EDITORIAL
Residents try to lick
Lollipops in protest
Freedom of choice is once again the hot topic in
Eugene. Protesters from both sides of the issue have
taken to the street, picketing outside a building, both in
favor of and opposed to the choices being made by the
women inside. As usual, those opposed denounced
what was happening in the building as the result of so*
cicty's permissiveness and a moral outrage. And as
usual, the pro-choice side declared that a woman has
the right to decide what she will do with her body.
What isn't usual is that the topic of these recent
protests has not been Roe v. Wade, but rather the open
ing of Lollipops, a topless nightclub that caters to the
18-and-over crowd.
Lollipops is located next door to Eugene's home of
"Harmless Visual Stimuli." Jiggles, located at West
11th Avenue and Garfield Street. Lollipops, or Jiggles
Jr. as it may soon come to be known, offers topless
dancing just like Jiggles Sr., but serves no alcohol.
Since opening day, protesters have been out in
force. They claim topless dancing is not "harmless vis
ual stimuli" but rather a form of violence against wom
en. They even cite government reports that "prove"
nude dancing and other forms of sexual entertainment
are directly responsible for crimes against women.
Never mind that the reports were produced by the il
lustrious and completely objective (or is that objection
«ii m.:/ *n;uwui /o w
Helms, that great
advocate of a
woman's right to
choose. Simply
put, they do not
believe that wom
en should huvo
the right to dance
topless.
Meanwhile,
with the other
face, many of the
activists probably
continue to sup
port a woman’s
right to choose an
abortion. After all,
they say. it is her
body and no one.
particularly men,
should be able to tell her what she can and cannot do
with it. Apparently though, it is OK for a woman to tell
another woman what she cannot do with her body.
The dancers argue that what they do is art. and as
any liberal arts student can tell you. art is purely sub
jective. Just ask Robert Maplethorpc. or the members of
Two-Live-Crew. Or perhaps better yet. what about Kar
en Finley, the performance artist who smears her nude
body (breasts exposed) with simulated feces as part of
her act. Some people consider it art. Whatever it is. it
is certainly no more decadent than topless dancing.
And the irony doesn't stop there. Did the protesters
realize that their actions would result in loads of free
publicity for both clubs? Imagine what it would have
cost to purchase air time on all three local broadcast
stations, the Oregonian and the front page of the Regis
ter-Guard. Yet that is exactly what the clubs received
thanks to the people who want to close them down.
And what about freedom of expression? The Ore
gon Supreme Court has ruled that Oregon's constitu
tion protects all forms of speech, even those found to
be obscene. The only time tne state can take an interest
in obscenity is when it affects minors, and minors can
not get into Jiggles Jr.
Eighteen is an age when virtually the entire adult
world becomes open to young adults. They can vote,
enter a contract, register for the draft, fight a war (and
maybe even get killed). Now, for residents of Eugene,
those activities include seeing topless women dance.
Gasp, the horror of it all.
If the schizophrenic crusaders outside Lollipops
and Jiggles want to do something constructive, they
should put their energy and efforts into providing alter
native forms of entertainment.
Topless dancing is as responsible for violence
against women as Ozzy Osbourne's Suicide Solution is
responsible for suicide. Both are easy scapegoats for
those afraid of attacking the underlying causes of the
problems.
BUr.C*f»a*,WVS GOT IT ALL WRONG- I NEKEIY IN THAT putE 'ittKINto TO
PROVE wT It DOES NOT MEET MY HIGH STANDARDS Of FAMILY VALUES...'
OPINION
Family values and other discounts
By Pal Malach
Political campaigns have al
ways boon a linguist's
equivalent of an amuse
ment park. They soom to magi
cally turn tho onglish language
into a now and exciting form of
communication
Fram a president who
doesn't understand tho crucial
role vurbs play in a sentence, to
political consults who toll us
spin is not nocossarily some
thing involved in most carnival
rides, campaigns thrive on a di
alect all their own.
This year's campaign is no
different. And the hands-down
winner for phrase of ihe '92
presidential campaign Is "fami
ly values."
Unforlunatoly, so many of
these political folks have put
different spins on what the
term is supposed to entail, it
has truly lost all meaning (dom
ing from a blue-collar family
with six children, the family
value 1 most remember Is that
(he people who ate the fastest
hud the best chance for seconds
on pork chop night.
