Tuesday
Editor in chief: Jack Clifford
Managing Editor: Jessica Blanchard
Newsroom: (541) 346-5511
Room 300, Erb Memorial Union
P.O. box 3159, Eugene, OR 97403
E-mail: ode@oregon.uoregon.edu
EDITORIAL EDITOR: MICHAEL J. KLECKNER opededitor@journalist.com
LONE VOICE IN
THE WOODS
>ixon Emerald
Nobody is as weary of fad TV shows as I
am, but when it comes to co-opting a
populist hit in the name of local politi
cal satire, I’m all for that. So, as the
time draws near once again to decide this Uni
versity’s membership in apparel license moni
toring groups, it is time to remember the activists
of the past and get ready to play “Hippie/Activist
Survival Center Island.”
The contestants on our island this year read
like a list of the usual suspects. Jay Breslow,
ASUO president, leads the cast of returning
characters. Arrested last year as one of the local
protesters, Breslow is a politician at heart, which
makes him an early favorite.
Another strong contender for the last hippie
standing is surely Maria Roper, Worker Rights
Consortium staff person, who is in it to win and
isn’t going to back down from any local yahoo
like Breslow.
Other players who return from prominent ap
pearances last year include Randy Newnham, a
spokesman for the Human Rights Alliance, and
Sarah Jacobson, also from HRA. Both were vigi
lant and ready at a moment’s notice to condemn
those who dared have a world view opposed to
their own beacon of wisdom. Jevon Cutler, for
merly of the Survival Center, is loud and active,
as any good hippie protester should be. Also on
our island, we mustn’t forget local icon Frog. Al
though he wasn’t officially a member of a com
plaining group during last year’s snafu, his sheer
wiliness and rugged endurance suggest a keen
survival instinct.
As the game begins, the lights come up on a
rainy, flora-filled park just west of the Universi
ty. The small crowd meets and greets each other,
sizing up the opponents. Jacobson eyes Cutler;
Newnham glares at Breslow; and Roper tickles
Frog.
In their first immunity challenge, all partici
pants are forced to find the most purely organic
foods available within one mile and return to
camp. The crowd races off, with Cutler and Jacob
son heading for the local falafel stand, Newnham
marching to a natural tea house and Frog scurry
ing off to a treasure trove of wheat-germ goodness.
Unfortunately, Maria Roper looks dazed and out
of place, having never before left her New York
City WRC office. Winner of the immunity chal
lenge: Frog.
Thus, with Frog immune from being tossed,
the tension builds for the remaining contestants.
After small side deals are made among the
group, the vote comes up, as announced by the
very bellicose host, Laura Close. First off: Sarah
Jacobson. Unwilling to yield her principles for
victory, Jacobson loses because she won’t play
the game. The defeat is the work of a master
politician, possibly a Jay Breslow.
And the rounds continue in the same manner.
Next off is Newnham. No particular reason, oth
er than the rest of the group didn’t take to him
very well. Next goes Cutler, leaving Breslow,
Roper and Frog. Strong personalities, strong
wills toward victory. Next off is Frog. Sorry, but
personality can only carry you so far.
That leaves Roper or Breslow to be the ulti
mate winner, dependent upon the votes of the
Survival Center Island members previously
tossed off. After a close finish, Laura Close an
nounces that between the two master politicians
and true believers, Maria Roper is the ultimate
Survival Center Island winner. This is shocking,
of course, to the crowd, considering Roper does
n’t attend the University or live in the area.
Such a shocking finish can only be followed
by a more galling finale. Unhappy at the loss,
Breslow demands a recount. He grabs at Roper’s
face, pulling off a synthetic mask to reveal none
other than: University President Dave Frohn
mayer!
“I wanted to show my social conscience and
say, ‘Common sense be damned,’ and I would’ve
gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for you
meddling kids.”
Bret Jacobson is a columnist for the Oregon Daily Emerald.
His views do not necessarily represent those of the Emerald.
He can be reached at bjacobso@gladstone.uoregon.edu.
Letters to the editor
Community policing
abolition adverse
Eugene Police Chief Jim Hill’s re
cent announcement that he’s aban
doning community policing seems
more like a budget-busting tactic
than sound public-policy decision
making. Although the police serv
ices budget has nearly doubled
since 1991 and the serious crime
rate has declined 3 percent, Hill
suggests he needs yet more money
to implement the widely popular
community program.
Even though community polic
ing has a goal of reducing crime and
at the same time reducing cost, old
guard officers apparently believe
the program is “soft on crime and
is primarily social work.” The
strong-arm approach of law en
forcement that the entrenched pub
lic safety personnel seem to favor
has already proven to be a disaster
in community relations.
We believe that intimidation and
harassment are all too common in
Eugene law enforcement, and the
exercise of authority is not bal
anced by attempts at problem solv
ing. The resulting alienation be
tween police and the community
reduces the safety of all. Hill’s en
thusiasm for New York-style, zero
tolerance policing suggests that he
looks forward to further conflict be
tween citizens and police.
The lack of responsiveness by
the Eugene Police Department and
the city government to citizens’
concerns has led to the formation
of the INDEPENDENT Police Re
view Project. As a citizen group in
dependent of government influ
ence, the IPRP will monitor city
law enforcement policy and seek to
implement objective citizen police
review.
Randy Gicker
Sherry Franzen
IPRP
Bowl game made me
a Duck fan
Having the pictures developed
from my recent trip to San Diego
reminded me of something I in
tended to do earlier.
I am an alumnus of the Univer
sity of Texas and a fan of its foot
ball team. I traveled to San Diego
with the hope my team would
win the game and I would go
home happy.
The point of my letter is that my
“other” team won the game. I
knew nothing about your program
or your fans, but I now know the
University of Oregon can be very
proud of both. You have an intel
ligent and fast team, and you have
some of the classiest fans I have
encountered. I have become a
Duck fan and will follow the pro
gram and wish it all the good for
tune it deserves. I will still have to
pull for my “Horns” when the two
meet, though.
I just wanted to say thanks and
hello to all the Duck fans I met
and hope we can do it again in the
near future. The national champi
onship game would be great. Go
Ducks!
Steve Kirkpatrick
.. .Highlands, Texas