Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012, August 09, 2001, Page 6, Image 6

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Oregon Voice
continued from page 5
the U of O doesn’t have a liberal pa
per,” Sims said.
She added that her view of the
Voice’s news section would cover
ongoing situations that disappear
from the radar of daily news, such
as what the Green Party is doing
during non-election years, and the
section’s stories should offer solu
tions, not just reports on problems.
Justin Kistner, who worked on
Flux this year, is out of town on va
cation and could not be reached for
comment before press time.
Boone said Kistner, a designer,
had also considered restarting the
magazine. The four met and Boone
said Kistner’s layout ideas meshed
well into their content ideas.
The four share many coinci
dences beyond the fact that three of
them have left the conservative
campys paper to start a liberal mag
azine. Qualheim and Boone ran for
ASUO Executive last year on a
“joke-candidacy-or-is-it?” platform
of keeping the campus vampire-free
and making every student pay $1 for
a general student scholarship.
Boone also lambasted the sinking
Voice in the Commentator’s annual
campus media criticism issue.
Boone turned the lyrics of The Beat
les’ “Eleanor Rigby” into a
metaphor for the magazine’s silent
demise on campus.
“No better way to apply my criti
cism than to rework it and apply my
own advice, I guess,” he said.
Although they still need the ap
proval of the ASUO, the four have
already received the blessing of for
mer Voice editor Rob Elder, whom
Boone described as a semi-trustee of
the paper.
“It seemed like the right thing to
do,” he said.
If everything goes as planned and
runs on schedule -— and Qualheim
stressed that’s a big if—the first is
sue of the new Oregon Voice could
hit the stands as early as mid-fall
term. Until then, the four are plan
ning the tricky balancing act of
keeping the recognizable Oregon
Voice image and creating a new pa
per that reflects their ideas and cre
ative choices.
“Every good magazine has a defi
nite tone to it, from Newsweek to
even Maxim,” Boone said.
Lang
continued from page 5
minute I put on that music, she was
moving her hands. She is such a big
fan. Every night she puts him on the
ghetto blaster at home and goes to
sleep to him.”
Also from the world of hip-hop:
Death Row CEO “Suge” Knight and
Mari ah Carey are each out—of jail
and the hospital, respectively.
Knight did about half of his nine
year sentence wearing the county
blues for a hotel lobby beating that
preceded his car trip with 2Pac
Shakur when Pac got gunned down.
Carey went berserk two weeks ago
after a seven-city promotional tour
for her movie “Glitter,” suffering a
physical and mental breakdown.
She is resting with her mother and
hopes to be back wearing tank tops
and short-shorts in no time.
Rapper cameos are the corner
stone of any hit. With crews such as
D12 and The St. Lunatics selling al
most as fast as their superstar lead
ers, a rap song with only one MC
has become a rarity.
But the phenomenon of rap
cameos has gone too far, thanks to
Shaquille O’Neal, who actually
has three full-length albums and
one “best of’ CD to his name. Shaq
has popped up recently in the
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newest clips for 311 and P. Diddy.
In each one, the human-three-sec
ond-violation lumbers onto the set
to shoot some hoop — in the 311
video he plays against the band and
in the P. Diddy clip he plays two
on-two with Puffy against two
dudes from the neighborhood. In
both, Shaq gleefully takes the bal 1,
backs in and slams it down.
How are we—the viewers — ex
pected to respond to this display?
Are we supposed to gush with glee
at his coolness and basketball abili
ties because he took a 5’9,140
pound guy to school? Does Mr.
MVP feel the need to solidify his
place as one of the premier NBA
stars by shamelessly dunking on
someone half his size, weight and
skill level? If Dikembe Mutombo
can’t shut Shaq down that low in
the paint, what is the lead singer of
311 supposed to do outside of
smacking Shaq upside the head
with his mic? Shaq, if Kobe Bryant
ever gets his K.O.B.E. album into
the stores (his single got released,
the album did not), then you can
appear in a video playing street
ball. Otherwise, stick with infuriat
ing Mr. Lang every time you lead in
with your elbow during a game and
don’t get called for the foul.
Anyway, enough medical and
NBA analysis and back to music. Mr.
Lang watched “High Fidelity” for the
umpteenth time this week—it’s his
“Beaches”—and it has sparked him
to create his own Top-Five List. One
hit-wonders are such a mystery. The
majority of the human race agrees
that Lou Bega and Snow deserve
their membership into the club. Oth
ers , like The Verve and The Breeders
simply seemed to fall off the radar af
ter their one big radio hit. One-hit
wonderdom is a fickle mistress, but
there are a few sure-fire ways to
tempt fate and become one. The Top
Five Ways to be a one-hit wonder:
1. Sound like Creed — which
simply sounds like someone put
Stone Temple Pilots, Pearl Jam and
Alice in Chains into one of those
juicers that spit out only the best,
most nutritious part of the fruit, but
in the end leave you drinking a
greenish sludge. Creed is that green
sludge. For a band to imitate that
muck is beyond criminal.
2. Make your first single a cover
of a popular song — e.g. Alien Ant
Farm with their punk-pop version
of Michael Jackson’s “Smooth
Criminal.” Simple fact: If a stronger
song existed, the band would have
released it. If you’re considering
buying a copy of the album, wait
three months and find it in a $5 bin
at the local used CD store.
Limp Bizkit is the one exception
to this rule with George Michael’s
“Faith” creating the band’s buzz in
the late ’90s.
3. Make your second single an
acoustic version of your first single.
Remember Lifehouse? We’re still
waiting for something from them
that isn’t “Hanging By a Moment,”
plugged-in or not.
4. Turn something real into a
simple gimmick. This one is a little
more abstract. Take Canada’s
newest export, Sum 41, and their
single “Fat Lip.” Here we have an
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other group of angry, “disillu
sioned” high school kids singing
pop-punk crap about drinking and
driving around in El Caminos. The
video features the boys playing and
dancing around with way-too-cool
simultaneous moves in a parking
lot at night. The video also has a
wonderful moment where some
way-too-cute dancing girl bends
over and shakes her breasts.
Every musical movement from
the 1960s on has happened in part
because of the authenticity in
volved. Any real punk band of an
gry high schoolers singing about
throwing parties where nobody
shows up is going to be just that un
cool. Janis Joplin was nowhere
near that cool in high school. Sid
Vicious wasn’t that cool. Kurt
Cobain wasn’t that cool. Probably
even the lead singer from Flock of
Seagulls — if ’80s synth music was
a movement—wasn’t that cool.
Music can be, nay, is fun. But the
authenticity drives any real music,
which is something Sum 41 lacks
in spades, and the gods of rock ’n’
roll will judge them accordingly.
5. End up on a “Now That’s What I
Call Music” compilation CD—this
one is a 50/50 crap shoot. It’s mostly
teeny-bopper pop or one-hit wonders
on those things. But the “Now” series
has become a sales juggernaut. Vol
ume Seven, released this week, clob
bered *NSYNC down to the #2 spot.
Ironically, No. 7 included “Pop.”
Jeremy Lang is an associate editor of the
Emerald. He can be reached at
jlang@dailyemerald.com.
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