Tuesday
Editor in chief: Jack Clifford
Managing Editor: Jessica Blanchard
Newsroom: (541) 346-5511
Room 300, Erb Memorial Union
P.O. box 3159, Eugene, OR 97403
E-mail: ode@oregon.uoregon.edu
EDITORIAL EDITOR: MICHAEL J. KLECKNER opededitor@journallst.com
6
W
ho controls the British
Crown? Who keeps the met
ric system down? ... Who
holds back the electric car?
Who made Steve Guttenberg a star? We do!
We do!”
— Homer Simpson and The Stone
cutters. “The Simpsons”
Have you ever noticed how so many
people in America today have turned para
noia into the new national pastime? In so
many places — talk radio, posters and
newspaper ads, that smelly guy on the sub
way — you can see someone ranting about
the communist-fascist-anarchist-Iliumi
nati-CIA-Bilderberg Council-Trilateral
Commission-free silver-free Willy-free
love-U.S. Space Command-Microsoft
Orville Redenbacher-Otaku-Sandinista
Sex Pistols-AAA conspiracy that killed
(insert your favorite Kennedy here),
stashed aliens at Area 51 and sent Yoko
Ono out to break up The Beatles.
This new brand of paranoia can actually
be traced all the way back to May 1,1776,
celebrated since time immemorial as the
traditional beginning of spring in Europe.
But for some conspiracy watchers, there
was a more sinister event going on in Eu
rope that day. Adam Weishaupt, a Bavari
an college professor, founded some sort of
quasi-anarchist organization. Nobody
knows exactly what it was, bizarre tales
circulated by the Bavarian crown notwith
standing. He called it the “Illuminati,” a
highfalutin name that gives it a sense of
grandeur. For my money, it was just him
and a few of his close buddies, hitting beer
halls all night and getting liquored up.
However, according to some, the Illumi
nati is instead some “small group of men
; ' ■ ■■■'.■ ■ ■■' : ;■ ' ; > ' ■ . . '
the whole world and humanity in
their satanic plot for a one-world
government,” as one charming
writer put it.
The Illuminati has become the
granddaddy of the evil “secret soci
eties,” and until the advent of the
Communist revolution in
Russia, has been blamed for
every horrible event since
the 1200s. Every war, every
revolution, in the dis
eased minds of the
paranoids, can be
traced back to
Weishaupt and his
drinking buddies.
Even the United
States was supposedly
created, accord
ing to this fic
tion, as an Illumi
nati puppet.
Of course,
the Illuminati
are nowhere
near as mentioned as
they used to be.
Now, the big bogey
man is the “New
World Order.” This is some nebulous
plot supposedly hatched by the United
Nations, the Trilateral Commission (an in
ternational “gentleman’s club,” which inci
dentally includes world leaders) and ei
ther the Freemasons or, for bigots, the
Jews. The plan (snicker) is for the Unit
ed Nations to impose a “one-world
government” to sup
plant the United
States, imposing a
“big brother” rule
by all sorts of foreigners. The
“militia” movement uses this as
its rationale to exist and keep any sort of ar
tillery it desires.
Let’s not forget, however, that the left can
be as paranoid as the right. Recently, there
has been concern among the left that the
U.S. Space Command, whose job is to moni
Bryan Dixon Emerald
tor objects in space so they don’t come
crashing down on a populated area, has
been accused of somehow single-handedly
putting into action a plan with the very neb
ulous aim of “helping the final victory of
/& .JMmmmmwM ■ I 1
' i|
■s, "\#' -'f'T/' ^
.
mm:.
as another writer claims, In case you
\ haven’t noticed, the left fears the
j "one-world government’* as well.
'They just call it “globalism’’ and claim
the plot (guffaw) is for governments and
corporations to merge and turn us all
into slaves for corporate aggrandize
ment.
Of course, conspiracy theories
are, by their very lunatic nature,
of ridicule. Steve Jackson
for instance, has a game
known as “Illuminati,” in which
you can control your favorite secret
subversive society and try
to take over the world! In
the 70s, a former Playboy
a farce
“Illuminatus”
which said float
the nonsense
word “fnord” is
fhord placed through
out fnord the pages of
The New fhord York
Times as part of an Illu
minati conspiracy to keep
you (what else?) paranoid.
