OPINION
So. Cal. man is looking for love in all the wrong places
Hell hath no fury like an
ego bruised Some of
you ttiav remember niv
column a few weeks ago about
Mr So (ail . who plat ed a long
personal ad in our paper He
seeks a blonde, blue-eyed col
lege student, no baggage, no fat
chicks 1 wrote that he is "just
the kind of smarmy fool that
indicates how plnstit our cul
ture can be" and encouraged
you to send photos of obese
women to his Newport Beach
address
It seems that I've impressed
Mr So Cal. He's fallen in love
with me Read for yourself the
reply that ho faxed us (in the
ODE letters today) What a
charming guv lust the kind of
Lia Saickcia
dude I can imagine starting a
family with
In a nutshell, he's proved
himself to he nil of the things I
thought about him when I first
saw the nd n wannabe God's
gift, sexist and disillusioned
beyond salvation.
Let's examine his reply to my
column First, he uses a classic
mnk< chauvinist tw hninue Call
ing iiiv digs at his supposed
manhood a plov to "discourage
your aim [i«*t it ion he interprets
ills distaste to t>e a thinly veiled
statement of my burning desire
for him
Then he moves on to oven
more trite generalizations of my
personality By writing that my
tone was "bitchy” (gee, I would
have (ailed it "playful") and
claiming that the bitchiness was
yet another cover-up for niv
throbbing sexual fantasies about
him He reveals n truly sexist
fat et of his nature It says that
anger in women is Ok as long as
it can he redm ed to something
sexual How many times have
we seen piglet men, be they in
the movies or in real life, use the
word "feisty" to desi rihe a
woman with bruins7
Mr So Cal . I'm so glad that
feisty women make you hot ft
pleases me that you an* so smit
ten with me that you call mo a
bitch It's sweet of you to
aeknow ledge rnv education, and
I can always apprwi iate a man
who < an find the Freudian refer
ences in my prose
Hut I'm going to have to turn
down your ( harming offer You
see. while you may get turned
on by feisty, bitchy women, the
idea of dating a man w ho could
be my father revolts me. And
although an expenses paid
spring break in Newport Boot h
sounds fun. it doesn't sound
\ erv fun ml dud to the notion of
sleeping with you
However. sine e appearances
.ire so important to you and I
kind of like you for providing
imi with so much material. I
hove roplrti ed my "girlish pic:
tore" with one more womanly,
one with whu h 1 dearly hope
will both win your approval and
discourage my competitors
Oh, and sorry, I won't be
bleac lung mv hair anytime soon,
not for you or any other man
I ni happy to sav that it's going
to remain as brown as the crap
you are full of.
I.id Salciccui is ci columnist
for the Kmerald.
LETTERS
He’s back!
What a clever wav to capture
my heart1 Write a si athmg cri
tique of mv tongue and t heek
personal ad and head it with
vour girlish picture I'm Haltered
you used your whole column to
discourage your competition. It
you can't have me, no one else
will!
I can tell by your ''bitchy"
tone that you are already fanta
sizing about our possible rela
tionship. Feisty women get me
hot! I'm seriously interested.
You’re obviously educated
and maybe you can bleach your
hair for me. Love your cute and
not-too-subtle Freudian refer
ence to mv "lovely six-inch ad
Looking forward to meeting
you at spring? break
So Cal. Man
Newport Beach, Calif.
Trash
This is m response to an ini i
dent reported in last Thursday's
police beat regarding the van
dalized University trash tan
According to the report, the
trash (dii w.is destroyed iiiul
damages amounted lo $700
Wow , $700! For it trash i an?
Ii |usl goes to show volt wlutro
tin* University's priorities are
Despite all of Ballot Measure Vs
budget t uts it certainly is com
forting to know we can still
afford $700 trash cans By the
way, they ore all over the cam
pus. I can't even begin to imag
ine how mui h the total on the
bill came to.
Robert Shlgeta
Student
Speedy
The new Uniform Bail Sched
ule was promulgated by the Ore
gon Supreme Court pursuant to
OKS 1 r>20(:t) The complete list
is in the Oregon Appellate
Courts Advance Sheets 1994, »l
Interested readers can find it in
the law school library My per
sonal favorite is 66 mph in a 65
mph zone — $ UN
These new fines are complete
ly unreasonable In my opinion,
the\ clearly violate Article 1.
set tion H> of the Oregon Consti
tution " (A111 penalties shall be
proportioned to the otionse i
also think tin' delegation of the
setting of the si hedule violates
Article t m>< tion 1 Separation
ol Powers Unfortunately. there
is no court to review the sched
ule that is not subordinate to the
court that promulgated the
schedule
^ ou can take vour rase to traf
fic court. You might want to
know, though, that a Justii e of
the Peace does not need to know
any law at all. does not need to
be a lawyer, and if he is not. is
not subject to dist ipline for mis
conduct by the Oregon State
Bar.
This is the state's answer to
Ballot Measure .V The budget
stays the same. It |ust comes
from the people who can’t afford
it now that the people w ho i an
have forgotten their property
taxes lowered
Drake Koefoed
Eugene
Not racism
I am writing m response to
Edward Klopfenslein's irtu le
nsiaiw\meri< an rtu ism preva
Innt ill University" [ODh. inn
In thi> article. Klopfenstein
describes the failure of some
racism activists in Iexns to
i halite a road from "Jap." an
offensive term, to "Japanese
He i ontinues. "Kven in the Uni
versity’s own slide collection
located in Lawrence Hull, the
clossifii ation used for Japanese
or Asian is either 'Jap' or 'Orien
tal.' Uolh words considered (su )
derivators by most Asian Amer
leans."
To link the University's slide
collet lion with a bigoted use of
the term Jap" in a Texas tow n
is to suggest that the collection
is a site of hatred and prejudice
I 11 I r» I •» Ijlllilulf
on i umjMn
untrue. and Klopfenstein's sup
porting evident o is nun curate.
"Oriental" is not ever used in
thu i ollei tion I'he term lap" is
used in thf slide collet tion as an
abbreviation, like "(..hi" for Chi
nese or “Am" for American It is
not used .is a derogatory term
Furthermore, the i orator of the
slide library and the art history
department have already iden
tified development of the Asian
art slide i ollai turns as a priority
In fai t. they i rented mv job for
this purpose All apology is def
initely in order
Lisa Claypool
Maude Kerns Intern
Visual Resources
LETTERS
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