After hearing tho number of
times TVs were mentioned by
the Republicans at tholr recent
convention, an understanding
of just what FVs are is an essen
tial part of making an Informed
decision this Novomber.
Sitting at a tablo In front of
the EMU, sharing a bag of na
chos and salsa, students James
Hodge and Hutch Tibbetts said
they weren't quite sure what
tho "family values" talk was all
about.
“I think wo should Just think
about It in torms of human val
ues," Hodge said.
"Then the COP is shot to
hell," Interrupted Tibbots.
Senior Marilyn Mitchell had
o clearer picture. "I think fami
ly values are when there's a
mom and dad in tho family."
University gruduate Christine
While said she believes family
values are about children.
"When mom and dad are
working ail day, and kids don't
see them all day. u lot of times
(hat's necessary," she said.
"But a lot of times it's just lx;
cause success goes with u ca
reer-oriented world, and kids
am forgotten morn."
To graduate student Trish
Lawrence, family values are a
means of support.
"(Family values) moan hang
ing together, whether it's family
or friends, just having people to
go to when you're in trouble.”
To really solve this mystery,
we ll have to go straight to the
horsi?s mouth. Or, in this case,
the jackass After analyzing the
behavior of prominent Republi
cans, I'm beginning to under
stand what family values are to
the GOP.
First of all, lie, lie. lie.
Richard Bond starlet) the ball
rolling with his overly simplis
tic characterization of a com
plex legal opinion written by
Hillury Clinton 10 years ago
The GOP chairman's fictional
interpretation was so ludicrous
it can only accurately bo dc
scribod as an outright lie.
Obviously, Bond was raised
by his Republican family to bo
lieve the truth is inconsequen
tial in the face of getting your
candidate re-elected
Second, never, ever let your
principles and moral beliefs get
in the way of your political am
bitions. George Bush has per
fected this one. Once upon a
time. George was a pro-choice
politician. Then, tn an incrod
ihle bit of personal courage
(and coincidental timing), he
had a moral change of heart
just in time to be included on
Ronald Reagan's anti-abortion
ticket. What luck.
1 nat same year, he had a si
milar change of heart and was
able to ombrace Reagan's eco
nomic plan, the same plan ho
had referred to as "voodoo eco
nomics" months earlior.
Another of my favorite Re
publican family values is the
ability to take credit for other
people's accomplishments and
blame other people for their
own shortcomings. For exam
ple: Tho Eastern Bloc fell, not
bocauso of the heroic efforts of
hundreds of thousands of brave
citizens who finally just said
"NO." the U.S. Republican Par
ty did It. And the suffocating
economy is not tho fault of a
do-nothing administration, it's
thut damn "liberal Congress."
But tho most touching dis
play of family values in recent
times had to be those of Neil
Bush. Neil is my candidate for
Bond was raised by
Ms Republican
family to believe
the truth is
inconsequential in
the face of getting
your candidate re
elected.
Mr. Family Values of the 1990s
First. Noil used his family
name to got appointed to an in
fluential position on the board
of directors of Colorado's failed
Silverado Savings and Loan.
Then, after approving loans
to people who used the money
to invest in his own company,
Noil, in a beautiful gesture of
family selflessness, put his
S400.000-plus home In his
wife’s name.
Cynics might suggest ho did
this because he knew his deal
ings at Silverado wore improp
er. and assets in his wife's
name would bo protected from
confiscation.
Out that’s just a negative spin
typical of the gloom and
doomure. Nell was simply dis
playing those fino values taught
to him by his father, and our
current president.
I hoso samo lamtiy values
that wero taught to Noil are
ever-present in our political
leader today. Bush is the same
president who, along with our
draft-dodging Secretary of De
fense Dick Cheney, shot down
legislation that would have
kept married military couples
with children from serving in
combat zones at the samo time.
And, as Anthony Lewis
wrote in a column for the New
York Times, it was George who
vetoed a hill that would have
required large companies to
give employees unpaid family
and medical leave.
I hope this stroll down Fami
ly Values Lane has been as in
structional for you as it has
boon for me. And this Novem
ber. when punching your presi
dential ballot, remember not to
get suckered by what these po
litical hucksters say. Instead,
look at the family values they
have shown us via their ac
tions.
Pat Malach is editor of the
Emerald.