Are there real conspiracies out
there? Could be. As the old saying
goes, “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t
mean someone’s not out to get you.” Still, I
doubt that either a 200
some-odd-year old
wienerschnitzel society
or the Pentagon has any
real desire for world
hegemony. I’d look in
the places you’d least
expect... perhaps even a
column for a small inde
pendent college newspaper.
Oops, I must be going now. I’ve said too
much. So mote it be. Nanu-nanu. Fnord.
Pat Payne is a columnist for the Oregon Daily Emer
ald. His views do not necessarily represent those of
the Emerald. He can be reached at Macross_SD@hot
mail.com.
Letters to the editor
It’s *You shall not murder’
in the Bible
The May 11, 2001, Emerald had
a cartoon by Frank Silva. The car
toon has two panels. In the first
panel, President George W. Bush is
preaching to a crowd. He says,
“The Bible says ‘Thou shalt not.
kill!’” The next panel depicts him
pulling the switch to execute a
condemned prisoner. I assume that
this cartoon is meant to show that
Bush is a hypocrite.
The King James Version of the
Bible does indeed translate the He
brew in Exodus 20:13 and
Deuteronomy 5:17 as “Thou shalt
not kill.”
The Revised Standard Version
revised the translation to read,
“You shall not kill.”
However, the 1917 translation1
by the Jewish Publication Society
of America translates the com
mandment as “Thou shalt not
murder.” In 1962, they modern
ized the translation a little, so that
it now says, “You shall not mur
der.”
According to The Interpreters
One-Volume Commentary on the
Bible, the word translated as
“kill” in the RSV translation of
the Ten Commandments “denotes
premeditated homicide. ... The
commandment does not prohibit
killing in war or capital punish
ment.”
The RSV was revised in 1989.
The commandment in the New Re
vised Standard Version reads,
“You shall not murder.” There is a
translation note that says, “or kill.”
According to the New Oxford
Annotated Bible, the command
ment with the choice of transla
tions “Forbids murder ... not the
forms of killing authorized for Is
rael, e.g., war or capital punish
ment.”
Therefore, the whole premise
upon which the cartoon was based
is false.
Harry S. Epstein
class of 73
Eugene
Explore Yellowstone
for credit this summer
Several weeks ago, the Emerald
ran a short article showcasing
some of the summer course offer
ings. I think that’s great because it
helps make students aware of in
teresting classes they might oth
erwise overlook. However, I was
disappointed that the article did
not include two summer field
courses offered for the first time
this year by the Department of
Geological Sciences: Geology of
Yellowstone National Park and
Geology of Mount St. Helens.
These two incredible field trips
are offered for general credit, so
students may explore some of our
nation’s unique natural wonders
from a geological perspective. It
was a trip just like these that
prompted me to change my major
from English to geology.
The Yellowstone trip is eight
days and seven nights of camping
and will explore hotspot theory,
geothermal systems and other geo
logical features. The Mount St. He
lens trip is five days and four
nights and will include learning
about the devastating power of py
roclastic flows, debris and mud
flows that wreaked havoc on the
landscape, and seeing the ongoing
rebirth of that devastated land
scape.
Both trips are scheduled after
regular summer courses are fin
ished so that stiiderits will not4
have class conflicts. I urge all stu
dents considering a career in field
sciences or wanting to go on an
amazing, fun-filled, informative
camping trip to check out these
courses. For more information,
stop by the geology department to
get a brochure, or call Wanda We
ber at 346-4691.
Katherine Lee
graduate student
geology
Can men admire women
without oppressing?
I spoke at Take Back the Night.
You’ll know who I am, because I
asked society to “deprogram” and
“undefine.” I can help, but as
loud as the message needs to be
heard, I don’t want to reclaim a
night that is not mine. If a male
takes accountability for sexism
and oppressive behavior that he
Turn to Letters, page 3