EDITORIALS OPINIONS LETTERS TO TMt EDITOR
State chases big items
to bring tourism bucks
■ OUR OPINION: II >t s b q
Oegon siumbtes all over
dseif lo obiam tt
Wnlcome to Oregon, land
of Mime really big stuff
Although Texas ha* noth
log to worry about os the
state that boast* of larger
than-llfe everything, it
M«ma Oregon ha* been try
ing it* lie*t to compete
We have Higfool, big
mountains with big forests,
big cowboy s who go to big
Monster Truck shows in
their own big-wheeled
truck* (with big gun racks),
wearing big hats We have
big education cuts, big con
troversies. and even big
politician Gordon Smith
(he's tall).
Kememlier Howard Hugh
es' "Spruce Goose"? That
monstrous seaplane (the
largest in the known uni
verse) has always had an
aversion io actually (lying —
who care*? It's BIG
The Goose user! to live in
Southern California next to
the big and famous luxury
cruise ship, the Queen
Mary, Apparently, enough
Oregon aviation enthusiasts
and corporate sponsors col
lected the necessary big bags
of money and pul togeilier a
successful bid lo bring the
big bird to the Northwest.
Recently, after months of
methodically taking the air
plane apart and carefully
transporting it up the West
Goast, the Goose was given a
mnv home in Mr Minnville.
Ore The move was. well, a
big one.
But why bring it up here?
Well, tourism, and obvi
ously a desire by some Ore
gonians to attract attention
to our state by bringing in as
■ iiiti.iii
things a* is physically (and
financially) possible
This brings us to H»‘H* and
Oregon** c urrenl {and gigan
tic) water bated m (position.
» bihwtioth killer whale
named Kelko
Kelko. the Hollywood *!ar
of Frm Willy and Free Willy
2, (mm a me an overnight
celebrity and animal rights
poster child after it was dis
covered that the mammal
was actually quite sick and
living in less-than-ideal con
ditions in Mexico City
Regardless of how pathet
ic the poor black and white
whale must feel, we wonder
about the statistical chances
of successfully rehabilitat
ing him.
We hope Kelko's health
can be restored during his
outpatient stay In Newport,
but we also wonder what
kind of bewildering ques
tions might be going
through the amiable urea's
mind,
"Whet fun! I still have
this nover-say-die low-grade
fever end upset stomach,
and now they're gonna send
mo up to some place called
Ory-gon. Great1 Why can't
anyone |usl take the hint
that all I need is a fresh sea
lion dinner, and the heat
turned down in this hot lub!
I have had it up to my
blowhole with this Mexican
sauna Maybe these humans
up north will know- how to
read a temperature gauge
and understand that as a
cold water mammal. I NEED
It) BE IN COLD WATER TO
SURVIVE'
After an airplane ride
aboard a big UPS airplane,
Keiko is now happily swim
ming about in a brand new
$7 million pool (yes, it's
big) What Oregon needs
now ts the l archness Mon
ster, an NE'E team with big
players, another big movie
with big stars, a dead alien
with a big head, a big
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Capitol kitchen: Hillary takes the heat
I suppose i could have staved homo and
haked i ookle* " These ware the tan a*tn;
word* of a defiant Hillary Rodham Clinton
during the J992 t>l« tion Angered by the
nation'* assumption that she would be another
tjuiet. doting spouw. Clinton made it dnar that
she wanted to tie known lor her domestic policy
rather than her domestic prowess
She would he a new First lastly
The trademarks of her predecessor* — Bar
bara's pearl* and Nanc y‘i paste — were not
going to be the symbols this woman would be
known for
She would be the first First Lady who had a
lamer independent of her husband *. She would
exude strength and confidence like none of her
predecessors For this, for breaking the mold of
what a First Lady should lie. Clinton would be
punished mercilessly
Turn on the TV, and there's Phil Gramm
explaining why the First Lady doesn't know her
plai»
Turn on the radio ami there* I he mala caller
laughing with ih» male host about what punish
nient II must !*> for Hill to steep with the bitch
The puna on late night proliferate like some
twisted reincarnation of bad I3*n Qua vie gike*
Q Why doesn't Hillary wear miniskirts'
A Beta use her halls would show
This Week * punishment tomes in the manu
factured "controversy" of Trevelgate
The intu.istn supposedly stem* from newly
released doc ument* that suggest the Find lady
played a central role in the firings of several
White Mouse travel office employees in 1003
llii* contradict* Clinton's previous claim that
she was not directly involved with the dis
missals
'Vow , what a revelation The First lady may
have actually fired travel agents Few this grave
sin. Clinton is again being roasted by the critical
flame of partisan critique in this election year
Newsweek implies wrongdoing in its cover
"IlilUry. saint or sinner'
Conservative columnist William Satire, m his
essay "Hlitxard of lies,” argue* passionately
that “our First Lady i* a congenital liar."
This so-called scandal it not about presenting
the truth hi about exaggerating the importance
of meaningless White House dismissals It's
about punishing the First Lady for daring to be
more It * about an American an slaty over
women who possess ambition, vision and
power
In the tall of 1999 Clinton exhibited her
exceptional intelligence by clearly articulating
the health-care plan for 300 tomato* of Con
■
ous First lady hat omupted the center stage w
aggressively or disarmed her critic * more *ff»*
lively “
She was instrumental in the nomination and
appointment of the first female attorney general,
lane! Reno While attending the Women's Con
ference in Beijing last summer. Clinton involved
herself in a country where diplomatic relations
are highly sensitive
0P1WIQW
In tin* meantime. she has
dealt with the death of hor
father, Higgled her rote* as
mother and w ife and contin
ued to deny the persistent
rumors in Washington that she
is a lesbian
Then came the Republican
sweep of MHM, and Clinton *
experiment was over Hor
actions would have to lie muz
sled if her husband were to
viiuf tn a sm umi utnn
Clinton inuwwnl her appearam os with
Chelsea and passed out homemade < ooktes at
!ht> next Dftrru*. rain: convention Meanwhile,
her advocacy vlufled to lause* that were mure
palatable to American tastes Health > are was
traded in for breast >inner and women in devel
oping nation*
La*t Killing. Clinton (teamed a* she o|>orted the
newly refurbished White House Blue Room to
th» prow, saying that the room, with it* satin
draperies and silk upholstery, was her new
favorite
loday. in her weekly newspaper column.
Hillary Clinton sounds more like the redecorat
tng |iu kie Kennedy and leas like the reforming
hluanor Roosevelt Her New Year's resolutions
l o keep the same hairdo for at least 30 days"
and “try to show more enthusiasm for my bus
band # golf game ”
This is the woman who was twice named one
of the country's top too lawyers
No America. Mrs Clinton did not suddenly
develop an interest m crocheting bonnets and
churning butter without a reason The First
I^dy is politically savvy enough to realise that
ih«? pru tt of her will alway* bt*
paid by her husband in political capital
And so. in this year's election, don't expect to
see the redefined version of the First lady on
the campaign trail No more sarcastic flip* about
laying at home and baking cookies
lit November count on seeing our First lady
with flour on her face and pot holders on her
hand* Her vision and ambition wilt not be dis
played Through the bombardment of jokes,
rumors and scandals this country ha* finally
made d dear to Mrs Clinton where her "place”
is redecorating, cooking and standing by her
husband The First Udy will be where sha
belongs
Keith Cunningham, a senior motoring in English,
is a columnist for the Emerald