VIEWPOINTS
lOlTORUlS OPINIONS liTT«R$ TO THI IQITOR
U.S., Russian weapons
pact: handle with care
■ OUR OPINION: The
START ll nuclear weapons
treaty raises more
questions than it answers
The Senate made * mov«
in the right direction by rati*
fving the ".START II" treaty
ihat bans the United Stales
and Russia from having any
land-based nuclear weapons
with multiple warheads in
their arsenal*. The vote
comes three years after an
agreement was reached
between the Bush adminis
tration and Russia.
We can't throw a party
|ust yet. because Russia's
parliament hasn’t signed off
on the treaty.
Waiting wiih fingers
crossed. U.S. loaders are
concerned that if the Russ
ian legislature doesn't ratify
the weapon* Iran I adore
Russian President Boris
Yeltsin’s term is up in jane,
ratification could become a
Russian political campaign
chip, making passage of the
deal more difficult
'
As is the case with
doomsday entities such as
nuclear weaponry, even if
Russia does sign (he agree
ment. the world won't nec
essarily be a safer place to
live in.
One of the problems with
this agreement is that not all
of Russia's former satellite
states, having res ently sepa
rated themselves from
Mother Russia’s control, are
included in this arm*-reduc
tion deal.
Regions like the Ukraine
probably still have nuclear
weapons left over from
when the Soviet army was
in charge Who i* to keep
these desperate countries
from using these weapons,
or from selling or trading
them off to a country that
will?
It would be next Jo impos
sible to have some kind of
international team try lo
inspect all the potential
nuclear weapon hiding
plains throughout th« for
mer Soviet Union and
hiirojH? An effort like that
would amount to a frost rat
ing and dangerous search
for deadly needles in a
haystack
Kver since the war
induced tragedies of
Hiroshima and Nagasaki,
the United States and the
rest of the world have been
trying to put the nuclear
"genie" back in the bottle
Globally. just the opposite
is happening
As the United Stales and
Russia work to scale down
their nuclear arsenals {even
reducing their stockpiles
ahead of ihe START II
schedule), nations like
France continue to conduct
nuclear tests while China.
India and Iran are now
either fully nuclear capable
or in the process of becom
ing so
The increasing interna
tional fear (espoc tally in this
country) is that some wacko
terrorist group will finally
get a hold of a nut lear
device and blow a huge
number of innocent people
into the next world — all in
the service and name of
their cause or god
What if Timothy McVeigh
and his heartless, bumbling
cohort* had detonated a
nuclear bomb outside the
Oklahoma City f ederal
Building?
What if Saddam Hussein
had launched a nuclear
tipped Scud missile at Israel
during the Gulf War'
These are the kinds of
questions the START il
treaty begins to address We
t an only hope the answers
don't arrive loo late
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Sober duties for life’s drunken deliqhts
‘f will tmk<r It felony to drink unoll bmr.”
—William Shakrnpwarv in Henry VI, Part t!
I love beer 1 redly, really do And tequila —
Mptctelly tequila They are sooooo tasty
They're even better when you're able lo
share them with a lew good friend* (or a lew
hundred good friend*. *» the case may be)
You *it around tipping on * few tasty ones,
start feeling good, go do something stupid fa g ,
have a yodehng contest). tome back, dnnk some
more get really fust hnu kmred. talk about any
thing and everything, do some of that
male, female bonding crap, puke and then pass
out
ft * great, and then there * the added benefit of
having a Hangover. winch i* always a kick in the
jwnts The only thing that could be more fun
would I* a full blown root umal Of course,
there’s the ugly side of it, loo.
lust go to Gufdo’a on Mug Night You'll have
nightmare* for week* Had beer and drunken
grwrk* — you'll think you've died and gone
straight to collegiate hell
Rut tendmg bar l* my favorite activity. I don't
know why. I just get a lick out of it Perhaps it's
bw *um ! don't get to do it that often, and so it *
kind of a treat Pouring beef and wine, mixing
drinks, bantering with the customers it's great f
just hate having to cut people off when they
have had too much
You mm, titer*’* this lift la regulation set down
by the Oregon l iquor Control Commission
(OLCP that statiss that a vuihly intoxicated per
son aiM be served For all the other ways that
the OUX may be a moss of bureaucratic red
tape (much like this fine educational establish
rnent), it got one thing right It denies someone
who’s drunk mote alcohol.
t.ranted if you're in your home or the home
of a friend, ao what' Only your liver cares. But
in a public plate where you have to find a way
home. I snug bombed out of your mind is more
of a fat tor
Fortunately, having to cut people off doesn't
happen to me that often But when it doe*. It’s
almost always the same — whoever gets cut off
gets indignant a* hell
They demand (rather than ask) to be served
another drink They say they are fine, and they
could drive home without a problem
Maybe But I doubt it I tell them “no" again,
and they hit the tool Why do I believe they're
intoxicated' What the heii do i know? I'm just
soma stupid, college kid 'look at me: Pm per
fectly fine "
And then they start in with the sobriety tests
They lean their heads back and start to do the
finger-to-nose thing Their face* are red, and
their pupils dilated They're belligerent and
argumentative
Ifntmm Why. yes. Now that you’ve insulted
my intelligence, questioned my lodgment, and
have bon?) an overall unpleasant person. I do
1*1 save you are completely sober Here, have
another drink Cuervo double
shot with a boor chaser fol
lowed by a Lon# Island Iced
Tea? Certainly, here you go. No
wait. Why not take the whole
bottle7 You ran obviously han
dle ft. What was I thinking'
You? drunk? 1 must have been
high on crock.
The primary reason that peo
ple who are cut off act the way
they do is because they are
embarrassed They've had loo
much. and they're no longer in control it) ihmI
social situations, no out* wants to admit that he
or she has had too much to drink, much loss b«?
told it, llems*. they get embarrassed, indignant
and argumentative,
A word oi ad view If you're in a situation
whom you have boon cut off, accept it. The more
you a.-guo. the less likely u is that you'll get any
thing from the person serving you Just he cool,
deal with it Don't make an ass of yourself
Cutting pit Mad with the guys/gal* it fun If it
weren't *ui h a blast, we wouldn't do it Ye*.,
Iiotiie is a social lubruant, and when you're
swimming in it, you'll tell people things you
normally wouldn't
Among friends, that isn't such a bad thing.
Among a bunch of yahoos you don't know, how
ever. it's not the most brilliant of ideas
Which bads me to the preachy part
Don't drive drunk Heal plain Real simple
Call a friend, a Iasi, or the ASUO 'Drunk
tank” shuttle at 346-0H21 (clip It out and put It
In your wallet) If you drive while intokii^ted.
you stand a good chance of either killing your
self or someone else or both
If you want to kill yourself, do every one a big
lavor and go play with a toaster in the bathtub
Also, don't lose control around people you don't
know You never know what kind of sic k
weirdo* might be around
Many a rapist has attacked a woman who is
too drunk to defend herself. Of course, in a per
fect world women wouldn't have to worry about
defending themselves, but this world is far from
perfect To men: watch out for these women If
thin re getting too soused keep .1 wan hfut eye
on them Just in case.
Enough already with the doom and gloom.
Eat, drink and he merry. Very merry Alcohol
ran lie great fun. but it's also a drug Don't be an
idiot, and don't abuse it
/esse / Bohrvr Ctancy. a senior ma/onng m bio
chriittiin , 1* a columnist for the Emerald B tnatl
ibt lancy&gfaduantf uorvgon edit