COMMENTARY Putting the bull before the matador By George Andre Fields Below l* the slory of the Grand Matador. It Is meant to illustrate the similarities between animals and humans It is really all I have to say, but the editors of the Lnwruld believe it Is too short to stand on its own us a guest commentary. Commentaries, 1 am told, must bo at least 750 words long Personally, I do not care for people who go on and on about nothing just for the suko of hearing themselves speak Nevertheless, who am I to ar gue about the use of proper procedures Because I play by the rules, I will expand my arti cle by way of tills preface l-'or those of you who want to skip this section of the article, please feel free to do so It is of little importance to my main topic, which is the way Ameri ca treats her African-American sons. It's an important topic, and I will address It presently Because this is my first, and probably last letter or commen tary to the editor, you will have of forgive my intrusion — espe cially if you are one of those people who may be attempting to do two things at once, Ilka reading this and attempting to achieve the perfect tun — dark but not offensively so. Anyway, I should be at the 750 word limit soon Please bear with mo. I guess the clos est I ever came to writing a let ter to the editor was when the L'nwruld run thut blatantly rac ist cartoon about Clarence Thomas I was going to tell the editors how offended I was. but at thu time 1 was too busy with the day-to day activities of law school. I don’t think I will over bo that busy again I mean, wus this the Lmornld or the com mentary? Lot's see, whure are we? Wo should be dose to that magic number now Well, 1 should say in til! seriousness thut the following story is not meant to be disrespectful of Latin Amorican culture. The Grand Matador An Interesting story appeared on tho notwork new* Sunday after a review of the Rodney Kinj; verdict and subsequent killing of more than 50 individ uals, and aftur all the talk about the riots being the worst since Watts Tho announcer warned the viewing audience that what they were about to see was not going to bo pretty. With that, he showed a matador about In stab a bull to arouse Its anger. Tho matador approached, but thu bull's bulk belled Its speed. In a matter of seconds, the bull hod gored tho man through the heart Tho next day. the animal was put to death I hesitate to use this analogy because it castx the black man as a brutish bull However, Ih; catise that Is the general per ception ... The bull’s former address was a nice, green, open field a beautiful, expansive area whore he spent the long days with his family Tho bull laughed and ate what grew un til the matadors came to take him away The bull did not un derstand why they took him from the field. Ho did not un derstand the sport; ho did not understand that the attendance equaled a largo pecuniary re turn In terms of gross receipts. He failed to understand any of that, so thu matadors declared him ignorunt. Tho bullfighters kept him In bondugu, chains, to be exact, for some time Then It came. It was tho day of tho bullfight. Some of the bullfighters jabbed him and pricked him before the bullfight to arouse his onger Then they Introduced hint to the audience, and the audience cheered The crowd roared ut such a magnificent boast. As the bull looked Into the stands, ha finally understood he was going to die. The oilier hull fighters teased him and made him sport for quite some time The audience, comprised of the most respect able men and women tho coun try had to offer, was astonished at the beast's stamina, strength and what appeared to be un usually large genitalia As the bullfighters toyed with tho By GARY LARSON “OK, everyone Just stand back!.. Anyone aaa what happanad here?" b loculi ml bull. the auillmini roared once more. finally. iht* show w.is at an end The matador approached, but the bull * bulk belied its spued Songs of sorrow were sung for the matador, and the history books never hilled to mention how much of a hero the man truly was (.Verge Amiri' Fluid* is u grade.ife of the Unit entity St-hool ol tan You can find stamps & envelopes at the UO Bookstore. TUESDAY s p A G H E T T I ALL YOU CAN EAT EVERY TUES! includes iarta bread 11:30 am to 10pm pizza pfcTe$ ITALIAN KITCHEN 2673 Willamatte 4840996 Calendars Are In! For Academic v92-'93 ^iHHiUHR Open 24 Hours kinko'S the copy center 1265 Willamette St. (503) 344-3555 • fax (503) 344-0870 UO I I CM At ION • INTIAMMAU EARLY REGISTRATION $2.00 OFF June 3rd and 4th, 2:30-4pm \ y f Summer Recreation Classes June 22 • August 13 (8 weeks) Class Dav Ai'itihici^lkmch Aerobic* MW Aerobice/Uonch Aiirobk* UH Aerobic# UH Atfrohtc* MW Aerobic* ^ Circuit Training UH Ah 30-Hpm OurX BSO $1S M S 30 GorX U50 $ IS 4 30 GurPool lib CASH FOR BOOKS Smith Family Bookstores 768 E. 13th Avenue buying monday-friday 9:00-5:00 Saturday 9:00-2:00 525 Willamette Street buying monday-friday 9:00-1:00, 2:00-5:00