- Oregon Doih Emerald S ports -
The Olympics: Guns, thugs, luge, suicide etc.
Ill pist o few (fays, the Winter
Olympu s tiegm They promise
to I*1 just as t'M itmg and mem
orable as the last winter C.ames.
which were held in Butte. Mont
in 1975.
"Kxciting" and "memorable'’
evoke images of the Olympics,
but the best phrase to dosi ribe
the Winter C.ames is Are they
over vet ’" People do not go
around saving, '’That yv.is a par
ticularly fine Olympics" or "I w as
not overly fond of this year's
Olympics " This is because the
Olympics, lasting more than two
weeks, are a profoundly long
event that air on television, a
medium for people with pro
foundly short attention spans.
Kveryono but prison inmates.
Oi cup.mts of retirement homes
and sportsvvriters won’t have
tune or energy to follow all ol the
in turn I nlike us Olympic
'cognoscenti, you may need help
keeping up with what's going on
Here's a primer
Norway: Home ol the l'OH
Olympic Games Located on the
Norwegian Sea. its leading indus
tries1 include petroleum, fishing
and mining Interestingly enough.
Norway also boasts one ol the
world’s largest populations ol
Norwegians
l.illehammer: Host t ity for the
1994 games.
What does “l.illehammer"
mean in Norwegian? Perhaps a
sentence would be illustrative
"Ya Olaf, you use de l.illeham
mer for de lillenail an' de bigge
hainmer for de biggenail
Luge: Like many sports in the
Winter Games, luge is not real big
in the United States What's luge
like1' Imagine dm mg your i ar
down an icy mountain road Now
imagine lot king up your brakes
St on Simonson
in order to skid down the road
uith a minimum of control
Now imagine that, instead of
skidding down the 11 \ road in
s our i ar. it's |ust s ou skidding
down the i< s road on a piece ol
metal about the sue of sour car's
ashtray that's strapped to sour
butt It s authentic competition
at it's finest I.uge i an lie kind of
i ool to watch, though, if for no
other reason than sou can sas
luge all the tune
Luge is ubiquitous is a part of
speec h It's a noun I Luge is
grossing in popularity in Amer
ii a More than five people in the
United States compete m the
spurt every year I It's a verb ( At
the speeds those racers reach in
turn three Boh, it svould he all a
normal human could do to hold
on. and most of us svould luge in
our undershorts ")
Ice hockey: Breathtaking dis
plays of power, grai e. skill and
speed that oc< asionally are
marred hv the violent antii s of
thugs w ith sticks
Women's figure skating: See
K.L UOCKKV
Ski jumping: This involves fls
trig off a cliff as fast as you i an
and falling a long was The only
different e between this and sui
cide is that sou get to svear skis
Aerodynamic s: ( Tenting the
ssmd is a recurring theme in
events throughout the (.nines
roor aerodynamics can cost a
skier or speed skaters the hun
dredths of mi unds I hill i an lie the
difference between victory and
defeat
To gain an aerodvnamu edge
r.u ers wear IkhI\ hugging, s|wt e
age fabm s developed with extern
sue research ana modern tech
nologv with names like l.w.ra.
Spandex. neoprene, polyprope
iene. vasoione and butane
Itiathalon I Ins combines two
great sport-- i ross-i ountry ski
mg and discharging firearms It's
thi* onl> Olympic event (hat
sou mis like it was invented In an
advertising firm for o light beet
( ampaign Wouldn't it lie great
d you ( mild ( russ t ountry ski
imp.thtm when you get tired voti
could (list lie down lor i while
and shoot things w ith a gun '
Athalon I he National Rille
Asms lation has Is-en lohhying for
this event lor years Its i mss
i ountrs skiing .nut target shoot
ing without < ross i ountrv skiing
And instead of those wimpy
rifles, the competitors tin1 those
semi automata twines that are so
popular with sport hunters
()ne moit< important different e
l lllike other (Jlvmpii events, the
w tuners get their medals w ith no
waiting period
.Scot/ Simonson is o sports
rrpiirter for thr Kmerald
Center suspended
lunior ( enter Zac h Sellers
will join junior guard Hrton
Smith on the sidelines lor
Oregon's game with Oregon
State Saturday alter being sus
pended from the team, head
coach Jerry Oreen announced
Wednesday
"I have suspended Ztich tor
the Oregon State game for
failure to meet the team's a< a
demic requirements." Oreen
said 'We ll miss him or S.ii
urtlux Smith remains indefi
nitely suspended alter In- was
suspended last week lor dis
ciplinary reasons Smith has
not prnctu ed w ith the team
sim e he was suspended and
w ill not make the trip to Cor
vallis w ith the team
Sellers w ill make the trip to
Corvallis, hot will he in street
clothes.
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