OPINION
A philosophy of love in the twilight of romance
MariisMei.am)
"Love is n curious thing,” my
friend Miguel said, adding a
fourth lump of sugar to his cap
puccino "People think it's eter
nal. but in reality there's nothing
that is more prone to change.”
We were sitting at a sidewalk
( afe by the square in the small
village of Tomelloso. Spain. At
the table next to ours, a group of
college students were drinking
soda and talking boisterously. A
policeman stood in front of the
square and directed the traffic
around a construction site, and a
group of old men were playing
hncrii• with tin balls under the
shady willows of the square.
"What do you mean?" I said.
"I'd soy love is just about the
only thing in the world that
doesn’t change.”
"Ah. but that's a common
misconception. Just think of it.
here we are in La Mancha, home
of Don Quixote a few hundred
years ago. Now. do you think
anyone would go through all
those calamities for a virgin like
Dulcinea today?"
"But Don Quixote was crazy.
He wasn't a real knight, and
Dulcinea certainly wasn't a real
virgin," I said.
"It doesn't change my point."
Miguel said. (I was wondering if
he was absent-minded or if he
really meant to put a fifth lump
of sugar into his coffee ) 'Don
Quixote represents his era quite
well. He's a parody of the old
novels of chivalry, in which the
knights would go to any length
to protect the honor of the vir
gins in the castle towers. That
was the dawn of romance, and
were living in its twilight
hour."
"But surely, you don't think
of love ns a passing fancy of
humankind?" 1 protested.
"Socrates philosophized about
it. Shakespeare wrote about it
and Madonna sings about it
Obviously, there's a lasting qual
ity about it."
"But do you really think
Socrates' ami Madonna's love
ant one and the same? Socrates
philosophized about the prima
cy of the ideal forms, and
Madonna sings about Fmlica. 1
grant you. they both deal with
what we may call love, hut
they're very different forms of
love. Love, defined as an attrac
tion between people, may he a
constant factor in human inter
action, but it always expresses
itself in new wavs, depending
on the fashion of the time.
Socrates was a pre-romantic,
and Madonna is in the forefront
of the post-romantic era
"And look at those college
students sitting over there. Do
you really think they live by the
same Catholic standards as their
grandfathers over at the
square?" he asked.
"Well, I‘d say we're still pret
ty romantic. We still send each
other cards on Valentine's Day,
and we still like roses and love
letters and candle lit dinners,"
I said.
"Those are merely relics from
the romantic era. And they exist
primarily for commercial pur
poses Believe me. Valentine's
Day would've been forgotten a
long time ago if Hallmark didn't
spend so much money remind
ing us of it "
(1 wati hed with disbelief as he
added a sixth lump of sugar I
was certain that the cup would
overflow if he added another.)
"But let’s get down to reality."
he said "Nowadays, it s no
longer uncommon to change
lovers quite often And mar
riages don't last Look at Juan.
our waitor. he's been married
three times, and in every mar
riage he's had numerous mis
tresses And he isn’t even 40 vet
I think, people have begun to
give up on the idea of eternal
love
"Well. / haven't given up on
it'" I said, finishing up mv cup
of tea "l still believe it's possible
for a man and a woman to love
ant h other forever
"That's because you're so
hopelessly romantic, my friend
And old-fashioned. I might add
If it were up to you. [ample would
still fight duels at sunrise and
sing Ivillads under Ivali onins The
fact is. roirtam e is dead It vv.is
a phase of love that began in the
Middle Ages and lasted for about
five centuries." he said
"So what's the alternative to
romance?" I asked
"I don't know Right now. it
seems to fie sex Our culture is
obsessed with it Probably
because our culture is profit-ori
ented, and sex has Ixxome a b«st
soiling commodity Look at
advortisomonts. look at tho
movies It's about dark, mysto
rinus looking inon without shirts
soiling Jeans It's about a sox
obsessed blonde stabbing men
with on ice pii k at thoir sexual
climax And those who say
they re unaffected by our i hang
ing view of love are lying. It's
reflix toil in divon e rates, in teen
age pregnancies, in AIDS
"I see Love is out. sex is in. I
said.
"No. you still haven't grasped
mv point ' (He stirred his cnp
puci ino with a spoon I "Love
prevails, but the age of remain e
is over We live in the age of real
ism."
And then he drank Ins < ap
pui i ino
Hack ill Amerii a. I went to see
Slrpplf-s in Seatlh' with some
friends of mine When I i nine
out ot the movie theater. 1 was
exhilarated. Now. that was a
real romance; there could he no
question about it Tom Hanks
and Meg Rvan would love each
other and live happily ever after.
"What a wonderful movie!" I
told my friends as we walked to
tile car. I didn't think they
(relieved in romance any longer
in Hollywood
It was awful." one friend said.
"Dreadful." another friend
said
"So uurtra/islir!" the first one
said.
"\V ho believes in that kimi of
love today the second one
said.
And then I knew it I Ixtlongto
a dying spe< ies Ms friend Miguel
was right Wo live in the twilight
of the romantu era
Manus Mclaiul is a columnist
for the Isinerald
Homecoming Weekend 1993
OCTOBER 29-30 1993
Take advantage of Friday’* afternoon lectures and
receptions in the EMU from 3-4 p m. and 4-5 p m. Open to
students, alumni, and the general public.
Don't miss the Friday Night Duck Party!
Featuring The Kingsmen Louie Louie
and special guest appearances by
the UO Alumni Pep Band, the UO Duck and Cheerleaders,
and Magic 94's Storm Kennedy and Dennis Nakata.
from 9 p m until Midnight at the Valley River Inn
open to everyone 21 and over!
Join us for the Campus Tour Fun Run/Walk
on Saturday at 8 a m for a 3K tour of old and new campus.
Register in front of Johnson Flail from 7:15-7:45 a m.
Finish line refreshments. T-shirts to the first 80 registrants
open to everyonel
Questions? Call the UO Alumni Association at (503) 346-5656.
GO DUCKS)
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THIS WEEK
1
October
29 ' UNSHAKABLE RACE (Reggae,
Noveml)e r
5 • Love, Death andtyricuhture <r & B/jazzj
W/ Peter Wilde (Acoustic Folk Rock)
12 • crvebpc (From S. F.)
19 # (Frasch from Seattle)
free CMpt and Mm behtwn 4 and I
hff Hink between »and /
21 and Over
• I
D. Required • Alternative Beverages Available
for information call 346-4373
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1 O F I* anllr* stock of
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Act III Discount
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Concert
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• Samples - Coming Soon!
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