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Eugene’s funniest people flock to audition
By Meg Dedolph
Emerald Contributor
A group of boys in baseball
caps and Identical black high
lops flex imaginary muscles
while making faces for an invis
ible camera. Ten feel away,
three high school girls pull
item after item from a large
blue gym hag.
Three cushions, a polyester
patchwork quilt, sweatshirts, a
bottle of Hershey's chocolate
syrup and a half-oaten bag of
microwave popcorn ended up
in a heap on the floor ut Valley
Ktver Center.
"Do you know how stupid I
feel?" one girl asked her
friends.
"No. You're not the one sit
ting in the middle of the mall
looking like this," answered
her friend who had piled her
hair Into a floppy ponytail on
top of her head held hy a
purple elastic band and from
her double-pierced ears dan
gled mismatched plastic hoop
earrings
The potential to win SI0.000
for a 30-second television ap
pearance on Anwrlcu’s h'unni
«•*/ JVo/)/e drew a crowd to Vai
Irty Kivur ('.enter on Sunday af
ternoon.
Jason Bourgault, an assistant
producer for the show, said that
between 75 and 100 people
usually come to (apings like the
one held Sunday, not Including
the people who come just to
watch
Eugene was the last stop for
the show, which has traveled
through Oregon filming seg
munis for next season. The
number of segments selected
from Sunday's taping that
would actually appear on the
show depended on "how much
funny stuff we get," said Frank
Frenzel, one of tne organizers
"Between the ads and the
emcee's stuff, we only show
twelve people, and most of
those acts are only 30 seconds
long," Frcn/.ol said
Bourgttult said he planned to
highlight a few pieces, but that
the executive producer would
make the final decision
"Wo just had a cute art," he
said, referring lo a girl and her
younger sister who sang "1‘he
Locomotion" together. ‘"I hat’s
got a good chance,"
Bourguult said the types ol
segments that gel onto the show
‘Everybody laughs at my nose, so I
decided to play a song on It1
— Dianne Holmes
include "little kids telling
joke*, and unusual, creative
things — if you do a banana
Joke and come dressed as u ba
nana, for example "
Fourteen-year-old Monica
Wells left her banana suit at
home Sunday, and chose In
stead to do a chicken imitation
for Dourgault and his crew. She
was filmed twice and by the
second take, was clucking and
squawking, and after some
coaching by Dourgault, strut
ting bock and forth in front of
the camera, bobbing up and
down, and flapping her elbows,
"You could do your chicken
imitation," a woman remarked
to her friend after watching
Wells. "It's gtx>d. but I guess
it's not very funny.”
Wells, who doesn't watch
America's Funniest People,
t ame to the taping after she
heard about it on the radio.
"Amy got mo into It," sho
said, pointing to her friend and
revealing the Inspiration for her
chicken imitation. After Amy
shook her head, Wells added,
"Well, something got me into
chicken."
“I hope I win some money,"
Wells said.
Dianne Holmes, a clerk at the
Springfield Safeway, who
played "God Bless America"
on her nose, said she would
"probably faint," If her segment
appeared on television.
"Everybody laughs at my
nose," Holmes said, "so I de
cider! to play a song on it.” a
skill she first developed after
her daughter was born
Like Wells, friends played a
major part in (Hitting Holmes in
front of the camera. “My
friends encouraged me, and so
did my boyfriend," she said.
Pianist finds
faceless INS
BEND (A I’) I'ianlsi
Dmitri Raiser easily leaves
Russia these days to perform
around the world, but he's
having trouble getting into
the United States
Raiser has been billed to
play Liszt's (aimerto No 1
in li flat on Aug. 7 at the
opening concert of the
Sunriver Music Festival in
central Oregon
But he's groundud in the
former Soviet Union, wait
ing for a li.S visa thul
would have arrived a week,
ago if the Immigration and
Naturalization Service
hadn't lost his paperwork
Uorshunoff has been cell
ing senators, static depart
ment officials, anyone who
might he able to speed
things along, since he can't
reach anybody at the INS.
But he's listened to plenty of
INS recordings.
