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Continued from Page 1
that II was bad." ho said “They
had never said it was bad, but
then again they novor said any
thing. My paronts' reaction is
typical They still don’t accept
me Thoy don’t accept tho rela
tionship botwoon mo and my
lover. (Thoy) saw my coming
out as the worst thing I have a
brother with mental illness and
I was considered worso than
that. I foul real anger about that
whole (coming out) exporionco.
However, I use that anger as
fuel for-riving now."
Shaffor’s fathor said ho
would spend any amount of
money to got him "changed
back.’’
“The thing is, I was novor
straight," Shaffer said.
Shaffer advised other gay
men who are coming out to
wait until thay have the re
sources to cornu out.
"If you don’t have tho re
sou rces to come out. avoid the
subject. When you do have the
opportunity to come out, do
come out Otherwise, tho regret
will be like a millstone thut
holds your head to tho ground.
Remember thut when you come
out you are telling the truth ."
Thompson said her parents
novor talked ui>out homosexu
als. And because she had never
hoard the term "bisexual," she
didn’t know it doscrit>ed her.
After talking with a friend who
was bisexual, Thompson said
her feelings began to make a lot
mom sense
Thompson said she told her
parents she was bisexual, and
they are still trying to accept
the news,
"My mom still thinks I’m go
ing through a phase, and my
dad just kind of ignores it,"
Thompson said. ”1 came out to
my closest friends. I just didn’t
think it would be a good idea to
come out in high school."
Thompson said sho thinks it
is "a little bit easier" for her to
come out than for someone
who is gay or lesbian.
“Straight guys am more ac
cepting of it," she said. "Nino
aut of 10 guys am turned on by
lesbian sox. I do, howovor, havo
a hard timo relating to lesbian
women. I have always lovod
people in general. (Lesbians)
think that because you associ
ate with men, you're just as bad
as straight women. They think
that my ideas aren’t ns good as
their ideas because I'm not a
’full-blooded’ lesbian.”
Thompson said sho wants
support from lesbians and
wishes there wasn’t a division
betwoen the two groups.
Overall, Thompson said she
hasn't received too much criti
cism about her bisexual status.
She said that once sho wore
an “1 like women” button to
tost people's reactions but
didn't got much flack.
Thompson said coming out is
something you have to bo ready
for, and she doesn’t beliove it’s
right for poople to pressure oth
ers to come out
Koss. Unlike Shaffer unri
fcJNlVERSlTVija
Thompson, was never faced
with the task of telling her par
ents about her sexual orientu
tlon. Her mom came to her and
asked If she was a lesbian. Ross
said because sho wasn't really
interested In guys and was
reading a book about a gay
man’s experiences, her mother
"just put two and two togeth
er."
"I was real uncomfortable
and didn't want to talk to my
mom about it,” Ross said
"Both my parents have not act
ed out of hostility or anger
They've been willing to find a
way to be OK with it."
Ross said she didn't discuss
it for about three or four yoars,
but it wasn't an issue because
she wasn't dating anyway.
Ross said one's sexual orien
tation is u personal thing, but,
at the samo time, is an impor
tant piece of social information.
"It affects how people per
ceive you. The conclusions
thoy draw about you. who you
are. And I'm not saying that’s a
bad thing. It's just surprising
for someone who doesn't know
becausa it changes their whole?
view of you."
Ross said coming out can be
a selective process in which the
people that are closest to her
are the onos who she feels she
must be honest with.
"I don't think lesbians, gays
or bisexuals are obligated to
come out to ovoryone. For ex
ample. with acquaintances or
in a working situation it isn't
necessary to talk of your sexual
orientation.”
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