SUPERFLY
Dear Superfly,
I really want to pierce im nip
ple. 1 think it would look really
tough and would really enhance
my rock star persona. The prob
lem is that my friends say body
piercing is super trendy and it is
only a matter of time before it is
a little less cool than Michael
Jackson. What should I do?
— Wanna B. Cool
Dear Wanna B. Cool,
Viva la trend! So what if it is
not cool next week, if yon want
to do it. do it' All the ccxilest rock
stars have their nipples pierced,
such as Perry Farrell. Perry Far
rell and Perry Farrell.
Love. Sex and Rock 'll' Roll
— Superfly
Dear Superfly,
1 spend too much money on
marijuana. What should I do?
— Brain Dead
Dear Brain Dead,
We think yours is a very coni
man problem Welcome to Ore
g°n.
First of all get your priorities
straight We recommend playing
pool and drinking beer instead
Or if you really just can 7 substi
tute anything for it. just
moooooch off your friends
If you realize that you ’re spend
ing too much money on pot. then
simply buy less Make a list of all
the other things you would rather
spend money on, and the next
time you are about to lay out 50
bucks for an eighth, think about
your list. Feel good about what
you choose to spend money on
and how your habit affects your
life.
— Superfly
Dear Superfly,
For some reason, this winter I
have been eating more than usu
al. It's led me to the point where
• •••
1 c an‘t fit into most of my pants
I'm not overweight, hut now I do
own a potbelly.
I'm too lazy to exorcise and I
don't have very much time for it
either Often when 1 am hored I'll
think of eating some food just to
entertain me. I live far from cam
pus. so I just can't ride home to
have a healthy meal. This leads
me to eating muffins and drink
ing coffee all day. Can you help
me out here? I am going on a trip
in two weeks and it would be
nice if I could fit into my clothes
again.
Thanks Superflv
— Too Big for My Britches
Dear T.B.F.M.B.,
Superfly's immediate response
is seize who and what Vim are'
Realize that the more there is of
you the better, because it only
makes you a more powerful and
grounded person Our culture
wants little, tiny, thin feminine
women running around so they
won't threaten the patriarchal
hierarchy that prevails in most
cultures
Rut realize you are totally wise
and on top of it. and anything
that van choose to eat or drink,
more power to you' Who is more
powerful, u 120-pound woman or
a 221) pound woman7
Rut if you wont to fit into your
/eans. and support the way over
prevalent sexist attitudes that
hobble women all over the w orld,
well then, get on a fitness kick
Ride your bike home and take
advantage of the whole and nat
ural food stores in Eugene Eat
a lot of brown rice (brown rirt• is
more nutritious than white ru e
by a long shotI and vegetables
and beans It will do your system
good and you will feel and look
fu'tter than on a diet of bleached
white Pour and pesticide infest
I'd caffeine
— Superfly
Dear Superfly,
I don't know what to got my
girlfriend for Christmas I find
that my mind is consumed with
this problem night and dm My
grades are deteriorating and my
girlfriend threatened to break up
with me because 1 am so preoc
cupied with this problem (’lease
help me!
Sincerely,
— On the Verge of a Ner
vous Breakdown
Dear O.V.N.B.,
What's wrong with von ' There
ore only 25 shopping days left
before Christmas (let on it hoy1
If von nere my boy. I would tun e
left vou months ago Xo flvgtrl
desen. es that kind of treatment
Dut remember, it's quantity, not
quality Hut lust to help you out.
being the generous, sensitise,
compassionate, advice colum
lusts that we ore. uc will allow
mu to view our esclusive Christ
mas list
• /t Him k and Iks ker flashlight
with a built in AM radio
• The A Hundred Bagpipe
Favorites CD
• A snow plow
• An XACTO knife set
• A cinnamon walnut muffin
from Espresso Roma
• A sea monkey aquarium
• Take her to a live /uzz show
• Your favorite book and a hot
tie of w ine to discuss it afterwards
• A year supply of birthday
candles
• A new boyfriend
— Supertly
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