Affected by Abortion?
Can an abortion affect one's parenting skills?
Obviously, if women and men are having emotional
problems because of their past abortions, this is going
to have an impact on their families. For example,
women who have had an abortion are more likely to
report subsequent substance abuse. Clearly, alcoholism
and drug abuse have a negative impact on families.
Women who have had abortions are also more like
ly to become depressed for long periods of time. This,
like other prolonged reactions to abortion, can affect
children’s emotional development, which is modeled
on their parents’.
A past abortion can also have a direct impact on
one’s parenting “style.” For example, in one study of
women who had post-abortion problems, nearly half
reported that they feared they would be “punished” for
their abortions by some harm coming to their other
children.
In many cases, these women choke back their love
and are afraid to bond with their children. They fear
that if they love their children “too much,” they’ll be
punished by losing them.
Conversely, nearly half of die women in this study
reported a “compulsion to be a perfect mother.” These
tendencies have led many women to report that they
have become overly protective and “smothering” of
their subsequent children. They too may be motivated
by a fear of harm coming to their children, so they are
deathly afraid of letting them out of their sight.
Unfortunately, some parents with unresolved grief
want their bom children to serve as “replacements” for
the one who was aborted. This can result in the bom
children constandy being judged against the unattain
able standard of “what might have been.”
But aren't these problems offset by the fact that abortion
has reduced child abuse by reducing the number of
unwanted children?
This “fact” isn’t a fact at all. Indeed, after decades
of study, researchers haven’t found a single shred of
evidence to support the conclusion that abortion
reduces the risk of child abuse. Instead, numerous stud
ies have shown the opposite: a history of abortion is
statistically associated with higher rates of child abuse.
These findings are supported by clinical experience.
A substantial number of women and men seeking post
abortion therapy have described a link between their
unresolved post-abortion feelings and patterns of emo
tional or physical abuse of their subsequent
children.
One woman described feelings of intense rage
whenever her newborn baby cried: “I did not under
stand why her crying would make me so angry. She
was the most beautiful baby, and had such a placid per
sonality. What I didn’t realize then was that I hated my
daughter for being able to do all these things that my
lost [aborted] baby would never be able to do.”
Are you saying abortion can cause child abuse?
Yes. The reasons for child abuse are complex, and
can’t be fully dealt with here. But let me make a couple
of quick points.
Difficulty bonding with subsequent children
because of fear, shame, or guilt is commonly reported
by post-abortion parents. Lack of adequate bonding is
also one of the most significant risk factors for child
abuse. When inadequate bonding is combined with
feelings of anger and rage, which are common afteref
fects of abortion, a dangerous mix can result.
Martha Shuping, M.D.
In some rare instances, abortion can also lead to com
plete emotional breakdown with tragic results. Renee
Nicely of New Jersey experienced a “psychotic
episode” the day after her abortion which resulted in
the beating death of her three-year-old son, Shawn. She
told the court psychiatrist that she "knew that abortion
was wrong" and that she “should be punished for the
abortion." Unfortunately, Shawn became the victim of
her pain and guilt.
Sadly, in years to come it may be shown that post
abortion trauma was a major cause of the dramatic rise
in child abuse cases in the last two decades.
Can abortion have an impact on siblings who were
already bom?
Yes. Some children experience “survivor guilt”
over the abortion of a sibling. They feel guilty that they
were the ones “chosen” by their parents to live. Some
may even feel that they are responsible for the abortion
of their sibling; if they had not been “so much trouble,”
perhaps their parents would not have felt it necessary to
abort “another burdensome child.”
One expert in the treatment of child abuse, Dr.
Philip Ney, has noted that children who know they
were “wanted” may not feel they were simply “wel
comed” for who they are. This subtle shift, from being
unconditionally “welcomed” into a family toward
being “wanted” to satisfy their parents’ expectations,
may have a lasting impact on the child’s self-percep
tion.
Dr. Martha Shaping, M.D., is a psychiatrist with more than ten years of
experience in hoping women with post-abortion issues.
Supporting citations are posted at www.afterabortion.org
Post"Abortion Stress Quiz continued from page 6
06: Was there a period after your abortion
when you experienced an increase in the use
of alcohol or drugs? Have you experienced
other forms of emotional deadening?
Have you experienced any suicidal
thoughts? Do you take risks that put your life
in danger? Have you developed any eating
disorders?
Q7: Do you have trouble finding, building, or
maintaining good relationships with people
of the opposite sex? Do you have trouble
with issues of trust and control?
Do you get involved in hurtful or
abusive relationships? Do you tolerate abuse
because you feel you don’t deserve any bet
ter?
Q8: Have you lost the desire for sexual inter
course? Do you have increased pain during
intercourse?
Have you become promiscuous because
of low self-esteem?
Have you lost a previous desire to have
children, or are you filled with an anxious
desire to have a child as soon as possible?
Q9: Do you experience periods of depres
sion, heightened anxiety, or cramping during
certain months of the year, particularly dur
ing the months that would correspond to the
month of your abortion or the due date of the
aborted pregnancy?
Q10: Did you have a faith in God that you
have now lost? Are you afraid of God? Are
you angry at God? Have your rejected your
religion for emotional rather than thoughtful
reasons?
Post-Abortion Stress Quiz Answer key:
If you have answered yes to three or
more of the previous questions, post
abortion counseling may help. Skilled
and understanding people, many of
whom have been through the same
things you are going through now, want
to help. Many services are free. See page
2 for a list of referral centers.
Hjp pe and Healing
Educational Insert
afterabortio
• org