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EDITOR IN CHIEF
Ryan Frank
EDITORIAL EDITORS
Kameron Cole
Stefanie Knowlton
I
No matter how much we deny it, cheese TV is a guilty
pleasure for many of us
h
It all began in eighth
grade when 1 discov
ered this cool, new
TV show called “Bev
erly Hills, 90210.” It took
place in California, the
characters drove cool cars,
they lived in big houses
and went shopping all the
time. My brother would con
stantly make fun of the overly
trendy program, saying things
about Brandon’s and Dylan’s
hair and that Donna was funny
looking. However, he never
seemed to miss an episode.
Throughout the legacy of
“90210,” a new classification of
viewers emerged: the closet watch
f er. Oh, you know who you are. You
rush home from school government
meetings, telling your peers you
have "mad studying” when, in truth,
you can’t wait to see what will hap
pen with Donna, David, Steve, Kelly
and whomever else is the new heart
throb on the Spelling spectacular.
Opinion
Amy
Goldhammer
Yougeta little bit
peeved when some
one calls during the
show, and even if it's
someone you’ve
been longing to talk"
with, a vague, ab
stract conversation
results from your
end of the line. The
closet “90210”
watcher claims he or
she “doesn’t really
watch it—you
know if it’s on or whatever, then
maybe.
Oh, please.
We study until our brains turn to
mush, attend super-long lectures
and eat rice a lot. “Beverly Hills,
90210” allows us to stare at the idiot
box for an hour or so, let our minds
wander into Nine-Oh-Land and be
come enraptured in the lives of the
make-believe characters. Remember
when Donna and David finally had
sex? Yeah, Ithought you did.
Now, just to clear things up, the
closet watcher is not limited to
“Beverly Hills, 90210.” It also ac
counts for “Friends,” “Dawson's
Creek,” “Ally McBeal,” “Just
W* Shoot Me,” “Felicity" or any
other prime-time show that we
watch when we should be doing
something else.
The characters have tight groups
of friends and eat meals that consist
of all four food groups. Their houses
and apartments are always clean,
and they never seem to wear the
same thing twice.
It is surprising how many
closet watchers are out there.
My friend Nick sweetly asks
me to tape “90210” because
he has class on Wednesday
nights and whether I know if
“Friends” is a rerun.
And speaking of reruns ...
“Beverly Hills, 90210” is on four
hours every day (five on
Wednesdays) while “Friends”
is on twice a day (three times
on Thursdays). I figure anyone
can satisfy their closet kick at
almost anytime during the day.
But it has been brought to my
attention by a frustrated former
roommate of mine that "Daw
son’s Creek” and “Beverly Hills,
90210” have created a separate
section of the closet watcher: the
flipper. Seeing how the two
shows air at the same time, some
viewers are tom between The
Peach Pit and Capeside High
School, resulting in flipping from
one show to the other during com
mercial breaks. Don’t producers
and programmers know both
shows would benefit from “Daw
son’s Creek” being scheduled to air
after “Beverly Hills, 90210”?
The closet watcher is one of the
best people to watch television with.
Great attention is devoted to the
show when it is on, homework is put
aside, or barely looked at, and zone
out time begins. Then there are the
groups of friends that gather together
every other week or so to watch the
desired closet show together. Some
one brings salad, someone else a
main course, and before you know it,
a “90210” party is in the living room
—all four food groups if you’re
lucky. And everyone is murmuring,
“Gosh, I haven’t seen this show in so
long,” when really, all of you
watched it the week before.
Just think about it — the guy sit
ting next to you could be a closet
“Ally McBeal” fan, and you know
your professor watches “Friends.”
Besides, you’re sitting there think
ing, “Wait a minute, today is
Wednesday — Yes! ‘90210’ is
on!”
Amy Goldhammer is a columnistfor
the Emerald. Her views do not neces
sarily represent those of the neuspaper.
Letters to the Editor
PRIDE fallout
I’d like to express my frustration and dis
may with UO Vice President Dan Williams’
decision to deny the PRIDE Hall proposal,
and President Dave Frohnmayer’s subse
quent support of the solution.
PRIDE Hall is not a proposal for a separate
Queer University. In libraries, classrooms,
labs and the student union, the UO will
continue to be a sexually diverse, albeit pre
dominantly heterosexual, environment. Es
tablishing a residence hall for queer and
queer-friendly students supports a vocal
sexual minority on campus which exposes
homophobia and initiates discussion of
queer issues.
It is crucial for many queer people to talk
about their experiences with other queers. I
enjoy discussing queer issues with many
straight friends and colleagues. However,
being the first gay man that many students
meet can be tiring. I look forward to talking
to my boyfriend, who understands my ex
periences with homophobia and gay identi
ty on a deeper level because of our common
experience as gay men.
The fact that UO Housing would worry
that a hall of queer students would be phys
ically threatened is proof of an unsafe cam
pus. Such a problem is not briefly solvable.
Queer students deserve a place on campus
now.
Do you really believe the justification for
this decision? Does the denial of a queer in
stitution actually support the empower
ment of queer students? Does the UO actu
ally stand for the integration of the UO com
munity, or are they more concerned with
the effects (donors, legislation) of support
ing queer rights?
Syd Peterson
Robert D. Clark Honors College
Wrestlemania
The idea of our University of Oregon
wrestlers wearing rubber suits to lose
weight is an unsettling one. I am shocked
that in 1999 wrestlers still think that losing
weight is the way to become more competi
tive. Perhaps in the world of college
wrestling this is still true, but our wrestlers
ought to be looking beyond college. If they
decide to turn pro after college and wrestle
for a living, they will be competing in a
sport without weight classes. In profession
al wrestling, bigger is better. Some of the
greatest athletes in the sport carry a little ex
tra around the midsection: ‘Stone Cold’
Steve Austin, Goldberg and Hulk Hogan are
not svelte. Heck, even Andre the Giant had
quite a gut. A piece of advice to college
wrestlers: don’t waste your time losing
weight, work on your stage presence and
chair swinging. But hang on to the rubber
suit.
Jim Simula
Computer Science