VIEWPOINTS
f QifQRlAt S OPINIONS
l f T T f fi $ TO T HI lOlTflR
Martians, great leaders
all contaminate earth
■ OUR OtttttON Life forces
across (fie galaxy should
learn some lac!
A* you walk through the
EMU Courtyard this wank, it
la moat likely that you will
hear environmentalists’
(Ties for an end to logging,
an inc rease In recycling, and
the need for civil disobedi
ence to obtain the necessary
reforms. What you probably
won't hear are environmen
talists' concerns about
NASA bringing virulent
Martian life to planet Earth.
It seems that NAHA is
planning a trip to Mars in
the year 2005 The purpose
of this mission will he to
obtain rocks and ice from
the planet and bring them
bar k to Earth for further
study. A special panel has
been formed by the National
Academy of Sciences to
ascertain the potential haz
ards of this mission, includ
ing the possible
contamination of the Earth
NASA plum to use thi«
|nmol to help explain to the
Environmental Protection
Agency the worn! cate sce
nario* that could occur a* a
result of this mtitian If the
mission it approved, and
NASA it allowed to study
the material* not in space,
hut within the familiar con
fine* of the Earth's atmos
phere. the organisation will
then have to register the
material* with the Depart
ment of Agriculture, apply
for emergency landing per
mil* in every *tate — possi
bly in other countries — and
develop proper quarantine
procedure*
While our nation’s i|mc«
and environmental organi
sations are busy worrying
about the arrival of alien
species on Earth, the deputy
commander of Russia’s
<Gagarin (ImmorMui Train
ing Center. Onenl Yurt
Gtukov. is obviously not
worried about contamina
tion aboard the Mir space
station Whan asked why
American astronaut Shan
non Lucid would be wel
comed on Mir. Glaxkov said.
"We know that women love
to clean."
Maybe his quote is an
indication that our country
should be a little less con
cerned about the possibility
of Martians multiplying on
our planet's surface, and a
little more concerned with
the increasing number of
sexist pigs that seem to be
taking over space stations in
our pari of the galaxy.
Back on plane* Earth, sex
ism U brooding at an Incred
ible rate, as President Boris
Yeltsin deflects Secretary of
State Warren Christopher *
attempt to engage him in a
discussion of barriers to
trade in c hicken parts, say
ing. “President* don't do
chicken leg* If, however,
they were women * log* ”
And as American newspa
pers steer dear of remarks of
this nature this week, they
report that women have
greater tendencies to vote
lor the Democratic: Party.
Marion Hammer, the first
woman National Rifle Asso
ciation president, however,
does not vote like the major
ity of women She does not
favor ridding the nation of
all firearms, but rather of all
liberals
So this Earth Week, as
you remember all of the
stars in the galaxy and in
the public eye. feel free to
wonder if they would like a
little salt sprinkled on their
feet as they proceed on their
mission toward our planet’s
ftreat (and often not so great)
eaders* mouths
ML
-*» K«H » »*>
•ufcu'MtW i dituMHti
W&W* ** PWtiviT
of Mo^aAfiofsi
n no w*«i»sc
Wild Duck pub ‘working out the details’
I have never (nil compelled to writ* « letter to
• newspaper until i lead k*dl* Amtof««m »
WWW ol the Wild Duels toot. April in}
I (bund her juvenile name calling «n,l
«»dlms* complaining quit* borii» She com
plained about everything, but offered no solu
tion* She uy« thr Wild I Hr Is it a 'i nuh itwiw
In how not to design a brewery," but doe* not
mention try mg the bent at ail
If you were aspect tng * •» down dinner tlww,
than of course you would h*>* l*wn disappoint
ed. Out «M«tumBHtnt vmur It not a dinner thr
»>m it t* a dam* hail annexed to out restaurant
You tan alt down In out restaurant and ha we
dinner batons moving into tha venue to enjoy a
•how A *H down dinner show t» a groat idea,
and it i* something w* will consider doing in
tha futuro
I agrov that our seating arrangement is not the
bast in tha world, but it isn't jmminwK either
Understand that wa am a tuna stub and it will
taka a little time to work out all tha detail*
Many of our show* are standing room only, or
darn mg room only, so w* cannot odor seating
(or 300 people
t also understand that drinking good cognac
out of a plastis glass is like driving a BMW
down a logging road Wa do nut allow glass in
the venue for safety masons A slippery floor
coveted with broken glass presents a consider
able safety risk After finding that our venue was
not what tha expected had ! served Andersson
a double cognac in a glass snifter. I'm sure the
would have complained that it was half empty
She goes on to complain about the price of
drinks For the mathematically challenged, two
double cognacs means four full shots Seventeen
dollars divided by four is $4 IS per drink — cer
tainly a fair price for good cognac in any town
Andersson says ‘SI 7 dollars worth of alcohol
at Rennie s will get four people passed out
COMMENTARY
ijyiFrniiiFPm
under the table" If this U the kind of experience
you are iniewiwl in having. then call tne — I'll
buy the first round of drinks.
Thu break between music aets is normally half
an hour, but if the performer* run a little late,
the best we an do is politely mention to them
that it is time to take the stage The technical
difficulty that you think our sound man experi
enced that night was actually a blown fuse in
Duke Kobillafd't amp Guitar strings break and
fuses blow; these circumstances beyond our
control
Andersson churned that "in a past life, (the!
mixed sound for a rock 'n‘ roll band ~ Does this
appear on your resume? Did they believe it? If
so. lei me know Ai my next interview for a
pilot's Job. I may mention that I am type rated in
the space shuttle, and I've logged three lunar
landings
I am sorry you did not enjoy our artichoke
and pamtesan broad I would like to invite you
back to our restaurant for dinner We have some
groat entrees and sandwiches I'm sure you
could find something you would like — If you
would give us a second chance I would like to
buy your dinner and give you the opportunity to
•ample our beers
Mease do not let one had experience keen you
away If I had road one poorly written article in
the blew York Times business section. I would
not stop reading the whole paper
The Wild Duck has something for everybody
— a groat restaurant, a brew pub. and an enter
tainment venue Why else would I hear so many
people say. "Eugene has needed a place like this
for a tong time “
Hyland Bryant is a bartender at the WUd Duck
Software stealing
Sonja Sherwood thou Id know
the! computer software it the
“intellectual property" of the
author, whether that be a huge
multinational corporation such
at Microtoft or an individual
[ODE. April 15}
Stealing by the tubterfuge of
rental, or purchasing and return
ing is still stealing This same
mentality says it is OK to go to
Meier and Frank, buy a beauti
ful garment, wear that garment
to an important event, and then
return the garment However,
there are two added differences
Meier and Frank doesn't get the
restocking fee. and in the soft
ware rental scam, you simply
never return the garment
Sherwood said. 'Companies
like Microsoft lose thousands
every year to pirating.' The fig
ure is in the hundreds of mil'
Items lor Microsoft and in the bil -
lions for aU software companies
Without those losses, these com
panies would indeed be richer,
but a very large percentage of
those funds would go to employ
ees and toward improving their
company and products.
In addition, software cumpa
nies take these losses into
account in thetr product pricing
Themli**. innuinm pay tur the
product and fur those who steal
lit* product, raiiiag pricM and
causing the vary situation you
am complaining about
If Sherwood doesn't like tha
policies and pricing of the prod
ucta. than aba abouldn‘1 uw
them You could use one of the
many shareware desktop pub
luhing programs If you need the
latest version of PageMaker. then
pay tha author for the right to
use his property,
Robert L. Mctntoeb
President. ComSource
Auoctai#i. Inc