Tuesday
Editor in chief: jack Clifford
Managing Editor: Jessica Blanchard
Newsroom: (541) 346-5511
Room 300, Erb Memorial Union
P.O. box 3159, Eugene, OR 97403
E-mail: ode@oregon.uoregon.edu
EDITORIAL EDITOR: MICHAEL J. KLECKNER opededitor@journalist.com
You can’t take it with you
SCRIBBLES
OF SANITY
spend thousands of dollars to do it
when you could just stay at home,
live off your parents and fail for
free?
We are all here to achieve some
thing. To eventually make a differ
ence in the world is the private
dream of the more, dare I say, sen
timental dreamers in the mix. And
fortune is the goal of the mon
etary minded. The rest of £
the group is fascinated # 1
with fame, to make their
names known to the ^
world. It all boils down to
the desire to do what you want,
for the amount of money you want
and to be recognized by others for
doing it well.
But the problem in achieving
those goals is that there are hun
dreds of people around you that
want to get there first. In our global
community today, one can’t help but
wonder: How does one distinguish
himself or herself from the masses?
It is a puzzling dilemma. How does
one rise above the other students in
the college, not to mention the other
students in the United States, and
become recognized? The answer is
simple: You don’t.
s students, we are educat
ing ourselves for great
ness. Failure isn’t the fo
jcus. If it was, then why
Selfish ambition will
only get you so far. You
may become rich, famous and able
to change the world for the better.
But think of all the things you
might have to sacrifice to get there:
a family, some friends, peace, con
tent. And in case no one has told
you yet — you don’t get to take it
with you when you’re dead. There
is a shirt that says "He who dies
with the most toys, wins." Interest
ing, but not realistic. Its counter
part says, "He who dies with the
most toys, still dies."
The students whose shelves are
lined with prestigious awards and
certificates of honor that proclaim
their scholastic aptitude are in for a
shock when the real world comes
and says, "Nice plaque. Now what
field experience do you have?" All
their grades and hard work sudden
ly become useless in getting them
that job they wanted so badly.
Then there are those of us out
there who simply come to college to
Bryan Dixon Emerald
get a job and make money. That’s it.
It doesn’t really matter what job or
where—just as long as we’re earn
ing the bucks we’re happy. Any
thing is better than flipping ham
burgers forever, right? The obvious
rebuttal is that even with a degree
there is no guarantee that you won’t
end up flipping hamburgers. But
let’s say you do get a job. There is a
good chance that you might end up
in a profession that you can’t stand,
but you stick to it because you are
raking in the money. You punch in
at the clock, do your time and go
home. You will be so tired and mis
erable that you will never get to
spend all that hard earned cash.
A drama teacher might tell his
students that Shakespeare was just a
guy trying to make a buck. Sounds a
bit irreverent for perhaps the great
est playwright in history, but
it makes a point. Shakespeare
did what he knew how to do.
He wrote plays. It wasn’t a
popular profession at the
time, and it didn’t pay much,
but he just kept pouring them
out. And now he is famous,
his works are sold all over the
world and his words have
transformed his profession.
Fame, fortune and chang
ing the world will hap
pen in life or it
won’t. The point
is not to seek
them out. They
will find you if
you give them
reason to. Just do what you enjoy
doing, and if you perform to the
best of your ability then, who
knows, your name may stand be
side Ernest Hemingway, George
Washington, Vincent Van Gogh or
Louis Pasteur. If not, then at least
you can live life to the fullest, en
joying every moment.
Jayna Bergerson is a columnist for the Ore
gon Daily Emerald. Her views do not nec
essarily represent those of the Emerald.
She can be reached at
bjay@gladstone.uoregon.edu.
Sex show leaves bad taste in the mouth, with or without bananas
diary of a
s^-^Malcontent
MICHAEL J. KLECKNER
I attended Ron Jeremy’s S&M
Sideshow on Jan. 26 at the
WOW Hall, and I was dis
turbed — maybe offended,
maybe not—by what I experi
enced. I decided to write about it
because sexual politics is a conver
sation which has been going on for
decades and which never seems to
lose its urgency or complexity.
Before I explain my unease, let
me say I am an unabashedly pro
pornography, sex-positive queer
man. The University has intro
duced me to the deconstruction of
sexual imagery and the often subtle
objectification of women, but I
don’t buy every word.
