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"The Land East"
^ Traditional
T Greek & Indian Food
I
.*^9100
Lunch
Monday through Saturday
Dinner
7 Nights a Week
992 Willamette
Eugene, Or 97401
343-9661
A C
l imited Student 'Fix!!
LTD Station across the street!!
Opening February 26!!
r Book & Lyricsby
^ Howard Ashman
Music by
Alan Menken
Directed by Joe ZingO
Fri & Sat at 8PM - February 26,27 &
March 5,6,12,13,19 & 20, 1999
Dinner, Dessert & Beverages Available
Sunday Matinee at 2PM - Mar 7 & 14
Thursday at 8PM - Mar 4, 11 & 18
Actors Cabaret - 996 Willamette
lor I k kets & Information
Call 683-4368
Make a difference.
Recycle this paper!
Chalk up ‘failure’ for Hall and King Missile m
ibe creators of ‘Detachable
Penis’ still offer witty lyrics,
hut the music gets in the ivay
By Michael Hines
Oregon Daily Emerald
The music of John S. Hall can make
Beavis and Butthead laugh and a poet
think.
Hall, the frontman for King Missile III,
fat Is short of producing music to the ears
in the band’s latest release, “Failure."
The poet grew up in New York City’s
Greenwich Village
Failure
King Missile III
RATING:
★★ *
and has created the
third incarnation of
his spoken-word
band, King Missile.
Yes, this is the
same band that pro
duced the hilarious
Detachable Penis.
The funny thing about “Failure" is
that its 14 tracks are crude, sad and in
sightful all at the same time.
The title track, about self-help books,
is brooding:
“If at first you don’t succeed, fail and
fail again. And fail again. And fail again.
“And walk tall, and stand up and say, ‘I
am a failure. I am a failure. I am a failure.’”
King Missile III will perform in Port
land on March 8 at the Satyricon. Brad
ford Reed is the opening act.
Hall has a gift for taking the embar
rassing parts of society, such as the “Jer
ry Springer” television show, and mak
ing them truly ridiculous.
The song that sticks out most on this al
bum is “Gay/Not Gay,” a delightfully nasty
diatribe about what makes someonegay.
Here are some of Hall’s insights:
“Sports are gay, especially contact
sports — unless you’re the only guy on
either team, in which case it's straight”;
“Watching pornography alone is neutral,
like eating a sandwich: it’s neither
straight nor gay”; and “Discussing sex
with a woman is straight. Even saying to
a woman, ‘Sometimes I wonder what it
would be like to suck a cock,’ is straight.”
This is some funny stuff. Unfortunate
ly, Hall’s spoken-word style just doesn’t
seem to mesh with the my-first-Casio-key
board-style “musical” interludes between
deep thoughts. The new music just does
n’t work as well as “Detachable Penis.”
While the church organ music in
“Gay/Not Gay” is humorously ironic,
it’s also annoying.
Hall either could use better musical
backup or should just drop the rest of his
band, because it takes away from his hu
morous musings.
Another of Hall’s obvious talents is
his ability to tell a story. “The Adven
tures of Planky” is a fantastic tale of a
lump of plankton and a stick of wood
that become friends.
The story details how the two friends
set off to “have fun and adventures.”
They meet a monkey who tells them, “It’s
pronounced ‘Monkey-ee,’ not ‘Monkey.’”
This kind of detail also lends itself to
“The Boy Made Out of Bone China” and
“The Little Sandwich That Got a Guilt
Complex Because He Was the Sole Sur
vivor of a Horrible Bus Crash. ”
These are all truly original, crazy stories.
It's too bad they are hindered by the music.
Coming
up '
■ WHO: King
Missile III
■ WHEN:
March 8
■ WHERE:
The Satyricon
in Portland
Final Four
Continued from Page 7
The flow of the game is really
smooth, with no extra waiting for
things to happen. The producers
of the game, 980 Sports, have cre
ated it so its load times are shorter
than the hang time of a good free
throw.
One problem with the game,
however, is that every time any
kind of good shot is made, you get
an instant replay. After two min
utes of playing and 10 instant re
plays, you begin to look for the
“off button on the replay feature.
Fortunately, there is one.
The other problem — and, ar
guably, the only “real” problem —
is that it is incredibly difficult to
pick up a loose ball. The computer
opponent somehow always seems
to pick it up before you can.
The game does exhibit some
real “three-point” design with its
premier features. “NCAA Final
Four ’99” is the first basketball
game to have play-by-play an
nouncing, just like other big sports
titles. Announced by college an
nouncer Quinn Buckner, the state
ments aren’t as repetitive as in oth
er games, but this game seems to
have less overall announcing than
others. Depending on whether
you are a fan of guest announcers
or not, this could be a good or bad
thing.
Then there’s the usual assort
ment of features we have come to
expect from a production compa
ny that does only sports games.
Real player motion capture, play
er-controlled instant replays, mul
tiple game angles, injuries, inten
tional fouls and, of course, every
team’s fight song and official
home and away jerseys.
In the end, what you get is a
game that plays and looks great,
brandishing all the features neces
sary to become a sports fan’s fa
vorite.
East 19th Street Cafe
1485 E. 19th Street
342-4025
High Street
Brewery & Cafe
1243 High Street
345-4905
1
McMenamins Pubs & Breweries
Serving Handcrafted /IIt's b Wines and Pub Fare
1:00am-1:00am, Monday - Saturday & 12:00-12:00 Sunday
GEN ADMISSION Th-Sa $6 * DISCOUNT SHOWS Su-Wc $4 50 / Matinees $3 ★ Seniors $3.50 ★ kids 12 & under $2 50 ★
BARGAIN PASSES ON SALE NOW 5 MOVIES FOR $20 00, 10 FOR $35 ★ GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE'
5:15 & 9:20 Nightly SAT MAT 6 3:10
2 ACADEMY AWARD
NOMINATIONS
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Bsoon lock, stock, and smoking barrel^
■ Tickets arc on sale now al the lobby ticket counterl
W lor the 71 si Annual Academy Awards shown I
if al Ihc Bijou Art Cinemas Sundav
I? ^March 21 si' Don l miss it' Us a bfasi! j
HELD OVER!
7:25 Nightly SUN MAT 9 3:20
MERYL STREEP MICHAEL GAMBON KATHY BURKE
HELD OVER! MUST END SOON! ^
6:10 & 8:30 Nightly
SAT A SUN MA-r© 3:40
7 ACADEMY AWARD NOMINATIONS
INCLUDING BEST ACTORA BEST DIRECTOR
DANCING
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JS
i BEST ACTORx BEST
AND BEST PICTURE!
ROBERTO BENIGNI'S T TTTTI TO
LATEST MASTERPIECE JLjir £j j.0
, BEAUTIFUL,
«y, ora—i i .au nignuy LS
WILL SMITH
GENE HACKMAN
ENEMY OF THE STATE
COMING A CIVIL ACTION
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JAMES VAN DER REEK
JON VOICHT
VARSITY BLUES
COMING YOU'VE GOT MAIL
This Saturday the heat is on at
SCANDALS
After 10:30 - Specials, Music and Fun ALl NIGHT LONG The best dance party in Eugene is always at Scandals
2-2 2 2 'Centennial Blvd (Next to Autzen Stadium) 343-4735