Career & Graduation Guide
Graduation ...
What's the big deal?
j Graduation is great;
Ceremony isn't as much fun
as fifth grade
Graduation. The b*g day is coming last, yet I find
myself growing tired of it already. I can't seem
to get excited about the pomp and circum
stance of being thrust into the real world. Perhaps
that's because I’m going to law school in August,
putting off the real world for another three years.
I remember when graduation used to be exciting.
VVI1C7I1 I yiduucuou umii mui auc
into middle school, we had a big
picnic, our first "dance," lots ol
balloons and cake and general
ly lelt like we were moving up in
the food chain.
When I graduated from middle
school, my class had the privilege
of being the first to go through all
three years at our sptffy. new,
three-year-old middle school.
I don't recall getting any presents then. I do recall
working feverishly, in my best "special occasion"
clothes, to finish varnishing my woodshop protect. It
was a little box-ltke thing that opened on top. My dad
still uses it to store old bills and junk mail My legacy
I also remember someone in the band dropped a
tuba during the ceremony And then, it was off to high
school.
Four years later, along with 500 people whom I nev
i r\ i i t* U' ' i i
and similarly clad in blue- anc
gold-gowned attire, I walker
across the stage, received mj
empty diploma cover and won
dered where the family wa
going for dinner
Actually, it was almost the
graduation that wasn't That yea
our principal decided to move
the graduation ceremony frorr
Portland's austere Civic Audito
rium to the cavernous echo
palace that is the University o
Portland's Chiles Center
The senior class, in a momen
of 90210-like unity, made it quite
clear that no one would bt
attending a ceremony at th«
utfi i (n d«iKj
the Civic was booked solid. We said tough He moved
the ceremony back to the Civic Power to the people.
I got a guitar for graduation It was an Ibanez elec
tric/acoustic and a little amp that my parents proba
bly later regretted having purchased But I was free,
released from the bondage of 12 years of indentured
servitude to the state and was the master of my own
destiny. I was going to turn my amp to 10 and there
was nothing anybody was going to do to stop me. You
can't kill rock 'n* roll.
Community college The minor leagues I suppose
a l 96 GPA will do that to you But I had applied to
Oregon State. How picky could they be? Picky
enough. So. having sunk below even OSU's admit
tance standards, I crept ott to do my time at a two
year power house, Mt Hood Community College
The following year I transferred to OSU, (helplul
hint it you blow off high school, do a year at a com
munity college, get a 2 0 and transfer). As a Beaver.
I learned a lot about socializing I experienced a diver
sity of alcohols. I watched Gary Payton get thrown
out ot my dorm lor being a tad loud at three in the
morning. I needed my then girttnend. now wife, to call
around and find out where my finals were
The following year I was back at MHCC Go fig
ure. Three years and as many maprs later (mclud
mg two years m the Navy), I graduated with a
General Studies degree I chose not to attend the
graduation ceremony — how could I be excited at
having taken six years to graduate from community
college?
Looking back, I see that may have been my mis
take Because I missed that graduation. I'm being
forced to attend this one. My wife, parents, etc are
demanding I walk across a stage, while wearing a
gown nearly a foot short, to receive another empty
degree cover
For the last month I've been fielding inquiries as lo
what I want for graduation What does anybody
want? Money. However, that doesn't seem to wash
with the relatives. Everybody wants to make their gift
personal How about a mutual fund in my name?
Actually, I'll be surprised if I get much of anything
I never sent my thank you notes after high school
graduation or after my wedding. I'm a selfish,
unthinking boob But that hasn't stopped me from
sending out the requisite invitations and plotting the
burden of ignoring me and my moment of glory on
others.
But material possessions are not what graduating
is all about It's about maturing, becoming an adult
(if you aren't already — but hey, aren't we all really
kids inside?) and entering the work force (a k a the
unemployment line) Well, one out of three ain't bad
(if you're playing baseball).
I have managed to weasel out of attending the
Aut/en Stadium ceremony. I convinced people that
it ia/;« too tar tn walk from Allen
i / remember w hen gradua
tion used to be exciting.
When I graduated from
fifth grade into middle
school, w e had a big pic
nic, our first ''dance,” lots
of balloons and cake and
generally felt like we were
moving up in the food
chain.
Hall to the glorified dirt pile and
that we would do better to go
straight to brunch Saved by
the bullet
My little brother, lour years
younger than I, graduated from
college last month Talk about a
blow I’ll regain the lead, how
ever, graduating from law school
before he graduates from med
ical school But he took the
straight route, right out ol high
school and has his B $ at 21
I'll have my B A live days before
turning 26 and my law degree
shortly before 29
Will I be excited then? Who
knows I can’t really say I’m look
ing forward to more than
$30,000 of indebtedness And besides, the real world
Inghtens me I'm alraid of change — change is bad
Perhaps I've simply grown callous in my waning
years The magic and mystery of life has passed me
by. leaving a strewn pile of notebooks from classes I
don't remember having taken
Shortly, we will find out whether we learned any
thing from any of those classes I know college grad
uates who cant find the Pacific Ocean on a map (no
joke), or who can't spell to save their lives Yet, they
walked across a stage, received an empty degree
cover and went to lunch Seems they never quite
came back
Wouldn't it have been easier to simply write a
check for $12,OCX), received a piece of paper and
been our way? Would we be any better/worse off
than we are now? Could anybody in the real world
tell the difference? Probably not.
So, as the big day approaches and we all put on
our black gowns, black hats and colorful tassels,
keep this in mind: Your loans come due in six
months.
Happy graduation
Murtin Usher
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