VIEWPOINTS
FDifOfUALS OPINIONS IHTfRS TO THE fOlTQR
Leaders can’t remember;
lawyers just plain stupid
■ OUR OPINION Lawyers
and politicians are
defining the word 'dumb'
"The tmth is out!hurts
We've just got to find It."
Rep Wise Cooley, the belea
guered (ht?gon Congress
man. said in a rw enl pres*
omionimx
Wait a minute, what's this
"we" stuff?
Cooley is in worse shape
than any of us thought if the
man can't figure out how to
navigate his way beck to the
world of telling the truth all
by himself This Is a grown
man talking here' And
apparently one who not
only needs to get out of
office Immediately, hut on*>
who could benefit from
some professional counsel
nig as soon as he does loave
office
While Cooley is in deep
political trouble and will
probably bn looking for a
different career soon, he and
his staffers should realise
the incredible opportunity
that exists for Cooley in the
field of magic
Tliough no photographer
was able to capture it on
film. Cooley stood before
that room full of people in
Medford, elevated himself,
and promptly stuffed both
of his feet in his mouth.
During the show in Med
ford on Tuesday, Conley
Culled other rhetorical mb
it* out of his hat as he
addressed about 1 $0 jour
nalists and political sup*
(KMlars (probably moreTike
147 journalists and throe
supporters! to try and
answer some of the ques
tions and allegations that
have dogged him for the
past month or so
If Cooley somehow sur
vives his current "truth
telling crista.- h«i urnid
protuibly win an award for
Ix'itiK the mail ehxpient
of • variation on the
words marie famous by
Ronaid Korean during lhe
Iran-Contra hearings. “I
don't remember" (the truth
or the farts, that is)
But the Republicans aren't
the only one# suffering from
memory loss or lama am us
as
Analysts are predicting
CUtica] and legal trouhliM
President Clinton, hi*
wife and aide# as a result of
Tuesday's Whitewater guilty
verdicts for two of the presi
dent's former business part
ners and Arkansas Gov )im
Guy Tucker. Adding to Clin
ton’s political embarrass
ment was Tucker's
immediate resignation —
turned in Just hours after the
Arkansas jury's decision.
Add to this the renewed
interest in a political blun
der made by Clinton's
lawyer about the Paula
lone# sexual harassment
suit, and a recipe for
scorched presidential aspi
ration* could very well lie
served up in November. The
Republican National Com
mittee jumped all over a
brief filed by Robert Bennett
that < out part*! a request for
a delay in the lawsuit
against Clinton, commander
in chief of the military, to
she kind of delay that active
duty servicemens burs are
entitled to under the Sol
diers' and Sailors' Relief
Act.
As for a second Republi
can Revolution, it probably
won’t hapjien. The GOP
seems to have an incredible
talent for snatching defeat
from the jaws of victory —
as they learned when
(kmrge Bush failed in his try
for « second term
P*»l MM Ml
ftrt'lMMMJ
AND /f ANVONB
OBJECTS TO TNE UNION
Of THESE TWO /H&V
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OP EOftEVB' MAy
/ have />»cKed
apj A BAD
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/vfM> SAX)
nx?
Energy wasted on political correctness
"A* long at you know that mmt nten ore chil
dren you know everything' — Gabnelle 'Coco"
Chanel
In my life, IV# only known tout men of
integrity; *11 three of them taught m# what It
mean* lobe • man of principle, honor and
morality with a passionate hne for hit fami
ly. friend* *ml conviction* All at them taught
mm there things unintentionally, anil I teamed
from their action*, the only way worth learning
1 atili have a long way to go fanfare I am call
nsvrelf um at thore men
During my 21 year*, it** pathetic that I’ve only
met four main* who truly deserve to call them
relvo* men l‘tn |u*t fortunate that one of them 1*
my hither
Mow gentle made*, you mult be wondering
what the hail I'm trying to get at and why I've
managed to leave out the more intelligent of the
spec ie* Real simple — I'm going to eparw about
male* and then perhaps get on to talking about
overall paranoia on this campus in genera! So
start calling me a resist bastard now and get it
out of the way After all. 1 may pnrt use that moat
heinous of sexual epithet*, "bimbo.'' again
It seem* there's a wee bit of an uproar about a
certain group of Christians invading Autren Sta
drum and throwing one hell of a shindig com
plete with dope, sheep, booxe and free love ail
around Uh whoop*, sorry, that'* the Oregon
t «Htn<r> lair
No kid*. if» the ProuM ktMjw*, those who
unapologetijally label themselves “Men of
Integrity " These guy* travel from stadium to
cold-out stadium preaching the gospel of men.
