Voters likely to dash
legislators’ hopes
The Oregon Legislature will at least bo able to say "Wo
tried."
Just before completing a marathon session of a record
setting 207 days, in whir h a variety of issues were dis
cussed (and some even resolved), Oregon's elected sen
ators and representatives dealt with their most pressing
problem, how to save the state from the effix ts of Ballot
Measure 5, in a prodictablo. if useless way: They pro
poser! a sales tax.
It was not an unexpected move After all. 1990 s Mea
sure 5. which placed drastic limits on properly taxes, left
the Legislature in a diffic ult position either cut govern
ment spending viciously with each successive year, until
the limits are fully implemented in 1990, or come up
with a plan to replace the revenue.
On the surface, this year's session appears to do a lit
tle of both. A total 51.2 billion was cut from the state
budget fur 1993-94, and the sales tax should replace
mur h oi the tax dollars lost to Measure 5. raising an astf
mated St.2 billion in 1993-94 and 52 billion in 1995
97
There’s only one hitch. The sales tax must bo
approved by the voters.
That's a pretty big hitch.
History provides the best evidence that the sales tax
proposal is dead in the water. Oregon voters have scut
tled the idea eight times already, most recently in 1980,
when it failed by nearly « 4-1 margin. Granted, the state's
fist al woes weren't as severe at that time, but even if the
measure mobilized twice the support it did that year, it
would still go down to defeat.
Why did the Legislature attempt to put a measure
before the voters that was about as likely to pass as a
Yugo on a steep mountain road? Even the members of
the Legislature itself barely supported the idea. It failed
once in the Senate and another time in the House before
one senator and three representatives switched their
votes, allowing the bill to finally gain passage and the
proposal to lie placed on the Nov. 9 ballot.
It seems incredible that after 207 grueling days of pol
iticking, in which even popular measures such as the
Oregon Health Plan came under fire, the Legislature
could still be optimistic. But that's the only way to
describe its hopes for a sales tax. Pollyanna syndrome. A
terminal case.
The Legislature did its best to sugar-coat the sales tax
pill, by dedicating most of the revenue it would generate
to schools and higher education, and by speeding up the
property tax limits of Measure 5. And at least one major
objection to the sales tax is addressed by the inclusion of
a number of important exemptions, including food and
prescription medicine.
Even with these features, however, it is unlikely that
the sales tax will gain much popular support. It is. after
all. another tax. oven with an armload of exemptions
(fcx)d and medicine, in particular). It is a nuisance to cal
culate when shopping. Voters fear that once it's in place,
it will continue to grow, despite assurances that such
increases will require a vote of the people. It is regres
sive, taking a greater percentage of a poor family's
income than a rich one's. And, finally, it is now, and
now can be frightening
The sales tax should be passed, but that hardly means
that it will be. And by resting all of its hopes on a hope
less proposal, the Legislature has done little to easo the
pain inflicted by Measure 5. Two hundred and seven
days for this?
Oregon Doily Emerald ~1
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The f merext <» private property The unlawful removal c* use of paper* .* proseeutatse
by w
Editor Jake Berg
PhOfO Editor Anthony f orn«y
Associate Editors EdQferton. Martm faner Scot Demons
Night Editor. J»« Berg
General Manager Judy Red
Advertising Director M.*r* W.vv Production Manager M*N*e Rosa
Advertising fre'-*se fie Jeremy Mason Van V O'Bryan II. Ang»e W»ndhe*n Paine*
Wong
Classified: Becky Merchant Manage*
Business Kafhy Carbone. Supervisor
Production: iryyxl Whte. ProdUCfton Coot&oMo* Stacy feAtChe*. Jennie* Roland
Newsroom - wmn
Business OWcs X»MU
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_QuTVOu DON'T mvf
S3'rut Guts to use it
Stories that you won’t read here
'Ton will find that many of
the truths we cling to depend
greatly an our own [Hunt of
view
— Obi-Wan "OI‘ Ben" Kenobi
One day I was trying to discuss
a great story idea with another
member on staff when my editor
told me to "Quit talkin' and start
writm’." 1 tried to reason with
him, saving that if 1 didn't ana
lyze this partu ular subjt* t. who
would? He said. "Precisely."
