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EDITOR IN CHIEF
Ryan Frank
EDITORIAL EDITORS
Kameron Cole
Slefanie Knowlton
In the age of healthy living, a
columnist wonders what ever
happened to good old
fashioned debauchery
Cbrts Hutchinson ’Emerald
In a world where sex and drugs and rock ‘n’ roll
seem to have fallen into oblivion, a new type of
college breed appears to be on the brink of con
quering a majority status amongst the Universi
ty of Oregon students.
I’m talking here about the health freaks that con
sume all that healthy-food merchandise they sell on
TV, wear those tight tank tops and crowd the UO
gym on a daily basis to display their horrendously
bulgy and protuberant muscular limbs.
__ There are so many of them, it’s
Ohininn scary- And the outbreak is so serious
•r that the number of followers of this
sinful sect seems to be rising by the
“l
imnuitJ.
It is in the midst of all this vitamin
infested, power bar stomaching, fat
: free dietary product hell that 1 think
<1 it’s about time someone steps up and
-> puts a stop to all this ego-tnpping,
VinCS muscle-fetishist, fitness worshiping
WpripirrK fad that is swarming our campus.
Someone just has to do it And
since no one else appears to be whil
ing to, it might as well be me.
Thing is, it’s not that I don’t like gyms. They’re all
right. I’ve actually ventured stumbling into one
once. Lasted about a week my failed attempt at rid
ding my body of the increasing rolls of chub that
were building up in the area around my gut. That
whole week I’d leave the gym and run sick straight
into a bucket, while the lactic acid tortured even' mi
cro ounce of my terribly aching body. Hell. Just had
to quit
But despite my unfortunate experience, I’ve got to
admit that the UO has one pretty choice gym. It’s the
Harry Jerome Weight Room, located inside
Esslinger. One rather cool place, indeed. It’s always
filled with lustrous and sweaty people, it’s got a ton
of looking glasses to caress the ego of those big, buff
boys, and it plays KNRQ’s non-alternative rock on a
constant spool. The place is kind of like a bar. only
without chicks, beer, pokies and a pool table. So it’s
not so bad.
It also has quite a vast variety of muscle stimulat
ing equipment It has dumbbells to work on that fee
ble, Ghandi-like biceps. It's got lat pull-downs to put
some extra beef on that weak, under built back. And
it’s got bench-presses to sort out that pigeon chest, as
well. Plus, it has aerobics gear aplenty; stuff like ex
ercise bikes and step machines and treadmills.
Also it’s in that very gym that you can get those
classic dietary' hints as well as hear the latest about
carbohydrates and proteins.
So, it’s a pretty all right place, the gym.
Only I can never understand why people go there.
Lifting life-threateningly heavy' weights sounds
more like a masochistic ritual than anything else to
me.
But they keep on doing it.
And there are so many students frequenting the
place I dare say we are witnessing a fever of unprece
dented magnitude. Even a good friend of mine who
used to do all sorts of freaky shit and indulge in
some very dirty and unhealthy perversions has
turned into a fitness nut now.
Guess where you can find the bastard every single
afternoon of the week at around five? The gym,
course, and 1 fully don’t get it. Whatever the reasons
that lead people to live such a crazy lifestyle, the fact
is that this whole celebration of the body deal has
gone a bit too far. Working out simply cannot be fun.
The thing is a freaking drag: Nothing can be worse
than the drudgery of lifting weights that weigh loads
for a whole lingering and heavy hour. It just can’t be
fun.
But if these people want to keep on wasting their
precious existences hoisting massive weights in the
confines of a sweaty, testosterone-filled, stinking
gym, be my guests. Although I’m trying, I guess I
cant stop them.
All I know is that it would be classic if we could
forget this absurd health obstinacy and bring the
good old sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll philosophy back
to our campus. That’d be top.
But while this remains a wish and those guys keep
heading for the weight room. I’ll just sit here and fin
ish off my lager. In the heat of all this workout drawl
1 forgot I had a coldie ready and waiting for me.
Vince Medeiros is a columnist for the Emerald. His uvrk
appears on alternate Fridays. His thews do not necessar
ily represent those of the newspaper.
Letters to the Editor
A message to rioters
On Halloween night I was walking back
home from Safeway with my baby on my
back in the hopes that he would drift off to
sleep during the walk. Unbeknownst to us,
we were downwind from this year’s campus
riot. At 19th and Ferry, I smelled sulfur, and
in a matter of seconds felt like my face was
on fire.
With my eyes, nose and throat burning, I
ran in the opposite direction. With each sec
ond the burning intensified. My eyes and
nose streamed and I could barely see. Any
moment I expected my baby to burst out
screaming in pain. People on both sides of
the street were dropping to the ground and
grabbing their faces.
I’ve heard students posing the argument
that riots are inevitable when combining
students with police in riot gear. Please.
You had the choice to be responsible. Your
actions precipitated the tear gas. That tear
gas caused pain and suffering to people who
didn’t choose to be involved.
In addition, the police are too eager and
willing to lob tear gas. There must be more
appropriate methods that stay confined to
the problem area and doesn’t drift off to
punish innocent people in other neighbor
hoods.
Please understand I don’t have a problem
with rioting for a good cause. There is noth
ing honorable in being drunk and stupid. As
a fellow student I’m embarrassed for you.
As a mother I ‘m pissed.
Arwen Maas-DeSpain
Sociology
Animal research unethical
In response to the letter from Jocelyn
McAuley of the Institute of Neuroscience
(ODE, Oct. 27), I have the following to say:
While I agree with you that it is a poor at
tempt at journalistic humor to make light
of the primate’s escape, I disagree with
your utilitarian view of their lives. Simply
put, your logic escapes me. You find worth
in the research value attributed to a set of
living, breathing organisms. You find jus
tification in confining and subjecting them
to studies that may or may not yield benefi
cial results. I can only speculate on what
motivates such work. 1 can only speculate
on what compels you to view such work in
an ethical light. Of course cures for cancer,
malaria, leprosy and AIDS must be found.
It is a contradiction, however, to trade the
life of an innocent organism for the chance
of such discoveries; a life is a life.
Dustin Herron
Eugene