becoming better men to then wive*, family, and
the Almighty. I hate to be a cynic, but you don't
become a better man |ust because you spend 55
bucks to cry and be intimate with 40.000 other
guys, then say you'll be nice to the kid* and the
Mrs now.
But enough about that It seems that certain
member* of our community aren't too pleased
about these guys fearin' it up at Autzen. They
claim the Promise Keepers are homophobes and
that they are discriminatory to women
True, the founder of the Promise Keepers was
caught with his nious foot in his mouth in 1992
wham he stated that “homosexuality is an abom
ination of Almighty God.“ He didn't My this at a
Promise Keeper* confcrmue. so the organization
claims it is not anti-homosexual. However, the
Third Promise of ihe Promise Keepers is to he
sexually pure, whatever that may be. So I had a
chat with Promise Keepers state manager Dennis
Blevins After multiple Scripture quotes, he
finally said that the Third Promise relates to
adultw and thinking about other* In a lustful
manner fa* one's own selfish indulgence*. He
went on to stale that the Promise keeper* do not
condemn homosexuality So we have the urgent
cation saying imc thing while the founder Is say
ing quite another Htnm...
As to the Promise Keepers' view of taking
charge of the family and leading it, every mar
riage that l have sewn work involves both ih«t
husband and the wife leading
I the family — a* equal* You
ju#t don't go home and atari
dominating the wife. She'll
I luck your a** — straight out
I the door.
But as to women not being
invited, so what? What'* wrong
with men getting together for a
little male bonding? Would all
thi* happen if the Boy Seoul*
held a jamboree? They're all
male, supposedly religious and
do weird things (tuch a* run
mug arounu nan naked. ttmiming. covartra in
mud and looking like something out of Lord of
the Flu**) I was a Boy Scout, and that'* where I
learned what real men were, Of course, it took
longer than just one weekend
If men need to get together few support then
why the uproarT 1 don't aae people getting their
panties in a snit about the Women's Center
(Whoop*, touched the wrong sacred cow. J If
there were a Men's Center (then? was a fight
about this a while back}, it would hit the fan
Men don't need men for support Keep your
problems to yourself; the local bar is your sup
port group
A fellow columnist got blasted repeatedly by
critics (mostly women) for espousing his views
on certain women's issues. His critics state that
lanatiM- he's not a woman, he has no idea what
lie's talking about. When the idea of a Men's
Center come* up. those same critics (again most
ly women) go off cm how men have no need for
such a place Oh really? Well now, 1 am so glad
they were kind enough to enlighten us males as
much as Mr. Cunningham has enlightened the
women on this campus. Gee. Ms Pot. what
color was that kettle again?
This isn't about a Men's Center, or the
Women's Canter, or even the damn Promise
Keepers. It's about realising what you really
need to waste your energy on. Everyone on this
campus has this holier-than-thou mentality.
Everyone has to he politically correct, and
everyone is paranoid that he or she will break
this holiest of dogmas l could care lees if any
one on this campus brands me as a sexist or
anything else
The crap and the paranoia that goes on here
doesn’t fly in the real world. As soon as we ail
realise that, maybe we will finally alt get along
/esse / Bohrwr CUtncy. a senior majoring in bio
chemistry. is a columnist for the Emerald E-mail
jbclancygtgfadslone uoregotredu