Rain, rain, tain, etc.: summertime blues The Univtirsity Hulletm, in describing campus life, says thus: "Living in Oregon is one of the spot ial bene fits of attending the University." OK with you so far. Further. "The c limato of Western Oregon is mild, with moderate winters and pleasant summers." Whoa, back up there. PltHisont summers? Apparently the public ists down at Oregon Hall have an unrecognized gift of humor. Either that or they don't look out their windows often enough This summer is shaping up to be like any other season in Eugene. Weather forecasts these past couple of weeks haven't exactly strained meteorologists' skills. It's not hard to predict rain, followed by scattered showers and more rain. Summers in Eugene — especially the dog days of July and August are sup posed to have people in shorts, sunny meetings on bar patios and high pollen counts. Good golfing weather. Recently, however, the only people golfing in the What better way is there to welcome new people to the campus than drown them in a typical, fun-filled Oregon rainstorm? area are the ones used to toeing oil above the Arctic i-ir cle. Our spate of rain should not corne as any surprise to veteran Oregonians, lake Hill Cosby said in one of his old comedy routines: If it isn't raining, poople in the Pacific Northwest think they've done something wrong and start sacrificing animals Eugene isn't the only spot on the globe with erratic weather patterns of late. With the Mississippi River opening up new branc h offices, our little increase in rainfall is (pun intended) a drop in the bucket. It is ironic that while the campus is looming with prospective enrullees, Eugene is doing a Cecernber Imi tation. What better way is there to welcome new people to the campus than drown them in a typical, fun-filled Oregon rainstorm? Take a hint: Invest in an umbrella. Who can we blame for this downturn in summer for tune? The University administration? Congress? The greenhouse effect? Is this to be our new lot in life — the only difference between seasons being a tiny shift in the inches of rain? No. we must be brave during this time of turmoil. Turn the other cheek to let both sides get wet. Keep your i hin up because the rain runs off easier that way. At least the pollen count is lower. And don't forgot your umbrellas. Oregon Daily 1 .. .'""I Tno Oegon Dikiy t mar aid i published due, Monday through t nday dmmg the school ye*f »nd Tuesday and Thursday during the summei By the Oregon Daily Emerald PuOMhmg Co Inc at me University ol Oregon t ugene Oegon The Emerald operants independency o* (he Urwversrfy with once* as Su4e 300 or the £ rt> Memorial Llmon and i a memtier ol me Associated Pies* The l meraid it pi..ate property The unlawful removal O' uta of papers Flos* Advertising Frenme He* Jeremy Mason Van V O’Bryan II. Angie Windham. Patncfc Wong Claasified Becky Merchant Manager Business Kamy Carbone Supervisor Production: Ingrid While ProdUrfen CoonSnaror Slacy Miches Jenmter Roland ttoWWOOffl... Bu»4n«M Offtc* — utftptay Aovvrwng -~—wi/u Cl4M»lfted AOvwltfttog-3414)43 £l/£RV SPECIES SO [ 7WEV AU. MAV 8£ PftES£Bv££ VoUfAEAM \ EXCEPf THOSE \ THAT THREATEN L, JOBS AND ■ Economic de\*iop*£NT. I Jwhircgy »■>«•*<* »^w. I ato, r OiOh •’‘aaakit-awv Misr4'Av'6E O'* European beer better than U.S. Things we have never experienced or known generally survive in our minds as stereotyped images as what we believe those things to be After returning from nearly a month spent abroad in Europe (certainly not enough time to completely understand the ways of Europeans). I have a couple of more stereotypes to spread. My ■'truth" — or how I perceive these things to actually be — follow each stereotype So go ahead and open up that list in your mind dial begins with "all European women don't shave their legs or armpits” and “European kids know how to hold their alcohol ” STEREOTYPE: Everyone in Europe is polite and courteous Anywhere you go. Europeans will treat you like one of the— own — part of the family. In ti,u United States, on the other hand, people kill each other over shoes. TRUTH: In several countries — particularly Scandinavia and Germany, where much of my ancestry comet from, oddly enough — people seem to have been bom with the "evil eye." My small traveling group and !, our A meric an heritage appar ently obvious, could not have received more stares had we Ixs'ii wearing signs that said, "Look at us We like it" (written in sev eral languages, of course). People from other countries were more tourist-friendly, keep ing their eyes to themselves, in Spain, where my pale legs, back ward hat and Americanized Spanish accent certainly showed I wasn't a native. I was never afforded a second look. STEREOTYPE: In Europe. peo pie drive carefully They are great drivers because their drivers' tests ore much more diffii uIt than in the states TRUTH: In Europe, people don't drive carefully. "Stop” is not in their vocabulary — it's more like slow down (briefly), honk and drive faster Pedestri ans beware — drivers may not notice you. STEREOTYPE: Trains aw tlie best way to travel around Europe You can enjoy seeing the coun tries without the hassle of getting lost, buying gas or asking for directions. TRUTH: Yes, driving around Europe would he a pain, hut trains in Europe are overrated. To enjoy trains, one must learn to sleep sitting up. ignoring those nasty jolts in the tracks: one must tolerate the enormous amount of American kids running around with their life's belongings on their hacks, posing as a pack usu ally as large as the carrier: and one must not think about the toi lets on the trains. Rather than make like a mobile home ami store the human waste gathered during trips, the toilets simply open up and say "hi" to the !ra< ks when you flush, deco rating the tracks with the toilet's contents 1 guess that explains why the warnings (again, in sev eral languages) in the toilet rooms say to close the lid while flush ing and don't use the toilet while stopped in a station. STEREOTYPE: European beer is much better than any found in the states TRUTH: Sorry, folks — sad but true. Worse yet. the "imports" we receive from abroad are watered down versions of the real thing, so if you want to drink a "real" European Inter, go to Europe. Czechoslovakia, the country that made the original Hudweis er. wins the I test Inter in Europe contest Nowhere else can you huv almost a liter of 12 percent alcohol Inter (yep, 12 percent) for little more than a dollar. The import, however, sells at Albertson's for about $2, and don't expect it to tie 12 percent STEREOTYPES: Hairy women and sober European kids TRUTH: Give me a break Europeans are as human as the rest of us. Women's legs and armpits are no more hairier than in Eugene, and kids will lie kids — but their tolerance may lie a little higher. fake Berg is the editor of the Emerald HUM w«u i gl ’O'M) t t -t.4 just imt y*j LjJtJ