That sums up American jour
nalism today The old enthusi
asm and imagination that was
once the hallmark of newspajiers
has faded away Reporters and
editors are deliberately holding
off investigations that go beneath
the surface and are content to run
only cut-and-dry stories
However, these stories need to
In* brought to light, if only in a
rough and incomplete form So
here are some stories that you
won’t read in the Emerald or any -
where else.
• The Mongolian-Shaq attack
connection
During the summer. Pepsi has
been running a commercial star
ring NBA center Shaquille
"Shat)" O'Neal of the Orlando
Magit . In the commercial. Shot)
drinks a bottle of Pepsi, and all
of the other Pepsi bottles in the
world start to empty, as if Shaq
was drinking them all in one
mighty swallow. (Actually, this
has some roots in ancient Norse
legends involving Thor at the
home of the Giants, but that's
another story you won't read )
Anyhoo. all of the Pepsi
drinkers watch their cola disap
pear before their eyes in shock
and amazement. All. that is,
except for a group of what appear
to be Mongolian nomads. They
look at thoir empty bottles and
i rv "Shaq Altai k" in Mongolian
And indeed it is. but how did
thev know that? Mongolia is rel
atively isolated from the rest of
the world There is no reason
why they would know the
answer when millions of Pepsi
drinkers in the United Slates
don't — [HMiple who presumably
would tie Itetter acquainted with
Pepsi and the NBA than a band
of nomads
Now the first and most obvious
answer is that it's only a com
mercial and the Mongolians were
simply being paid to say "Shaq
attack " However, that story,
though conveniently I wicked up
by the "facts.” lai ks a certain
Oliver Stone reality that is so
much more interesting than con
ventional reality.
An experienced. dedicated
reporter would go beyond the
truth to unc over a story so pow
erful that the movie rights would
be sold before the article was
even published
Perhaps the Mongolians, living
in an isolated country under
rugged conditions, are being
trained by Pepsi as the Fromen
were taught by Paul Muad'Dib
Atreides in Frank Herbert's Dune
Will Pepsi unfurl its banner and
use the Mongolians to unleash
a soft drink jihad around the
world? Maybe not Hut remem
ber the words of Pepsi's founder.
"God created Pepsi to train the
faithful One cannot go against
the word of Pepsi
• The Pauly Shore-)apan Con
spiracy
Pauly Shore, the wandering
surfer boy who is riding a wave
of popularity following his jump
from MTV to Hollywood in such
ground-breaking films sm h ns
Enrino Man and Son in-Law, can
not be explained i>y the known
laws of physics.
IjisI time anybody checked, the
earth had not entered a space
time distortion and we are not in
the 19711s, the last known period
of sustained mass delusionary
behavior.
How then to explain Pauly's
apparent popularity? Wo should
harken to the words of Sherlock
Holmes, who once said that when
the impossible has been elimi
nated, what remains, however
improbable, must be the truth.
Pauly cannot be popular, ergo,
the improbable truth is that some
one manipulated the Nielsen rat
ings of his MTV show to make
him appear to !>e popular
Who did this and why? Some
have speculated that Japanese
Education Ministry officials are
conspiring to further erode the
average intelligence of American
citizens by flooding the airwaves
with brain-free programming
Supporters of this conspiracy
theory have dubbed it Rising
Dumb
(This nun not lie the full extent
of Japan's efforts It's a Japanese
company that brought us Nin
tendo. the video game system that
turns children into Stimpy.)
Pauly is probably not even
aware that there is a conspiracy
1 le may not lie aware of anything
1 do not profess to have inves
tigated these and other subjects
to their conclusions Indeed. I
have barely scratc hed the surfac e
of the breadth and depth of such
stories I urge readers to demand
more risk-taking from their
newspapers.
Ed Corson will not be return
ing to the Emerald fall term.
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