Council: Records law needs help
(AP) — Kxcoptlona to the
Oregon Publh Records l .aw
are closing public accoss to
flics that the law Intended
I to keep open to overybody,
I critics KHV.
Legislator* have added more than 3(X) excep
tions to the law in the 20 years since il was en
acted. creating tin* need for review, says Rep Jim
Edmunson, D-Eugono.
"It has turned from a solid low into Swiss
cheese." Edmunson said.
Edmunson is among the slate lawmakers who
formed the Public Records Advisory Council to
examine the exemptions.
The council plans to propose bills to the 1993
Legislature that could start plugging some loop
holes, says Secretary of State Phil Rotating, a
Democrat who ( hairs the council.
But he say* the council can only make recom
mendations. and there is nothing to prevent legis
lator* from adding more exemptions — except
public pressure
"This is an effort to stop various parties from
squirreling away exemptions bused on their clout
in the Legislature." Keisling said "The main
hammer we have here is the public spotlight.'
Exceptions to the law vary in significance, from
complaints filed against doctors to license appli
cations to run u tree nursery.
The public records law wus passed by the 1973
Legislature, along with other Wuterguto-era gov
omment reforms. It changed state policy by forc
ing the government to prove that records should
be kept closed.
The law began with u short list of 30 excep
tions. including police investigative files, law
suits and industrial trude socrets.
The list not only has grown to more than 300. it
has been spread throughout the 838 chapters of
state law, rather than stuted in one suction.
It took months for Public Records Advisory
Council staff to look through the thousands pages
of Oregon law to find them.
Many of the exemptions were added because
the media dug hard for stories that embarrassed
state agencies or big companies, says Los Zailz,
publisher of the Kel/ertlmos newspaper in Keizer
and a member of the records council.
"The issue is open government," Zuitz. said.
"The press leads the charge.”
As a former investigative reporter for The Ore
gonian, Znitz won a public records case against
the state Dunking Division in 1983 during his
probe of a collapsed hank.
But tile state agency and banking lobby slipped
an exemption through the Legislature before Zaitz.
could gel the records
in 1989. lawmakers also closed tax records for
hotels and motels after reporters for the Bend Bul
letin wanted to see if a major resort had fullen tie
hind in its tuxes
Fire near Rogue River joins list of Oregon blazes
GRANTS PASS {AIM — A fort's! fire broke
oul Monday outside the (own of Rogue Riv
er, while on the other side of the Cascade
Range crews closed in on a blaze that
burned 3.000 acres on the Wlnuma National
Forest.
Two air tankers, three helicopters, eight
engines and one fire crow attacked the Fast
Fvans Creek fire about 12 miles north of
Rogue River, suid Jeane Sanderson of the
Oregon Department of Forestry.
The fire burned quickly through 300
acres of brush and timber, sending up a col
umn of smoke visible in Grants 1’ass and
Medford. It was moving at a rate of about 1
mph northeast, prompting authorities to
alert residents in the Ward Creek area
There was no immediate evacuation. San
derson said.
Meanwhile, about fto miles oast in Kla
math County, firefighters finished a line
aruund the 3,000-acro Lone Pine fire, which
threatened a rural subdivision before it
came under check.
Fire bosses weren’t ready to (all the fire
formally contained until crews burned out
enough brush and timber along the linns to
bo sure they would hold, said Forest Ser
vice spokeswoman iiartwra Kennedy.
The fire started Sunday afternoon on pri
vate land about nine miles east of
Chiloquin.
It jumped a road and movud quickly
through tindor-dry sage brush and ponder
osa pine on the Wtnema National Forest be
fore firefighters finished a line around
A national team from the Mount Hood
National Forest called in about 1 .(MX) fire
fighters to fight the fire
The blaze was originally headed toward
the Moccasin Hills subdivision, located IS
miles southeast of where it started
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CARE
Continued from Page 1
expanses, represents about $15
from each student's activity for).
The IFC trimmed a planned
resource and referral program
from the budget as well as other
programs that don't directly af
fect the day care program's op
oration, Parrott said
Tho official said those pro
grams might i>e replaced If a
state block grant is approved
this school year. Also, more
services may open as tho task
force considers merging ser
vices with those of Lano (Com
munity College
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