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EDITOR IN CHIEF
R}*an Frank
EDITORIAL EDITOR
Kamercm Gokr
Get wet
■I and
be merry
Don t let the extreme dreary season
get you down
Rea: in ms paper me other da;, ttiat
this waia: is sut posed to be the
wettest of me iast couple of years.
According to weather forecasters.
Novemoer Ibeoemoe: ant January are go
ing t: os s: miserable we are going to get
mors ram than-those deluged southeastern
towns after □eirastating hurricanes from
me tropins stop io: a visit It s going to be
trumping hardcore m me valle} folhs.
Vi em because we are in me middle of fail
arm oeuause winter is rust around the cor
ner monger, mis would oe
wr/ie about
E :S tniS vro
lamp, horrible
weaiher L wgys
comes followed
by c radical
change in the
oena'aor of many
oeonie in oui cam
dc.5 one
As the firs* .eaves
star to yell ow or
Opinion
Vince
Medeiros
ie: and thick, dark clouds
shrouc tut whole town, sending endless
nouns o: rem pouring down on our heads, a
io: of people are affected by. you know.
A... those relentless downpours make
many students stumble into the bottomless
depths of depression and melancholy,
""nose once nappy smily faces turn grim,
arm tear, wistful eyes are all over our cam
pus. It's a pretty sad scene, you've got to
3ut you. dear reader, you shouldn't let
this moist weather put you down like that.
No. You can do better than that. Don't
come to school sporting that grumpy,
whining face, and leave that exaggerated,
bile-dripping hatred of rain at home. It
doesn't pay. Honest
Let's make this horrid, gray fall and win
ter days of love and jov instead.
How does that sound? Let us?
Well, first of all. you gotta make sure you
break that numbing silence that envelops
our rainy campus between classes (usually
at 10 to top of the hour) and start saying
"hi." Humanize our inhumanely soaked
lives by smiling at every bastard you walk
by. Crack a beam even when you walk past
one of those "aggro" baseball-capped kids.
(Odds are he'll never reply to your kind
gesture, but give it a try', anyway.)
•Also, sell your used textbooks to those
freshmen grommets cheap Don't get
ripped of}, that’s not what I mean, but don't
try to clean up the kiddie, either. Wave to
that nice OPS officer who issued you a S40
ticket last week after your metier had onlv
just expired — after all, “he/she was just
doing his/her job.” And don’t forget to be a
courteous driver and let the other guy score
your parking spot {even though vou had
the blinker on first).
You have to keep in mind that giving is
more fulfilling than taking. Therefore, help
losers clamber out of their eternal geekiness
teaching them how to be cool and stuff—
the grateful nerd will remember you for the
rest of his life. Give your teacher a flower as
an appreciation for that nice-looking C Tip
the Subway chick at the EMU. and remem
ber to pick up a flier from that keen activist
who spent hours in the rain trying to get his
political message across.
.And, really important, show gratitude to
vour friend’s friendliness and buy him/her
a pint of one of those savory microbrews.
Two pints would make an even better im
pression.
Make sure you hit the slopes, too. Ac
companied by a top bourbon to keep you
warm and a bunch of hooting friends, noth
ing beats the thrill of drawing insane lines,
snapping off the top of deep bowls and
busting all sorts of coo! jumps. .And vou
can’t forget the coast A day of surf will
most definitely make you happy. Winter is
when the biggest swells stalk the Oregon
coast. So while wimpy kooks stay at home
suckling their mother’s bosom, you're left
with a clean, giant line-up empty for you.
Ah, winter...
.And, most important, make love.
Nothing tops love on a drizziv cold
night. It doesn't get better than engaging in
some losing to the sound of rain tapping on
your roof. Eventually you get past that last
cotton barrier to un\ eil a beautiful, delicate
silken ... Oh, Jesus!
So be a nice person in the coming
months. Never mind the fact that the heav
ens will be constantly dumping water on
our heads, and be a good, happv individ
ual. Let’s keep our school a pleasant place.
It's possible and most desirable and will
make us feel good.
Nothing like a solid spirit of camaraderie
and friendship to maintain our campus
surrounded by good \ibes in this wet.
frosty season.
I triceMecieirvs is it columnist for the Emeraki.
His eieus Jo nor ritvessarlh represent those ctf
the netusfkiper
AfV/1
"'T
-I KNEW THIS
WOU.D HAPPEN
f WE LAUNCHED A
SENATOR