OPINION The biggest, bestest show in town Tired of paying $6 to soo tho latest movies ut the 26 plex-cinumarnma theater? Have you grown out of tho "what's-your-sign" atmosphere of tho local clubs? OD'd on Or egon's famous outdoors? Here's the solution to your spare-time blues. It's dollar-for dollar the best entertainment doal going. It is a must see. Two thumbs up. Four stars. The foel good hit of the season. You'll luugh. you’ll cry, it will become a part of you. Sound too good to be true? It's not. It’s tho Springfield CUy Council meetings. Othor city councils have lot their respective ontortainmont values slide by doaling with the hackneyed themes of city fl nances, police and lire, iraitlc problems, etc. It’s all so gauche. I mean, where's the creativity? The Springfield City Council should be applauded for taking a bold step to revive this flag ging entortainment medium by introducing Councilman Raff Walters — morality's clown prince — into the production. And Walters' plan is bril liant. In just a few years, the councilman has lifted the coun cil from the doldrums of gov erning into the limelight of po litical theater. And the recipe ho followed is so simple. By introducing his own mis guided religious political agen da into this "pagan nation('s)" politics, Walters has created a surreal climate with all tho ele ments of award-winning drama. There are now dear and deep divisions in tho production Good and bod guys ubound with little room to deal with those boring responsibilities of actually governing the commu nity. By enabling tho produc tion to got the governing mon key off its buck, Wallers and his cronies have tried to set the council free to pursue some tru ly exciting fare — imposing one narrow ideology on society. Pal Malach The As-lhe-C-ouncil-Tums at mosphere began last year when Walters end two other like minded councilman plotted be hind closod doors — via E-mail — to keep certain unacceptables off the city’s hu man rights commission. Those pesky open-meeting laws can't And talk about versutilo. Waiters understands that a good drama needs that touch of humor between the grotesque Without (sitting an eye, with no nod to the subtle touch of Irrev erence and irony, the man. who told a Register-Guard reporter that becoming an evangelical Christian had inspired him to got Into politics und fight the "cultural war.” told the Dorm hue crowd that the state should not legislate morality Bravo, Ralf! Encore! Such a light comedic touch. It was simply boautiful. And he suld it with a straight face. Complete deadpan. Where was ho whan stop a iruo zealot. Now comes the OCA's anti-gay rights measures, and Walters has thrown his weight behind Springfield Is doing all It can to change the way Americans view government t h o y worn filming Ani mal House on campus? And It doesn't ond (hero. The Monday fol lowing the me witcnnuni 110 percent. Waltors has been orchestrating the climax of this plot with a genius only Hitch cock might have approached. His next step was to appear on national TV with Phil Dona hue and others to debate tho OCA's statewide message of hate, intolerance and divtsive noss. This was Walters at his dramatic best. While represent ing Springfield, Walters em ployed the tactics of interrup tion and intimidation to paint himself as a rude bully. His performance was simply genius. How one man could act so evil and cold — with deep set beady eyes peering down his nose at the unacceptable* ho hud to share the stage with — is hard to comprehend. C^n you say Oscar? No hu man could reully be so Inhu mane, but Walters pulled off tho act. I haven't been so fright ened since Anthony Hopkins was eating people in Slionctt of the Lambs. uonanue ap pearance might have been the beat performance yet. During the public comment portion of the council meeting, person af ter person told Walters they wore embarrassed and angered by his actions on TV. After growing tired of being callod to the carpet. Walters stormed out of thn room railing his detractors "fascists," but only after threatening to vomit in one man's face — the origi nal vorslon of being ralfnd on. For those who have missed out so fur. this is just the warm up The good nows is that Wal ters is running for re-election. The council mootings are showing regularly on the first and third Mondays of every month with public input start ing at 7:30 p.m. The next meet ing is lonighl. admission is free, but you'll have to supply the snacks. I'at MjInch is editor of the Emerald. Free ts. no TEASE. 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