-Oregon Daily Emerald Sports Coaches, athletes, teams deserve Christmas gifts Dam: Chakbonnkai Finally realizing Rich Brooks is going to stay with both jobs at Oregon is a little like finding out Aunt Bertha is coming to your house for Christmas dinner: You can't stand the idea, but you have no choice because she's in charge of the athletic department. Huh? Well, maybe it's not like that, but you get the idea. Calling for Brooks' head is a dead issue He's staying whether anyone likes it or not. Anyway, it would be inappropriate to expect someone to fire himself so close to the holidays. But that doesn't mean we can't use the holiday season as a time to reward and penalize memliers of the athletic commu nity with Christmas bonuses arui Christmas penalties. So, I'll act os Santo Claus (after Thanksgiving dinner, I almost weigh as much as him) and hand out the goodies. Jerry Green — Green gets a bonus. As coach of the men's basketball team. Green will not Im satisfied with mediocrity, an attitude that is sorely missing at Oregon. Green won't accept medioc rity (even though he may hove to tolerate it for a couple of years), but if he doesn't have the Duc ks near the top of the Paciflc-10 in four or five years, he says he'll give someone else a shot. Green's bonus — A sell-out at McArthur Court of fans who know how to do a cheer in sync, unlike the weenie c rowds who have so far attended the games this season Oregon men's basketball team — No bonus here. Why? Because they missed nine straight free throws in the first Calling for Brooks' head Is a dead Issue. He's staying whether anyone likes It or not. half against Athletes In Action, forcing the crowd to raise their collective hands nine times without the joy of being able to say, "Whoosh." The team's penalty — Play in the Par West Classic featuring Portland. Oregon State and North Carolina-Wilmington. Oh yeah, the thicks already have to play in that. |on Mitchell — Mitchell gets a Ikwus because with all the new guys arriving to the Duck roster this veer, many figured Mitchell would be a forgotten soul on this team. However. Mitchell has continued to play hard, and has looked good at times in Oregon’s first three games Mitchell's bonus — During one ot me wucas nome rac-iu games, Mitchell will be on a break away and will suddenly have the ability to reach the run and will jam one home as the Pit crowd goes nuts. The Portland Trailblazers — For a number of reasons, the Blazers are going to be sad dur ing the holidays. First of all. Portland and its fans talk like the Blazers are still among the elite in the NBA Sure, and the footliall team has a chance at the Rose Bowl soon Face it, the Blazers are the Pacers with stu pider uniforms. The other thing is that Paul Allen, owner of the Blazers, is considering naming the new are na "The Vortex". Blazer penalty — Trade Jerome Kersey and Tracy Mur ray to Utah, where they got in a little trouble last winter. On a bright note, at least then they'd make it on SportsCenter. The Seattle Supersonics — )ust what every Blazer fan fears. The Sanies took advantage of some trade opportunities over me summer anu unvc luiuuu their team into title contenders Seattle finally lost a gome after winning 10 straight to start the season Portland used to be the team that went after the top-notch players, before they started going crazy-go-nuts over players like Chris Dudley. Sonic's bonus — An NBA championship in June. I .eon l.ett, defensive lineman, Dallas Cowboys — We have to give this guy a bonus. After all, anyone that stupid can no longer be classified os bad ath lete. After Lett tried to dive on that blocked field goal, eventu ally leading to the Cowboys' loss to the Dolphins Thanksgiving Day, he should be praised as one of the greatest physical comedi ans to ever live. Lett's bonus — A star on the Hollywood walk of fame, right next to Laurel and Hardy and The Marx Brothers. Dave Charbonneau is a sports reporter for the Emerald Green getting look at new guys By Dave Charbonneau Oregon a presence on the boards. • Zach Sellers, fi-foot-9 incites, center. Sellers came from junior college with Green hoping he would be an instant force underneath. After the first two games, he was more like an instant farce. However, Sellers came out against Athletes in Ai turn and played very well. He pulled down nine rebounds, and showed a soft touch inside, finish ing with 12 points in 2.1 minutes. • lemur Gurry. 6-foot-3-inches, guard. Curry wowed Oregon fans in the opener with a mon strous dunk and a huge block shot that turned out to bo goaltending Besides that Curry hasn’t done that much, but his athletic talents are obvious. Turn to BASKETBALL, Page 16 Jiff PAStAV im#rwd Oregon head coach Jerry Green got a look at hla new team and fresh man point guard Kenya Wilkins (10) last week. 3 CALL 346-4343 BEFORE 1 p.m. TOD A Y TO PUT US TO WORK FOR YOU TOMORROW! 100 BIRTHDAY GREETINGS Gorgaoua When »t comes to k?v* m«W«'5 fVO h* You're out th«j/* o« you* And mayt* >-chj can do is hang oo and hope k* th© host. And lead wnth your h«a-rt Nappy 2©th* -6*g Hlud* nu KHrfidi Old Kf-rndl Ju*t M«m»d N«-» lUt» Jimployw* J If' 105 PERSONALS Christmyths Ton»gM a’ PRIMETIME Com# hod out aoout myths ot Chftatmas 8.06 pm m GHbert 231 Sponsored &y __Campus Ousada Hy Ctwst Nonho, K«o. Rea Ryota M A Sat Thanks to* twng thac* QfOuVKl T*m papOfjwF v- mme *e> Vt-ng las*' pi ON CAMPUS' JO THf TYPING PRO T«cm Papers Those* Dissertations On; 683-6066 Anytime Deadline* I ine \dv l p.rti . one husincss w^crtion. l>iHj»la> Ad*: I p.m.. ra.‘ bufcincvk Ua\s pfkw to iiivcnn Ul/tt t‘AMI»UK CONNKCTIOV Orrj*on t.mcrmiit 346-4343 f « mil ta iki CV*U*« IV^'J