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Vol. 1 Mo. I
Publl.hW by
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The College Experience is...
2. Having your worst haircut and a stupid expression preserved tor 4 years on
your student identification card
2. Trying to register tor classes, followed by waiting torever id the bookstore
checkout line. (Also see "Russian Breadlines' and "Preparing lor the
Unemployment Office ")
3. Memorizing the last possible day to "drop" a class or switch it to
"pass tail “ (Also see "Creatively Preserving Your G PA "and "The
Importance ot Phys Ed '")
4. Placing collect phone calls to Mom and Dad to ask for money and care
packages. (Also see "Sucking Up How to Communicate With Your
Parents ")
5. Strategically visiting every fraternity or sorority "Rush" party on campus
(Also see "How to Eat and Drink lor Free and Be Treated Like Royalty
Until You Pledge1")
6. Accepting the tact that a "D" in Freshman English is comparable to an "A" in
Nuclear Physics (Also see "Intercepting The Mail Before Your Parents Get
Your Grades ”)
7. Identifying new and mysterious dorm food concoctions (Also see "How to
Survive on a Diet ot Starch, Dessert & Chocolate Milk'")
8. Washing whites and colors together in hot water, and stuffing the laundry
machines beyond capacity (Also see "Fashion Statements lor the 90’s ")
9. Dozing off during boring lectures, especially after lunch (Also see
"Deciphering Your Own Handwriting ")
10. Surviving a year with "The Roommate from Hell1' (Also see "I'm O K .
You're Not1")
11. Pulling your first caffeine-induced "all-nighter" while cramming for mid
terms, and "hitting the wall" the next morning
12. Answering final exam essay questions which usually begin, "Compare and
contrast “ (Also see "The Art ot BS Saying a Lot - Saying Nothing1")
13. Meeting someone, going out. breaking up. meeting someone. (Repeat this
sequence for the next 20 years )
14. Sitting out in the freezing ram on a bad blind date at a lopsided football
game, and wondering why' (Re read #13 )
15. Admitting that you really might just be sick enough to almost think about
going to the campus health center Nah1
16. Telling stones about how you spent your "Spring Break " (Also see "Lying to
Impress Your Friends ")
17. Celebrating your 21st birthday, and later asking. "How Did I Get Home Last
Night?’
18. Changing your major 3 times to avoid "taking a language "
19. Graduating, and finally understanding Einstein's "Theory of Relativity"
4 years equals 4 minutes