DATING
Continued from Page 1
women) don't go out witli (blank
mmt) because they truly like
them. The only reason some
white women no out with blank
men i-> becauso of curiosity."
The pressure from family,
friends and "people staring at
you pist walkin' down the
street." Davis said, nan be
enough to destroy on intorrai.ial
relationship if it is not based on
genuine feelings
"It sometimes feels like the
whole world is coming dow n at
you," Davis said
Although Davis and his girl
friend rarely turn heads while
walking down the street here at
the University. Mvruk does
recall being harassed several
times for her relationship with
Davis
"Clno and I were walking
along the street from Powell's
Bookstore (In Portland) Some
one tried to spit on me from .1
car that was driving by." Mvru k
said Myrink, a senior at Clove
land High School in Portland,
has also been taunted bv some of
her him k < lassmates for dating
Davis.
Becjiuse of these separate in< i
denls, Davis believes it takes a
stronger person to lx* m an inter
racial relationship "
"Mindy has to compromise
more," he said. "She has to
understand more because she s
trying to learn about lilac,k cul
ture "
Davis also believes that
Myrick's efforts at trying to
understand black culture lias
helped the relationship prosper
Davis theorizes that if he were
white and Myrick were black,
societal opposition to his rela
tionship would be even greater
"I would get more crap I think
whites would be a lot more
opposed to a white man dating a
lilac.k woman." he said Bee ause
white men an1 normally not vic
tims of racism, "if I were a white
man, it would be n lug change
las ause it would be the first time
I'd tie discriminated against" for
going out with a blac k woman.
Davis said
Yet Hill Jennings' relationship
with a Vietnamese woman clash
es with Davis' I relief that it would
fw» worse for a while man to go
out with a person of color than
a minority going out with a (Cau
casian woman.
Jennings is white, and his
exponent es with an Asian girl
friend suggest that his interrat lal
relationship was not as tahoo as
Davis '
"We occasionally got stares
from older Americans, but we
were never harassed while we
were in Eugene." he said
Jennings doesn't know whether
he would Ik; harassed outside of
Eugene because he and his girl
friend never left the city togeth
er Jennings anti his girlfriend
dated for about six months, hut
had to break it off beta use she
is studying in France this year
Jennings is interested in Asian
cultures, lie wants to someday
teach English in Japan, then t ome
back to the United States and
teach Japanese l.ike Davis, Jen
nings has learned much by being
in an interracial relationship
I learned a lot about Asian
culture, different customs, and
how we were brought up differ
ently I saw a lot of respet t for
elders and snpui mrv That respect
really lacks in American six lety."
he said
Mill lifll Tan and Susanna Stef
fans have fa< ed the same types of
pressures ns Davis and Myrick
but with a different twist Tan
and Steffens are both interna
tional students studying hen* in
the United States Tan is from
Singapore, on«i Steffens is from
Norway
Being two foreigners in the
United States seems to have boon
the only bond the two shared
when they l*"gnn seeing each oth
er last June Steffens says that, at
first, she knew nothing about
Tan's i ultore or language
Non . Tan leaches Steffens the
Chinese language, which is made
up of more than one dialer t
I-earning the language helps Stef
fens learn about Tan s culture.
From language to culture to
food. Tan and Steffens have had
to compromise "Mitchell eats
very Chinese," Steffens remarked
' But I am adjusting to her style
— eating bland.” Tan jokingly
responded "Susanne's not used
to spicy food. I'm slowly expos
ing her to (Chinese food "
Tan and Steffens' ability to
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compromise, communicate and
their sheer will to make it work
has helped them overcome the
ot.tesional stares trained at them
while in Eugene, peer skepticism
toward their relationship, and
familial opposition
"My mom doesn't like it She
felt really insecure of having to
deal with someone from a differ
ent culture For the older gener
ation, they still hold old
stereotypes of hla< ks. whites and
other Asians," Tan said
Tan also said there are plenty
of cross-cultural marriages
between Indians. Chinese and the
few whites who live in Singa
pore.
"Many of these ( Asian-Asian
marriages) art* also opposed, hut
not as opposed as Asian-white
marriages." he said "Because
Asians have the same color, so it
wouldn't be minded as much.
Language is the only barrier
between two different Asian
groups."
Tan has also had to deal with
friends who doubt whether he is
going out with Steffens for the
right reasons.
"Some of them believe that I'm
only going out with her because
it 's some sort of status symbol to
he with a white woman." Tan
said.
Steffens has also had to con
tend with the stereotypes that her
family and friends hold of Tan
and his culture.
"My father wants me to get
married to a European. Howev
er, my mother is more liberal
about it," Steffens said
Tan has never met Steffens'
parents, hut has occasionally spo
ken to her father when he's called
from Norway.
"Both my parents think it
won't lust,” said Steffens, who
plans to move to Singapore with
Tan after graduation. "They think
that Singapore is very backward.
They also beiievo that women are
put down there, so I won't lx; able
to find a good job It's just igno
rance alwnit his country."
But the strongest reaction Stef
fens received was from her
friends in Oslo.
"I feel like my friends looked
at me differently," she said
"They asked me. 'How can you
go out with a Chinese?’ They
were surprised because growing
up, wo always had the same
tastes in boys. They couldn't
imagine themselves going out
with a Chinese person, so how
could I?' "
And what would happen if
Tun were to visit Norway, as he
plans to after graduation7
"1 think my friends and fami
ly would lx) very reserved.” Stef
fens said "It would be very
different for them because there
are none or very few Chinese (in
Norway) They wouldn't lx- nu ist
— just ignorant."
The more family and friends
oppose or doubt Tan ami Stef
fens' relationship, the closer the
two have become. Because they
are both in a foreign country,
there are times when they liter
ally have only each other.
"The fact we’re in a foreign
country has been very positive,"
Steffens said. "It's something that
links us We're both very far away
from home, and sometimes we
miss home. Mitch understands
An American wouldn't."
"It's different being in a cross
cultural relationship, but it
keeps it interesting. We're simi
lar in that we both like chal
lenges. We are very optimistic
about things, and we are work
ing hard ti make it work," she
said.