage,” and who
can resist lyrics like “you are the
bitter /1 am the sweet / you are
the griddle /1 am the meat”?
In short, if you and your partner
are into being a little bit naughty,
“Lovage” is the drug.
For those of us who just want a
grade-A, sexy make-out album, I
can recommend nothing more
highly than the debut album by
English chill-meisters Zero 7.
■‘Simple Things” is a tour-de-force
of subtlety, swagger and yes, sex.
In describing “Simple Things,”
I provide this analogy: If a porno
graphic him ever wins the Oscar
for Best Picture, this album would
be the soundtrack. Why? Simply
put, this is lovin’ music of a very
sophisticated, intellectual, yet
non-cheesy variety.
About half of the songs are in
strumental, with a tempo as slow
as molasses. Great washes of key
boards pour over basslines so in
tensely sexy that they might pro
voke a physical reaction. Many of
the songs fade in and out like a
pleasant dream.
The songs with vocals are
equally amazing. I don’t know
where Zero 7 found these people,
but there’s a girl whose sultriness
will send shivers up your spine
and a guy who sounds like he
could be Marvin Gaye’s long-lost
twin brother.
It’s tempting to compare Zero 7
to fellow make-out maestros Air ,
but Zero 7 ditches all of Air’s arti
ness and ups the sex quotient
about 300 percent. “Simple
Things” is tailor-made for
baby-making.
And with these two recommen
dations, I scream to the masses,
“Consummate! Consummate!”
Happy Valentine’s Day,
everybody.
E-mail columnist Dave Depper
at davedepper@dailyemerald.com.
His opinions do not necessarily
represent those of the Emerald.
013485
\.
Contact the UO Cultural Forum 346-4373
Fastixx 800-992-8499 EMU Ticket Office 346-4363
log onto www.dallygiiqrald.coii and vote In cmr weekly nova polls