OPINION Creative complaints spice up day Thorn sewn* to bo some confusion on campus as to the hot way to aim plain to the editor of this here publication. So. in the interests of better serv ing the read ers, I’ll try to point out some of the d o s a n d d o n't* of productive i; m v r a I d bashing First and for omo s t. don't cm 11 up the editor and say. "I’m going to make your life difficult for the rest of the year " My life is already diffi cult, and I doubt anyone can put a dent in my already rock bottom self-esteem gles Pat Maiach Besides, that line is absolute ly overused. This is a liberal arts university. Be creative. How about, "I'm gonna follow you around, and I'll, I'll get ya. man." Or most original of all, how about threatening to write a well-reasoned, well-researched letter to the editor. Now that would cause weeks of sleepless nights. Fortunately, I don’t fore see it happening in the near fu ture. Secondly, don't send anony mous correspondence to the editor. I don’t read anonymous criticism. I throw the letters in the recycling bin. If you don't believe strongly enough in your complaint to have your name associated with it, why should 1 care? And to the person who ad dresses correspondence, "To the editor (if there is one)’’: Prove you have some research skills bv checking the staff box It's on the bottom of Page 2 al most every day Thirdly, choose your bottles wisely There are plenty of things in the Emmald that are worthy of crttk ism, don't waste energy on inane non-issues In response to an editorial cartoon depicting George Bush confessing his campaign tactics to a priestly-garbed Richard Nixon (ODE, 0< t 23): One con cerned reader asked If this was vet another example of bigotry against Catholicism " The cor respondent suggested we ask a Jewish member of our stafl 'll he or she would fie offended fly the same cartoon showing Rich ard Nixon dressed as a rabbi." Latent Catholic bigotry? Rich ard Nixon dressed as a rabid ' Here's an idea Go to church Light a few candles Maybe God will give you a sense of humor I would also suggest you fig ure out what you're mad about and stic k with it if you're mud about tiie opinion espoused in an editorial, argue about the viewpoint Don't quibble about semantics, such as whether a group of people forms a race or a culture And it only serves to make you look stupid (and inspire a few mocking laughs) if you stretch to make a complaint One "critique" sent to the ed itor complained about the headline on an Associated Press story in the Nov. 12 issue The story's lead paragraph re ported someone cut a "four foot 'X' in the new screen" The headline on the story stated. "Vandals cut 'X' in screen." The critic circled a quote from one person in the bottom of the story who said it looked i A *1.00 off Falafel or Gyros EV V# Meet to cat at if m)£as.ttniri^ The mlaiing Place lalalcl Mia available at Mimt Mari and lire Kiv-a Expire. 12/31 ^CMC€ *42*2241 • 8S4 Ivasc ! *th • Next to Kinkm I WINTER CRAFT FAIR ••V ' Don't Buy Another Gift until you check out The EMU Winter Craft Fair EMU Fir Room Wednesday & Thursday, December 2 & 3 10:00 am-5:30 pm Live Music! Free Cider! Fantastic Gifts! Sponsored by the EMI' Clift Cana & the Cultunl Forum For mformitioo call 346 4361 DON'T GIVE UP THE SEARCH! TRY LOST AND FOUND IN THE CLASSIFIED SECTION. mori’ like a "V." it wu obvious to this correspondent that the* one statement rendered the headline completely innn u rute I was happy to noto this critic found nothing wrung with any of tin1 stories written iiv /Trier ,iUI staff writers It should also be noted here that the Associat ed Press has an office In Port land- You can get the phone number by dialing information at 1-555-1212. It s painfully apparent this person had an ax to grind about something the paper had print ed in the past Hut win go to so much trouble searching for something anything to complain about7 f igure out wfi.it you're pissed off about Think about what you want to say And then, be fore you call, drink some Mn alox and relax I'm always ready and willing to have a rational. Intelligent and productive t onversation with tile paper's readers Out Insults and threats don't meet the rationality criteria People wlio want to discuss issues will find a receptive uu dionce People who faiI into the other category should remem ber, "The right to be heard di*>s not include the right to f>e tak en seriously " I’it I Malach is mlitur of Ihr Kmerald CUSTOM PRINTED T-SHIRTS Lowest Ratesi s m i « t y 89<» 0101 f ROSES '9.9%, W 1 ( aa*r««r«r tofO rioct am I Aik kt IVwtHoi ( nil dMn&faru/ M i )W l Its AM) (,11 I s i?l« t W«a bfiHb Oi. *’»: • 4iv i:*i 1.1 vk ot. t-4Bi • a< »*•: •I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-X-X—I-I-I—I—I—I-I-I-I-I-l-j QIGONG for Peak Performance! • DISCOVER your '<|l" I |v tion.il rurr^yl lifting .* .11 iipirmmr pomlt loi tw.iltnt: uni rnrr gv < Ire illation uni M rrrivlws In mi rriw .util llutr rnriity • LEARN flow to 11.111 lor r 1 ir 1 Imliai.iiii t 1 .mil liow lo uk rxlrrii.il rtwrgv lot limlmtt .uni vimalU.iUun Dr. Effie Chow, President of the East West Academy of Healing Arts LECTURE $10 OO Friday. 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