Holy pit! Stand by your mallard
smells like green spirit to me
Way back when, around the beginning of
basketball season. I nearly pit my pants
when 1 heard the Ducks' slogan for the
upcoming season
At first, I thought it was a hoax Or at least a joke
being passed around by those masters of high-jinx
in the athletic department
But then I saw the posters and the bumper stick
ers. It was then
that I realized
the slogan "Pit
Happens" was
made up by
someone actual
ly being paid to
come up with a
slogan to repre
sent the team and the University
Now. I could really give a pit less if someone was
actually offended by that slogan, and obviously the
athletic department didn't care either
1 could have written a big column about how lame
it was that our school actually had a team slogan
that was a take-off on a vulgarity-laced saying usu
ally reserved for the crown of some overweight
trucker's tap.
But I didn't.
Six months later. ... It's nearly summer, ai d foot
ball season is a mere three months away. Ticket
sales were down last year, so the athletic depart
ment all got together and tried to come up with
an ad campaign to bring the masses back to Autzen
Stadium.
The slogan? “Stand By Your Mallard
Yikes!
The commercial, if you haven’t seen it. is a take
off on the 1970s country hit "Stand By Your Man''
But face ft The new slogan
sucks pit
by Tammy Wynetto ft'* presented like one of those
K-Tel "best of" gems, with i»untry song titles roiling
down the screen with words replaced by Oregon
opponents' nicknames. "Take This Wazzu and
Shove It” and "Achy Broaky Beavers” are the onlv
two I was able to catch after coming out of shock
The nd is obviously trying to capitalize on the
recent boom in country music's popularity, and I
see where they 're trying to go with the new slogan
But face it. It sucks pit
Are "hipsters” who listen to country music actu
ally going to be drawn out to Autzen Stadium
because of this ad campaign? And. more impor
tantly. do we even want them there?
What's next?
Grunge songs? Rap lyrics?
1 mean, with the new $2 par-game fee students
will have to pay next season, why doesn't the ath
letic department crank out some slogans that cater
to us crazy kids to keep us coming to the games'
I even have some ideas of my own (like you didn't
see this coming).
Ten Songs the Athletic Department Could Change
the Word* to and Make Them Crazy Fun* On That
Wild and Cooky Duck Theme:
10. "Duck You Dry" (Mudhonoy)
8. "Baby Got Quack" (Sir Mix-A-Lot)
8. "Bills to the Wall" (Accept)
7. "Back In Quack" (AC/IX!)
Turn to SLOGAN, Page 16
BRIDGESTONE DAYS
FRIDAY, SATURDAY, SUNDAY June 11-13
MEET THE
BRIDGESTONE REP—
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SAVE $30-$150
ON A1993
BRIDGESTONE BICYCLE
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summer workshops!
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jewelry
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calligraphy
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stained glass
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drawing
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and more.
irfistniiii starts: ties Jiie Mi 18 aa
EMU CRAFTCENTER
U)\N|IUIVII ()l I Ml I MU
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Enjoy Spring Cleaning
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240 E. 17th
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Sexual Harassment?
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Sexual Harassment Resouki Network
Pick up your free copy of
the bulletin at the
Summer Session Office,
333 Oregon Hall, or call
(503) 346-3475.
All students pay in-state
tuition in summer.
Duck Cull—registration
for summer session
classes, is going on now\
1993 UO ;
Summer Session
Bulletins with
schedule of
classes are now
i
available!
of OW*"°N
V MVI*-?' msslON
SUMMl''1’ , ;a