I understand these ideas, but I
believe Madonna is right; women
have the power (even if it’s diffi
cult) to reclaim their sexuality and
be in control. Plus, my own sexual
habits are not mainstream, and I
can enjoy objectification—finding
physicality stimulating for its own
sake. But I think there is a decided
difference between reveling in hu
manity’s sexual nature and allow
ing one’s testosterone to become
exploitative and demeaning. Un
fortunately, the line between those
extremes is not always so clear.
The S&M Sideshow had no
sadism or masochism, by the way.
At best, it was a “sexually-themed
sideshow.” There was no nudity.
But after the bands played and the
customers had some beer, Ron Jere
my took the stage, and the tone of
the evening turned a little ugly. Je
remy’s shtick was stupid, if playful.
He wove together references to
how many women he has had sex
with and self-deprecating jokes.
Then Jeremy launched into a
stand-up routine of gross jokes about
women, men, dogs and paraplegics.
The jokes were old and mean-spirit
ed. As he wound down his 15 min
utes of work, Jeremy joked about eth
nic versions of “foreplay”—“What’s
Polish foreplay?”, “What’s Jewish
foreplay?”, etc.—the answers to
which I will spare you. His final joke
was, “And what’s foreplay in Eu
gene, Oregon? ‘Get in the truck,
bitch!”’ The last line certainly hit me
as encouragement of nonconsensual
sex. After he said the punch line, I
was deafened by the male roars of
“Oh, yeah!”
The crowd at the WOW Hall was
decidedly young and male. The at
mosphere in the room grew in
creasingly aroused and almost hos
tile, much what I imagine a strip
club feels like on a busy Friday
night. I think I understand slightly
more what it means to be a straight
female in an overwhelmingly male
sexual culture.
The trickier part was the “Ba
nana Eating Contest. ” The women
participating in this bit were volun
teers. No one forced them onstage
to simulate fellatio. These women
clearly wanted to compete, and
they wanted to be sexual. I could
examine the reasons these women
chose to display themselves, but
that’s not my point.
During the “best orgasm sound”
part of the banana contest, the men
shouted and cheered, most enthusi
astically for the contestant who
made noises reminiscent of pigs be
ing slaughtered. Was I overboard in
thinking they were most excited by
the woman who sounded as though
she were in serious pain? Maybe I
was. Sex, after all, is on that line of
pleasure so good it hurts.
Jeremy then asked the women
their favorite sexual position. The
only one to get booed said she liked
to be on top. A few men even
cursed at her, with words too impo
lite for this newspaper. Am I over
the line to suggest these macho
guys didn’t like their power being
usurped? Maybe I am. But it creat
ed an unpleasant vibe in the room.
The worst part, for me, was as the
women actually fellated the ba
nanas. The noises and words being
ejaculated from the depths of the
young studs in the audience were
truly offensive. Descriptions of what
the men would make the women do,
grotesque name calling and a beast
like cacophony filled the hall. It was
like a sporting event, only the com
petitors were women and scoring
was, well, “scoring.”
I can’t pretend that I wasn’t titil
lated. Lots of testosterone in one
room can do that to people. And I
felt the familiar surge of adrenaline
at having sexuality displayed
openly. But I left the event feeling
dirty, and not the good kind of
dirty. I felt as though Eugene itself
had encouraged males to treat
women without respect for the au
tonomous sexual beings they are.
Writing a column (or hundreds of
scholarly texts, for that matter) won’t
provide the consciousness-raising
necessary to make these horny
bucks act differently. Not every man
at the show acted boorishly, but the
behavior isn’t confined to Eugene.
Men across the country feel and act
this way toward women. But as a
community, do we have to allow
shows like Ron Jeremy’s to be per
formed so publicly—as just another
entertainment event—so that we all
tacitly put our stamp of approval on
the behavior?
As far as I know, no one spoke out
against the show happening. No one
questioned the glowing preview of
the event that ran in the Emerald. Af
ter all, in our culture, sex sells. If
you’ve read my column to this point,
sex is probably part of the reason.
And I attended the show, so I’m just
as complicit as everyone else. In Eu
gene, this type of entertainment ap
parently passes the sensitivity test.
Maybe it should. This issue is more
complicated than censorship, and
I’m sure many people—men and
women—enjoyed the show. It was
simply silly entertainment, right?
I guess I’m just disappointed that
Ron Jeremy is all Eugene can attract
and applaud. Where’s Susie
Bright? I anxiously await a real, fun
sex-positive cabaret show, so that I
can see sexuality in public without
feeling confused and implicated in
the ongoing degradation of women.
Michael J. Kleckner is the editorial editor
for the Oregon Daily Emerald. His views do
not necessarily represent those of the
Emerald. He can be reached at opededi
tor@journalist.com.