EDITORIALS. OPINIONS. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
ASUO pushes for pub
but idea will fall flat
■ OUR OPINION: A
proposed pub wouldn't
work at the University for a
number of good reasons
So, ASUO is thinking
about starting up a privately
owned pub in the KMU that
would bring needed funds
to student government?
(Loud laughter in ba< k
g round.)
Ok. ok, ok. ()K’ Seriously
now (i’l.KASK try to stop
laughing - and wipe that
smirk off vour fare), we
want to get this straight.
The ASUO is proposing
an on e ampus. University
sane tinned micro brewery
that would give students a
place to buy a drink or two
Ber ause of University poli
t ies, the pub would have to
enfori e a strii t rule limiting
the number of drinks per
( ustomer to keep people
from becoming inebriated.
Huh? Isn't that one of the
purposes oi going 10 it oar
Not always, of course, lint
we think a lot people drink
later with the hope of at
least getting a little buzz
The l-.Mt1 pub would need
to have a highly trained stall
stationed in every corner of
the establishment, ready to
pounce on and usher out
any customer that looked as
d they were even thinking
about getting loopy
The pub might even be
wildly sure essful. for about
a day or two. thanks in part
to the popularity of a new
Mountain juir e" brew th.it
the pub apparently has
plans to introduce The pub
wouldn't be able to keep up
with the demand for their
hot now drink until "Moun
tain |ui< e" buyers, predomi
nately gin s, found out one
of the main ingredients was
a testosterone inhibitor.
Out hypothesis over the
hypothetical "Ml” beer
c omes from a statement
made by Zachary Kelton.
ASUO vice pres idem!. Kel
ton (old an Emerald reporter
[ODE. Oct. 3!) (hat certain
campus populations, espe
cially women, had com
plained to him about there
not being a plac e to go that
"wasn't a meat market
Thus, the Emerald's expert
panel of molecular sc ientists
c ame tip with a tasty hor
mone formula that takes the
wolf out of the boy by low
ering the old ”T" level
Can you imagine* what the
c ost of one beer would be at
this 'student-friendly’’ brew
pub? With only a spec died
number {trust us. it would
be a way low number) of
lasers allowed per c ustomer,
they would have to charge a
hefty pric e for each pull of
the tap lever just to make a
profit
"lb there. I'd like a tall
glass of that MJ‘ stuff
please.”
"Here vou go That’ll be
five bucks."
uu< h!
And I hen ilium's tin* prob
lem of corning up with a
suitable name for tins pro
posed drinkery How about
Drinking 101the "No
Fun Pub," the "No Suds
Pub," the “Dud Pub," the
"I- Pub." the "Almost brew
and Pub," or the "NDA Pub"
(No Drinking Allowed Pub)?
So. a pub that rations its
drinks, is expensive, frowns
on its customers mingling
with the opposite sex, and
has a goofy name for a busi
ness sounds about as
much fun as a bad movie on
a bad date
ASUO gets an A" for ere
ativity, but we think tllev'll
have to come up w ith a dif
ferent idea to make some
money.
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BEW6 PEQCS'^O
^ AS A SEtiStBLE
a moderate.
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TUtKIWCAMt 70 .
TML Ci&wr PLACE k
Tears in America: Why can’t men emote?
• ;v> i tunny thing outside the limin', lilt*
other day There was Mom. I hid. little sister
I and the "I of () Parents" bumper sticker
•^L.itt.ii bed to the minivan Big brother was
hugging everyone goodbye Wall, actually he
hugged little sister and Mom Dad got a buddy
slug on the shoulder and a wink
Dad hurried into the driver s seat. But Mont
and little sister weren't done They looked at
Dad as he looked away, and it sinmed as though
everyone was engaged in a holy ritual that was
about to reai h its < nmpletion Before 1 knew it.
Morn and little sister had staked their claims to
lug brother's arm, and rivers of tears flowed
down his sleeve As the minivan pulled away,
big brother mustered the strongest face he could.
He didn't shed a tear. I guess that was his part in
the ritual
We know tin* behavior we
are expected to display when
sadness strikes us We also
know there is a stark differ
eiu e between what is ICi epted
emotional behavior for men
and for women These reflexes
tell us that in times of sorrow
women are allowed to grieve
and weep, while men must
stand by as emotionless, stat
uesque figures
OPINION
CtlfMIQtBni
' I’ve
survey You should give it a try Go to any male
you know and ask him when was the last time
he cried.
One friend told me that he last cried when lus
dog died 1 guess that's an okay thing for guvs to
cry about Anther friend said he thought he
might have cried when he fell off his bike at age
t- One guy told me "I don’t cry 1 don't know
why, hut I just can’t " (Ian you hear the collet -
live inner-child crying here? I knew I should
have taken more psyi hologv t lasses
For me, the last time the ducts filled up. 1 was
at a funeral for a 13-year-old boy who had died
of leukemia after a nine-year battle. Cameron
Bradley was the son of my high school tennis
t oat h 1 met (Cameron several years ago w hen he
tame to watch our tennis matches with his mom
and older brother. At that time Cameron was in
the middle of his battle with the illness. Some
days he would arrive at the courts with hair on
his head, and other days the chemotherapy had
mowed away the follicles that were trying to
sprout.
I can still picture him standing by his older
brother watching the big boys ploy tennis. Wide
eyes of interest went back and forth with the
tennis balls. After the matches, the Bradleys
would picnic together, away from the rest of the
world and free from the dark thoughts of what
lh« future would inevitably bring.
11 an only imagine the grief the family must
hove endured as his mother, father and older
brother watched Cameron fadeaway.
And so when I went to Cameron's funeral on
the day after his body had sought out the peace
it so desperately deserved, l expected everyone
to exhibit the same emotions 1 was feeling
In comparison to thu tearful reactions of the
men and women who had known Cameron
closely, a giant e at the rest of the people told a
different story The women t ried continuously,
perhaps entertaining thoughts of some tragedy
striking their own children. Cameron's class
mates wept just as often, maybe thinking about
the days they used to play, touch and laugh
with Cameron But when I looked at the fathers,
the men of the audience, 1 saw stone faces 1 saw
men putting their arms around their wives,
offering hankies and looking very “strong" in
the process
1 have to admit that these a< < ounts were
somew hat blurred by the but kets of tears that
were clouding my own eyes The whole servo «■
was woven together with songs from Cameron's
favorite Disney movies The funeral opened
with the theme from Aladdin, "A Whole New
World By the time the woman had sung, "1 urn
show you a world Shining. Shimmering.
Splendid. 1 was a wreck Thoughts of a world
where a child spends tt of his t:f years suffering
from leukemia devastated me.
1 know I wasn't the only adult male who was
Mrui k l»> this siirvid' Whv then did I see no
other man crying with me?
We live in a culture that defines crying as an
indulgence that men are prohibited from enjoy
ing The Greeks, who established cathartic
expression as an integral element of the human
condition, knew the danger of disallowing these
tears. At times of pain, no human should lx*
denied this emotional release
1 walked out of that church feeling sad and
tired, yet relieved. The dry-eved men, who
obeyed the mandates of their culture, left the
service carrying the heavy emotional baggage
that every other mourner had been allowed to
drop This is a gender oriented burden that 1
refuse to bear
Call me a wuss. I don’t care If the price of not
taking part in this destructive ritual is Iwing told
that I’m “just too sensitive," fine When the time
comes when 1 am in pain or am overwhelmed
with emotion, you can save the stoicism for
someone else. I'll keep crying.
Keith Cunningham, a senior majoring in English,
is a columnist for the Emerald