- Oregon Doih Emerald S ports - The Olympics: Guns, thugs, luge, suicide etc. Ill pist o few (fays, the Winter Olympu s tiegm They promise to I*1 just as t'M itmg and mem orable as the last winter C.ames. which were held in Butte. Mont in 1975. "Kxciting" and "memorable'’ evoke images of the Olympics, but the best phrase to dosi ribe the Winter C.ames is Are they over vet ’" People do not go around saving, '’That yv.is a par ticularly fine Olympics" or "I w as not overly fond of this year's Olympics " This is because the Olympics, lasting more than two weeks, are a profoundly long event that air on television, a medium for people with pro foundly short attention spans. Kveryono but prison inmates. Oi cup.mts of retirement homes and sportsvvriters won’t have tune or energy to follow all ol the in turn I nlike us Olympic 'cognoscenti, you may need help keeping up with what's going on Here's a primer Norway: Home ol the l'OH Olympic Games Located on the Norwegian Sea. its leading indus tries1 include petroleum, fishing and mining Interestingly enough. Norway also boasts one ol the world’s largest populations ol Norwegians l.illehammer: Host t ity for the 1994 games. What does “l.illehammer" mean in Norwegian? Perhaps a sentence would be illustrative "Ya Olaf, you use de l.illeham mer for de lillenail an' de bigge hainmer for de biggenail Luge: Like many sports in the Winter Games, luge is not real big in the United States What's luge like1' Imagine dm mg your i ar down an icy mountain road Now imagine lot king up your brakes St on Simonson in order to skid down the road uith a minimum of control Now imagine that, instead of skidding down the 11 \ road in s our i ar. it's |ust s ou skidding down the i< s road on a piece ol metal about the sue of sour car's ashtray that's strapped to sour butt It s authentic competition at it's finest I.uge i an lie kind of i ool to watch, though, if for no other reason than sou can sas luge all the tune Luge is ubiquitous is a part of speec h It's a noun I Luge is grossing in popularity in Amer ii a More than five people in the United States compete m the spurt every year I It's a verb ( At the speeds those racers reach in turn three Boh, it svould he all a normal human could do to hold on. and most of us svould luge in our undershorts ") Ice hockey: Breathtaking dis plays of power, grai e. skill and speed that oc< asionally are marred hv the violent antii s of thugs w ith sticks Women's figure skating: See K.L UOCKKV Ski jumping: This involves fls trig off a cliff as fast as you i an and falling a long was The only different e between this and sui cide is that sou get to svear skis Aerodynamic s: ( Tenting the ssmd is a recurring theme in events throughout the (.nines roor aerodynamics can cost a skier or speed skaters the hun dredths of mi unds I hill i an lie the difference between victory and defeat To gain an aerodvnamu edge r.u ers wear IkhI\ hugging, s|wt e age fabm s developed with extern sue research ana modern tech nologv with names like l.w.ra. Spandex. neoprene, polyprope iene. vasoione and butane Itiathalon I Ins combines two great sport-- i ross-i ountry ski mg and discharging firearms It's thi* onl> Olympic event (hat sou mis like it was invented In an advertising firm for o light beet ( ampaign Wouldn't it lie great d you ( mild ( russ t ountry ski imp.thtm when you get tired voti could (list lie down lor i while and shoot things w ith a gun ' Athalon I he National Rille Asms lation has Is-en lohhying for this event lor years Its i mss i ountrs skiing .nut target shoot ing without < ross i ountrv skiing And instead of those wimpy rifles, the competitors tin1 those semi automata twines that are so popular with sport hunters ()ne moit< important different e l lllike other (Jlvmpii events, the w tuners get their medals w ith no waiting period .Scot/ Simonson is o sports rrpiirter for thr Kmerald Center suspended lunior ( enter Zac h Sellers will join junior guard Hrton Smith on the sidelines lor Oregon's game with Oregon State Saturday alter being sus pended from the team, head coach Jerry Oreen announced Wednesday "I have suspended Ztich tor the Oregon State game for failure to meet the team's a< a demic requirements." Oreen said 'We ll miss him or S.ii urtlux Smith remains indefi nitely suspended alter In- was suspended last week lor dis ciplinary reasons Smith has not prnctu ed w ith the team sim e he was suspended and w ill not make the trip to Cor vallis w ith the team Sellers w ill make the trip to Corvallis, hot will he in street clothes. ty<¥i 'lltale WUa Steel 'tjou'i Jleasd Away show just how much you care with a beautiful Valentine's bouquet S»*ul tfou/i & tumid*: • FTD Spot in My Heart ' Bouquet * Hearts & Darts Exotics » Tu lips & Lace * Hugs & Kisses * Beauty & the Beast Don V Wioi/ - Order Today! Eugene s Flower Home THE UNIVERSITY FLORIST 610 E. 13th at Patterson • 485-3655 Owner* are l of () alumni ^ Prolruton4l Do we capture your interest? The Oregon Daily Emerald is looking for an energetic and creative student with an eye for capturing news, sports and feature assignments to fill a staff photographer position. THE FINE PRINT ^ tt you possess these skills and you're interested in gaming vatu able e»peoence on a daily newspaper. the photo department is interested in you Stop lay the Emerald office Monday Friday and fill out and appti cation and submit dips of wort For more information, caf! Mfchael Shmdter at 346-SSI t tVudtme is Friday. Feb 16 at bp m Spring Quarter Registration starts February 21! • Uncertain how the recent changes in general requirements apply to you? • Need help choosing courses? • Concerned about finding the right major? • Other academic concerns? Avoid the rush! Schedule your appointment or drop in for advising now. Office of Academic Advising and Student Services 164 Oregon Hall • 346-3211 Appointments or drop-in hours: 8:30- 4:30 Mon.-Fri.