Post office insanity
brings rash solution
Everyone has a bad day now and again. You spill your
coffee, flunk a test, bomb an interview or twist an ankle.
It becomes immediately clear you should never have left
the security of your bedsheots.
Most people adjust quite well to those predicaments.
However, there Is a certain group that seems to havo bad
days more frequently than others. And. unfortunately,
they don’t always react positively to their misfortunes.
The culprits: postal workers, of course.
Therefore, in the spirit of Rep. Liz VanI.eouwon’s, R
Halsey. quick-fix solutions to growing problems, the
i'mi'raid has several suggestions to stem the bubbling
postal-shooting volcano.
First, the U N Constitution should add a 28th Amend
ment: Postal workers and ex-postal workers should not
bo allowed to own firearms Although the Second
Amendment declares that people have a right to bear
arms, certain postal workers have a tendency to shoot
other people's arms off, which has got to be unconstitu
tional in some way.
Second, the bars that separate employees from the
public at post offices should bo heavily roinfort ed, pos
sibly with bullet-proof glass, so that citizens are safe
from these armed menaces. You never know when a
postal worker will her nine disgruntled.
And finally, letter carriers should bo handcuffed at all
times What if. perhaps, a mail person wore to stop in a
mud puddle in front of City Hall ? He or she could go
berserk and clear out the City Council. With people s
hands clasped behind their bark, they won't be able to
reach their holsters. To make up for their handcuffs, a
small monkey should be allowed to sit on their shoul
ders to put mail in the slots.
Thesis nogtitivo suggestions are just a Few responses
to post office shootings However, there is a silver lining
— his name is Edward Egging of Tigard. Ho was recent
ly honored bv the National Association of Latter Carriers
for saving a life during an apartment (ire. as was Keith
Wickham of Janesville, Wis.. who rescued a man whose
vehicle had plunged through ice.
In all seriousness, these latter individuals are just as
representative of postal workers as those people who
shot up post officos in Michigan and California last
week. The behavior of a few bad postal eggs has a ten
dency to smear the reputation of all. and. unfortunate
ly, people across tho country are beginning to think of
post offices as powder kegs waiting to explode.
The most unfortunate result of tho shootings is that
those employees that do represent the post office with
pride will never get equal publicity. Postal workers don’t
need handcuffs, reinforced bars or cockamamie amend
ments to restrain them. They don't even need training to
prevent tho frustration that leads to inane acts of vio
lence.
They simply need a little luck, so that the next few
crazies to shoot up a neighborhood work for McDonald's
instead.
Oregon Doily
Emerald
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LETTERS
Review review
The Emerald. notorious for ils
lack of insight, espec tally
reflected in knee-)erk editorials,
at least did something right with
an exceptional ftIm review of
Indecent Proposal (ODE. May
7).
I) Loo Williams did not suo
cumb to the usual hyperbole
and glitz over an aging Holly
wood brat (Demi Moore) and a
fading star (Robert Radford).
Instead, he provided a highly
perceptive, analytical and time
IV review
I am very pleased that as a
him critic for the c o I lege news
paper. Williams exon iseti intel
ligence with integrity and saw
Indecent Proposal as nothing
more than a "misogynistic
mess" from a vapid director. As
lie thoughtfully pointed out. it's
got nothing to do with P.G.
Perhaps best of all. he sent a
much-needed message to local
critics that what is good for peo
ple who read The Village Voice
had better tie |ust us good for us
folks subscribing to The Hegis
ter-Guard and The Oregonian.
Do you think Passman and
berry believed they could get
away with such sloppy film
reviews because they serve
mostly a local constituency?
At any rate, excellent work,
and please keep it up. And
whenever Williams would like
to talk films, he should drop by
my office hours. I could learn a
lot from him.
Clarence Spigner
Assistant Professor
Anthropology/Ethnic Studies
Darwinism
Khun Fodor's commentary
(ODE. May 10) describes in great
detail the perils of overpopula
tion. only to list abortion, birth
control (including voluntary
sterilisation) and tax incentives
for smaller families as the possi
ble cure,
Abortion, birth control and
voluntary sterilization are
already legal, although not free
in general. I Indiese that an edu
cated guess might suggest that if
those things were free, it would
still not keep the world popula
tion from growing. I doubt tax
incentives for large families is a
cause for overpopulation.
So what might tie another rea
son the population is grow ing?
On«> main cause may be that
people are playing with Moth
er Nature " We are not letting
the natural selection process
work The population now has
an increasing percentage of
elderly, probably larger than
ever before.
We are keeping people alive
much longer than in the past;
wo an? curing diseases and
replacing vital parts of bodies to
keep people alive
If population control is so
important, then we should let
natural selection take its course
The fit will survive, and the
unfit will not Stop medical
research — and how does a Dr
Kevorkian retirement plan
sound'
Allen James
Biology
Insightful
Congratulations on your
insightful editorials of May 7
(on the fai ulty assembly meet
ing) and May 10 (on the OCA's
new initiative).
It is to your credit that you
took an editorial position on
these issues. Your ability to cut
through the clutter of both of
these complex topics and exam
ine the facts in a clear-headed
manner does your paper proud.
In my estimation, this is what
good editorial journalism is
about; separating the fai ls from
the jumble of sensory percep
tions and reaching an informed
and informing opinion.
Keep up the good work
Thomas H. Bivins
Associate Professor
School of Journalism
and Communication
No on EWEB
Please pay attention to the
brown election envelop that you
have recently received. This is a
local ballot measure that would
authorize our local electric util
ity (EWEB) to spend $150 mil
lion to buy new electric power
supplies. The plan calls for
spending a total of $300 million
during the next few years
You may be very busy and
inclined to "recycle" this envel
op. but every student is a rate
payer and this is the single
largest budget expenditure ever
presented to the voters of
Eugene. It amounts to an ulti
mate debt of $4,400 per cus
tomer
Under the plan. $13 million
will he spent on power trans
mission lines so we can ship our
cheap power to California We
get the pollution and environ
mental impact, and California
gets clean electricity at only five
cents a kilowatt-hour.
Ask yourself some basic ques
tions like Do we really need all
of tins power' Are there other
ways to pay for it? What are the
environmental consequences?
What are the risks' What art* the
alternatives? Do we have to
approve this all at once?
Unfortunately, it is hard to get
answers to these questions The
voter pamphlet and EWEB
information bulletin present
only one option and do not car
ry any dissenting viewpoints
You may wish to call EWEB and
ask directly at 484-2411
If you are not satisfied with
the answers, join ine and vote
"no" on the bond measure.
Ebon Fodor
Environmental Studio*
Question basics
Many opponents of the multi
cultural curriculum requirement
maintain that transforming the
curriculum represents an
attempt to introduce politically
correct viewpoints into a "neu
tral" curriculum.
They claim that the propo
nents of a transformed curricu
lum seek to distort it with their
own politically motivated
reform agendas, yet transform
ing the curriculum is no more
political than the process that
designates the existing "canon."
As Professor Gates from Cor
nell University has stated. "That
people can . protest the erup
tion of politics into something
that has always been political
from the very beginning says
something about how remark
ably successful official histories
have been at disguising all link
ages In-tween the canon, the lit
erary past we remember, and
those interests that maintain it."
Essentially, we must In-gin to
question what we have always
considered the "basics." We
must challenge the long-held
certainties that we assume mir
ror reality.
Diana Collins Puente
ASUO Vice President-Elect