PULSE EDITOR: MONICA HANDE
BANTER ABOUT THE FILMS YOU M AY NOT REMEMBER OR ARE TRYING TO FORGET
111
VIDEO REVIEW
‘Cloak and Dagger’
Starring: Henry Thomas, Dabney Cole
man, Michael Murphy, Christina Nigra,
John Mdntire and Jeanette Nolan
Commentary
Josh Ryneal &
Mason West
Memory is a tricky thing.
“Cloak and Dagger”
was one of those
movies that seemed re
ally cool when relying on child
hood memories. What kid doesn’t
like spy movies that include explo
sions, video games, gunplay and
elderly terrorists? The problem
with this movie is that it complete
ly fails to live up to the expecta
tions that a misty memory sets up.
This column has been pretty
lucky so far. “The Adventures of
Baron Munchausen?”: As good as
we expected. “Transformers: The
Movie”: Even better. OK, “The Ice
Pirates” was a bit of a stumble, but
it was light-years better than this
movie.
In a nutshell, the plot revolves
around young David Osbourne
(Henry Thomas), son of an Air
Force sergeant (Dabney Coleman),
an avid war-themed role-playing
game enthusiast who becomes
mixed up in a plot to sell top-se
cret bomber plans to terrorists. But
in one of the earliest examples of
cross-promotional tie-ins, the
plans are hidden inside of a
“Cloak and Dagger” Atari car
tridge, which David must rescue
after witnessing the violent death
of an FBI agent.
Speaking of violence, this movie
is awfully dark and violent for a
supposed kid’s movie. “Cloak and
Dagger” is stuck in limbo: Too dis
turbing for small children but too
implausible and stupid for older
viewers. Over the course of the
film, David sees five people
meet bloody deaths, and
it doesn’t seem to af
tect him.
Where the
movie hooks you
or loses you is
with Coleman’s
dual role as
both David’s
father and his
imaginary
friend, super
spy Jack
Flack. The
dichotomy is
interesting —
as Dad, Cole
man is con
cerned and con
servative, and as
Flack, Coleman
tells David- to con
stantly shoot bad guys,
shoplift and disre
gard authority.
The Jack
Flack
character seems a little like Drop
Dead Fred, from the movie of the
same title. He is an imaginary
friend, but he seems to have some
control over reality. This
becomes apparent at the climax of
the film’s moral conflict when
Flack seemingly diverts the bad
guys’ fire while David shoots him.
Mason: So is he really there, or
just imaginary?
Josh: Well, you see David walk
ing down the street talking to
Flack, and then in the next shot
he’s talking to nobody. So, I think
he’s imaginary, but that’s where
the filmmakers screwed up.
The way that the director has
Flack come in and out of reality
with camera cuts and pans is a
good cinematic device, but gener
ally confusing. Flack admits that
he isn’t real, but he opens doors
and sees things that David can’t
see. These are very real. I guess
we’ll just have to rope off this
plot hole and direct traffic
around it.
The thing that is ap
pealing about the film
is that the villains get
their just desserts.
No hokey ending
where the bad guys
are carted off to
jail; in this movie
they all meet
timely ends.
Whether it’s
through a wind
shield, on the re
ceiving end of a
bullet (or several)
or in the fiery infer
no of an exploding
plane, kids will get a
certain visceral satisfac
.tion from seeing the peo
ple they hate getting what
they deserve: bloody
death.
It is funny
that
Thomas just finished “E.T.” before
this film because the elderly
woman who plays one of the two
criminal masterminds has only
three fingers. When she takes off
her glove to reveal her secret, it
looks a lot like E.T. is trying to heal
Elliott.
Mason: I swear that her finger
started glowing for a second.
Josh: Elliiiiiioooootttttt. Elliiiii
ioooootttttt.
There are a few redeeming mo
ments to this movie. We found a
whole two quotes worth a laugh:
“Heros don’t just shoot people.
They put dinner on the table; they
fix bicycles ...” — Dad
“You’ve got a helluva nerve
stealing inside the Alamo” —
guard
But despite a few laughs, the
hour and a half that is required to
watch this movie is more valuable
than the money spent making it.
Josh Ryneal and Mason West are Pulse re
porters for the Emerald.
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Get down and dirty on the Web
amihotornot.com
★★★☆☆
PROS: Easy to use, addictive and gives you a certain guilty pleasure. This site
shows you how your vote compares to the average and how many have voted on
each picture. Guaranteed tor hours of fun.
CONS: Judging people strictly on their physical attractiveness? What areyou,
some kind of jerk?
www.theonion.com
★★★★★
PROS: Some of the funniest free entertainment you’ll find on the Web all year.
Great writing, fake photosand a wonderful arts and entertainment guide that
highlights both mainstream and alternative music, movies and books. Also
boasts some great merchandise, a rarity on the Internet
CONS: It’s, well, fake. And it only comes out once a week. But don’t let that stop
you from checking it out.
www.totaIsports.com
PROS: Chock-full of statistics, stories and great photos. Sports fiends and trivia
masters looking to expand their knowledge will find a new home here.
CONS: Is it all that different from the other online sports sites out there? Use it as
an addition to the sites you already use.
www.gamesages.com
★★★★☆
PROS: Massive amounts of game information and a searchable database. Game
players will find everything they need, including codes, maps, walkthroughs and
cheats.
CONS: Massive amounts of game information that the search engine doesn’t
always filter through effectively, requiring users to clickthrough a series of
tedious links.
■With these four Internet
sites, students looking to
waste time won’t have
trouble getting nothing done
By Josh Ryneal
Oregon Daily Emerald
Ah, the Internet. A mind-bend
ingly powerful tool that has been
both praised and demonized for its
ability to allow people to find pretty
much anything they want. Al
though most use the Internet for re
search or entertainment, what about
when you just want to waste time?
Whether stuck in the library,
goofing off at work or lazing about
at home, the Internet has a lot of
possibilities for passing the time,
waiting for something better to do.
Here are some Web sites that will
help you become less productive
than you already are.
www.amihotornot.com
Remember in high school, when
you used to give people ratings on
how physically attractive they
were? And that little twinge of guilt
you felt when you did it? Well, the
Internet thinks of everything. Now,
you can revisit that old pastime
without having to feel any remorse
about being a superficial jerk.
Amihotornot.com operates on a
Turn to Web sites, page 8B
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