One isn't such a lonely number after all,
especially when there's a big box of chocolate
right by your side and you're wearing your
favorite red underwear
Windy Borman
for the Emerald
Holidays are always tough, especially if you can’t
share them with someone special. There are simple
ways to dismiss the fact that you’re single, however.
On Christmas, you can count your blessings as
you listen to how much your pal spent on her sweet
ie in return for a lousy McDonald’s gift certificate.
For New Year’s Eve, you can always kiss one of your
friends and make a resolution to have a special
someone next year; once you start exercising it
should be easier, right?
But the calendar gods or the candy companies —
take your pick — decided to foil your plans by
throwing in Valentine’s Day, not even two months
after the big night that rings in the new year. That is
n’t nearly enough time to put into effect your reso
lutions for losing weight and finding a honey.
Valentine’s Day should be renamed “Single
Awareness Day” because it can truly be the loneliest
time of year. You can’t even count on your friends
because they’re too busy being lovey-dovey with
their sweethearts.
Even that single friend you
kissed on New Year’s Eve is
off-limits because he has
miraculously found someone
who can put up with his
knuckle-cracking habit.
So what do you do? Well,
there are a number of ways to cope with “single
dom.”
First, you have to decide whether you want to
give in to the sweetheart celebration antics or not.
If you don’t mind surrendering to the mushy men
tality, you can buy yourself some sexy underwear or
lingerie and wear it, even if no one else sees it. Last
year Thought some silk boxer shprts with big red
lips all over them. I wore them to bed, and I swore
to myself that I looked better in them than anyone
else I know.
Since the candy companies practically own
Valentine’s Day, you can help the economy by buy
ing yourself a box of your favorite candy or choco
late. Then, you can either eat the whole box —
which would hinder your pesky resolution — or
you can give them to random people on the street to
sweeten their day.
Another option is to throw a party for you and all
your single friends — no couples allowed!
“It seems to me,” sophomore Krys McCants said,
Reporter’s
NOTEBOOK
{ { Since the candy companies practically
own Valentine's Day, you can help the
economy by buying yourself a box of your
favorite candy or chocolate. Then, you
can either eat the whole box ~which
would hinder your pesky resolution—or
you can give them to people on the street
to sweeten their day. A ^
“that couples have every day to be mushy with each
other, so why should they have an extra special day
just for them?”
In response to the couple-friendly day, McCants is
having a group of single friends over to watch the
“cheesiest,” sappy movies she can find, like “Six
teen Candles,” “Dirty Dancing” and “Don Juan De
Marco.”
By limiting the movie marathon to singles only, Mc
Cants hopes to avoid listening to how much the cou
ples love each other or, if a couple is separated on the
special day, how much they miss the other half.
If you’d rather stage a protest against the cutesy
couples, you also have some options.
Maybe you can wear all black, like my friend
Mari Traverso, in protest of the pink and red hearts.
James Hein ignores the corporate holiday completely.
“I don’t believe in Valentine’s Day,” said Hein, a
sophomore. “I used to work at Hallmark and they
pretty much own the holiday.”
Pallavi Ingle, a junior, follows a similar path of re
sistance and says she doesn’t even really notice the
holiday.
“Unless all my roommates are getting flowers,”
she said. “Then I say ‘Boy, I’m single, and I’m aware
[of it].”’
Whether you decide to celebrate the holiday solo
or with a group of single friends, be sure to stock up
on tissue, just in case you have to console your gal
pal when her sweetheart dumps her at dinner on
Feb. 14.
Ouch!
Maybe being single isn’t that bad, after all. Be
sides, you can eat ALL the chocolate yourself.
Five alternatives to coupling up this Valentine’s weekend
1 .See “Top Girts” with a group of girl
friends. Shows start at 8 p.m. on Fri
day and Saturday.
2. Climb Spencers Butte and look at
the stars—weather permitting, of
course.
^ S j >?<>y v* t<' & C \ fl; /V
3. Get dressed up. go out to dinner
with a group of friendsand flaunt your
------
bad selves in front of all the couples.
4. Send Pokemon Valentines to all
your friends.
5. Wear red underwear, all day long.
1
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