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EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Sarah Kickler
EDITORIAL EDITOR
MikeSchmierbach
NIGHT EDITOR
Nicole Krueger
The President’s
i
CHRIS HUTCHINSON/Emerald
University President Dave
Frohnmayerfound a variety
of outlets for the grief of
losing close family members
is none for three rainy winters where
it is always three o’clock in the after
noon. We don’t want to lose. We do.
(The Bulls should lose more. They
don’t). Parents shouldn’t outlive their
children. They do.
University President Dave Frohn
mayer reminds me of the recently ac
e didn’t ask to be born.
We were. We don’t
want change. It comes.
We want change. There
OPINION
Hannah
Dillon
quired notion that if
one’s child dies
first, we deem it an
aberration. Chil
dren should outlive
their parents, and if
they don't, the nat
ural order of life is
out of order. Histor
ically, it wasn’t so.
If children made it
to the age of 5, they
were on their way to beating the
odds. Such a historical perspective
has been a component in helping
President Frohnmayer “cope” with
the loss of two of his five children.
“What else?” I asked. I came to his
office because I wanted to know how
he has managed to head a large, pub
lic institution, with its incessant de
mands and responsibilities affecting
a significant number of people,
while living in a fish bowl and expe
riencing one of the greatest losses
one can. Frohnmayer graciously al
lowed me a glimpse into a few of the
factors that have provided him with
sustenance.
“You can’t deny grief,” he says.
“You can’t run away from it. When
the last casserole is gone, it’s there.
And when two people, a couple, are
grieving, you can’t rely on each other
to meet the emotional needs of the
others. You have to find it within
yourself.”
“Did you take a leave of absence?”
Three weeks. President Frohnmay
er claims to be extremely fortunate
because he loves his work, which he
did not seek, which makes it even
better. It has sustained him through
his grief. “Work has been my salva
tion," he offered. Because it is the
kind of work that affects people’s
lives in important ways, much is de
manded, much is at stake. So, the
need for his complete engagement
has made it imperative that he extend
himself beyond his sadness while not
ignoring its presence. There were a
few times when he had to postpone
labor-intensive work because he sim
ply did not have the necessary con
centration. “My staff stepped up in
incredible ways and provided
tremendous backup.”
President Frohnmayer’s first pub
lic appearance occurred 10 days after
Kirsten’s death. He was scheduled to
give a very public speech in Portland,
and because he felt the need to step
back into the realm of stability, he de
cided to go ahead with it. But before
the onset of his address, he knew it
was important to acknowledge to his
audience what they already knew —
that he and his family had lost anoth
er family member and were devastat
ed. The audience’s response to his
candor was heartfelt and appreciated
as he had given himself and them
permission to interact in a very real
way.
President Frohnmayer commented
that being a part of the University
community, and the ways in which
this community has responded to his
family and given so much support,
have been a major factor in their abil
ity to manage as well as they have. He
wondered how others with terminal
ly ill children and few support sys
tems could possibly deal with any of
it. “We received, at the minimum,
2,000 responses. So many people
sent such wise words and shared
themselves in incredible ways. Their
support was an invaluable source of
connection and comfort. The law
school, too, was remarkable in its at
tention to us.”
We talked of the difficulty of being
patient with and giving time to peo
ple who are preoccupied by the small
stuff of life — that which seems in
consequential when one is con
cerned with the multiple health is
sues confronting the lives of one’s
children and the toll it takes on the
entire family.
In the midst of our conversation,
President Frohnmayer got up,
grabbed a book from a table and
handed it to me. This volume is an
other way he and his wife Lynn have
managed to face, with seeming equi
librium, the loss of their daughters.
“Fanconi Anemia — A Handbook for
Families and Their Physicians,” sec
ond edition by Lynn and Dave Frohn
mayer.
"We have lived with the diagnosis
of Fanconi Anemia since 1983. This
is not how we had expected our lives
to go. It has been vital for us to do
something, to take action.” And so
the Frohnmayers created a handbook
as a "result of many hours of research
and consultation, and years of experi
ence. It is written for lay people by
lay people. We are not doctors, but
we follow progress in FA-related sci
ence on a daily basis.” They were
also the pivotal force in creating the
Fanconi Research Fund Inc. in Eu
gene, “founded to provide support to
FA families and to raise money for
scientific research.” His and Lynn’s
efforts are all so that another child
may not have to suffer the “grim
prognosis" of Fanconi Anemia.
I asked Frohnmayer what he
thought of his own mortality and if
he was afraid to die. He thought for a
minute and then said softly, “No, I’m
not afraid to die, but I am a father,
and I still have young children to take
care of."
We don’t want to die. We do. But
before we do, may we know what it is
to love and be loved.
The Frohnmayer family does.
Hannah Dillon is a columnistfor the
Emerald. Her work appears on alternate
Fridays. Her views do not necessarily
represent those of the newspaper.
Thumbs
PAYING THE
EUGENE CITY
COUNCIL:
As The Register
Guard pointed out
Wednesday, Eu
gene's city workers
regularly turn in 40- :
hour weeks and re
ceive no compensa
tion. Of
medium-sized cities
in the region, Salem
and Eugene are
alone in not paying
their city councils.
Obviously, this is
unfortunate simpiy
because many hard
workers do not re
ceive fair compen
sation tor hard
work. Inaddition, it
has the unfortunate
effect of limiting the
available poot of
candidates tor city
posts. After all, in
order to work asa
council member,
you must have an
alternate source of
income,eitherasa
business owner or
an independently
wealthy individual.
To allow more peo
ple from a larger
numberofback
grounds to partici
pate in city politics,
the council needs to
be paid,
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Unless you keep
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gene-colored haze,
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in addition, they
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