Sometimes the best part about summer is
the movies. But not this year. While there
is some intrigue in movies like “The Patri
ot” and “What Lies Beneath,” there’s noth
ing like “Jaws,” “Jurassic Park” or “Inde
pendence Day” that will have everyone
talking. With cartoons, unappealing se
quels, talking horses and an array of ridicu
lous plot lines dominating the line up, it
looks as if “Gladiator” may have been re
leased two months too soon.
Big Momma's House (June 2)
Starring Martin Lawrence, Nia Long,
Paul Giamatti, Terrence Howard
An FBI agent impersonates a gigantic
southern matriarch known as “Big Mom
ma as he tries to capture a fugitive.
JW: Big laughs or big let-down? Go with
your first im pression.
Running Free (June 2)
Starring Chase Moore, Jan Decleir, Arie
Verveen; voices of Lukas Hass, Maria Geel
booi
An abandoned horse struggles to survive
in southern Africa.
JW: Could be the best talking
horse movie of all time. Does any
one care?
Gone in 60 Seconds (June 9)
Starring Nicolas Cage, Robert
Duval, Angelina Jolie, Giovanni
Ribisi
A legendary but reformed car
thief is sucked back into the busi
ness when he is forced to steal 50
specific cars in one evening in or
der to save his brother's life.
JW: Plot gives way to sights and
sounds in a typical, hollow sum
merflick.
Shaft (June 16)
Starring Samuel L. Jackson, Vanessa
Williams, Christian Bale
A smooth-talking black private detective
dazzles the ladies in this 1971 remake.
JW:Could Samuel L. Jackson beany cool
er?
Titan A.E. (June 16)
Voices of Matt Damon, Bill Pullman,
Drew Barrymore
A 19-year-old searches for a map left be
hind by his father that holds the secret to
This year’s summer movies
are mainly warmed-over
ideas from seasons past
Nicholas Cage and
Angelina Jolie
‘Gone in 60 Seconds’
id A
M
Ml
saving mankind from the slave-driving
aliens of the future in this completely com
puter-generated film.
JW.Must be one hell of a map.
Fantasia/2000 (June 16)
When Walt Disney created that bold mas
terpiece in 1940, he intended “Fantasia” to
be an ongoing endeavor. His vision comes
to fruition with “Fantasia/2000.” Like its
60-year-old predecessor, “Fantasia/2000”
is a showcase of the latest animation tech
nology aligned with classical compositions
if
k
Jackie Chan stars in
‘Shanghai Noon’
from Beethoven, Gershwin, Shostakovich
and others.
JW: Maybe this Fantasia will actually be
interesting... Nah.
Chicken Run (June 23)
Voices of Mel Gibson, Julia Sawahla, Mi
randa Richardson, Tony Haygarth and Phil
Daniels
A coop of chickens tries to escape the
farm to avoid a certain death.
JW: You 've gotta be kidding me.
Me, Myself and Irene (June 23)
Starring Jim Carrey, Renee Zellweger
A cop with two different personalities
goes to war against himself as each person
ality contests for the love of the same girl.
JW: We already knew he has a split per
sonality. The question is: Will this be the
“Dumb and Dumber" Jim Carrey orthe “Ca
ble Guy" Jim Carrey?
The Patriot (June 30)
Starring Mel Gibson, Heath Ledger, Jason
Isaacs, Joely Richardson
A hero of the French and Indian conflict
reluctantly returns to battle when the
American Revolution threatens his family.
JW: “Braveheart" set in America? We can
only hope.
The Perfect Storm (June 30)
Starring George Clooney, Mark
Wahlberg, Diane Lane
An entire crew on the fishing boat An
drea Gail perishes in one of the century's
worst storms, and the surviving families
and rescue crews most cope with the disas
ter.
JW: “Twister," “Volcano” ... Just when
you think they've covered all the natural
disasters...
Disney's The Kid
(July 7)
Starring Bruce
Willis, Emily Mor
timer, Jean Smart,
Spencer Breslin
A successful but
unlikable 40-year
old image consult
ant turns his life
around when he
meets himself as an
8-year-old boy and
remembers his
childhood dreams.
JW: Bruce Willis
continues to prove
his critics wrong,
seeking out new roles and growing as an ac
tor. Well, sort of.
The X-Men (July 14)
Starring Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen,
Halle Berry, Janies Marsden, Famke Janssen
A group of humans are genetically al
tered into mutant superheroes with unique
Turn to Summer, page 6B
And the winner is...
From bar brawls to hot dates, here’s the best and worst of Eugene’s drinking establishments:
MOST LIKELY TB GEL HIT: (tie) Jogger’s, Rennie’s
MOST LIKELY TO GET HIT OH Doc’s Pad, Scandal’s Dancing Club
(2222 Centennial Blvd.)
MOST LIKELY TO BET HIT BY PROJECTILE VOMIT. Rock n Rodeo (44 E 7th
Ave.)
BEST POOL HALL Lucky’s (933 Olive St.)
BEST PLAGE TB TAKE A OKIE: (tie) Sorfah, Lava Lounge
WORST PLAGE TB TAKE A BATE: Jiggles Bar & Grill (2165 W. 11th Ave.)
Ron Kerr
Kerr has mixed drinks at the Cafe Soriah bar since
the place opened seven years ago. His freshly
squeezed margarita is known as one of the best in
town.
Q: Describe the worst customer you’ve ever had
to serve.
A: Mr. A. You know, one of those people that’s
“me, me, me, and how are you doing, oh let me
tell you about me." No respect, no couth, no class.
We ran him off.
Qt This is known as a classy place. Do women come here because they
know they won’t get harassed as much as at other places?
A: If people harass women here, they’re gone. If you are even remotely
bugging women here, you’re gone. Forever.
Ql Anything you’d like to add?
A: There are only two rules here. No bad drinks, and don’t bring your dick
head friend.
BIST LIVE MUSIC: WOW Hall (291 W. 8th Ave.) Honorable mention: Sam Bond’s Garage (407 Blair
Blvd.), John Henry’s (136 E. 11th Ave.)
MOST EUGENE! (he) The Tiny Tavern (394 Blair Blvd.), Max’s
LEAST EUGENE: Lava Lounge
BEST BAR YBB’VE NEVER BEEN TB: The Cooler Pub & Grill (20 Centennial Loop)