Condom parody didn’t
warrant firing en masse
HELP WANTED: Replacements sought for Timern
ber student newspaper staff. People who make jokes
about condoms need not apply. If interested, contact
Viterbo College. La Crosse. Wisconsin.
Halt huh hah. right? Very funny, and sadly, very
true.
Last week. Tt student journalists front this small
private college were unceremoniously dumped on their
koisters The reason7 The stuff ran a parody about using
condoms
Such parodies an- a staple of college newspapers It
allows student journalists the chance to go u little era
j\ After all. m tlie* r 1 •.jI
world, journalisin (.an be
come drv and stale unless
you happen to work for
Spy or Witiunul L.impoon.
I lie opportunities to press
the boundaries ol tnsieiul
journalism don't come
around sets often. and
i olliige newspapers tr<
quentlv take advantage o!
the situation.
It is 11kels liu' \ .terbo
(iotfege newspaper stall
w,rs trying to shook tin*
administration The pa: i*
The parody
seemed harmless
— one Joke
suggested people
wear condoms on
their heads to
ward off the flu.
Hardly the stuff
purges are made
of.
civ sa’ined luiriTuitss otu*. joke jwoplt?
should wear condoms on their heeds to ward off the
flu Murdh !hc stuff purges are made of
The administration didn't take it that way. and
i learly overreacted What n.e done to tin* students was
undeniably wrong.
Yes, it is a private school, and \es. it was well
within its legal rights to fire the journalists. Hut that
isn't the issue Alter the purge. Viterbo College adopted
a new rule, which forbids the student newspaper from
publishing obscenity, or showing disrespect to the
school's Roman Catholic character.
Those .ire pretty broad parameters between which
it multitude of things could be placed What, exactly,
would be considered obscene? Would criticisms of the
Catholic t.lum h be tolerated?
Hear in mind this is no critique of the Catholic
faith. Freedom of religion means people have the right
to choose what they believe in. However, slamming the
door on debate and analysis is not only wrong, but
dangerous. And that is exactly what the Viterbo Col
lege administrators have done.
Without an unencumbered editorial voice, a news
paper is hardly worth its name.
LETTERS POLICY
The Ort'ffon lhttl\ luncruhl will attempt to print all
letters i ontammg comments on topic s of interest to the
I diversity t ommunch
Letters to the editor must lie limited to no more than
.Till words, legible, signed and the identification of the
wider must be verified when the letter is submitted.
i hr v >n I Killy
Emerald
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Bo» «»*•» CM1»C« Ul> SS1 rej 346 4)43
OUS SECONDS SHOW
you HAD $2,000 IN
A BAILED S<L.
/ r TOOK A LOT Of
MACD \MORK 8V 4
LOT Of DEDICATED
PEOPLE.
WE WERE A£lE TO
PRofEcT DSPoSiT
And, or corpse,
A TAXPAYER Bailout.
7AXPAV6P
BAILOUT?
__
here's YouQ cYEck
FOR $2,000.
1
f yEs. vbuft swa&&
I COWES Tt> $2poc.
JO
fii
Can I get the Mercedes in red?
THE FINE
PRINT
BY DON PETERS
Ait ;v m t rks ago ! vvroto u
uilumn defending smnk
er's rights
i hi* response. needless iu
s.iv was not exuetly 111 my f.e
vor In f.u t. tlin letters generally
tnl.i mi- to enjov ihn lust i an
ii ; (illt'il years of my Iifi* I
knew llm (ulumn Mould gener
.in- some response. but outright
hatred w.is not expei toil
HlJlVl'V: ! tllOSl' good people
Mho wen- so worried .ilxmt iny
hi-.ilth i .in miM breathe ,i little
uilii (pun intended) On
1 hursd.i\, I1 oh 1 7 ,it HI p m , I
gave up Mil.iking
Vim !>rlorc the unit smoking
zealots i n victory I havi*
something to s.iy
*1 ou m eten t the re.ison
15; i i I .put I ii -i uu se o! hc.illh
i mu enis Do I h.ive trouble
m ..s.ng ,.p stair-, need oxygen
on the short trips to class, etc?
U in then'
; .put smoking tor p-umly (j
im.'h i.d reasons
L i ■! me r\| :- i! 1 \ < .1 ( n !rge
student. i am on a limited
!■• I get When rent ti.itinn.
It. a -k s m l si e i laneuus hill-.,
hied h'-ri. . 11! and tin- other
n-.-i •-.silii '. ol lift- arr subtrac led
I r - in niv m .ini■ r pavi hci k
then- is hull' loft over fur enter
lainmoiil reasons
SI i. kr U) !! vo lilt* It) its
I ul h-sl 1 tli'i ided i ig.iretles
hain| - r.-d my jetsetting exis
lent - To prove my point here's
,i hi!!i- personal -a i ounting,
lit .1 dow n lnr simplit u\ ne
gating ell.-its of inflation and
other suc h ei onomic terms 1
kno-.\ nothing aimed
I irsi. the c nst .d a p.u s 1
Marlhoru Light Hhk (m> c ig.i
r .-I!(• uf choic o) is mugh I v
SJ Ju l or simplicity s sake,
yy - i I 111 a k i' : I SJ :.
At tt> i days a veur (e\c hiding
. ! j vi s sim-king a pai k i
day ni altl . nst on- SHJ 1 _’fi per
A i Hiding 111 the 1 ‘I'll It}tut
m.tlmti /'/ease Almanac, I be as
erage person m iiu gender
iji■;issigr.iphie group mu expert
lu live to iiu' ripe oh! age of
7) 4 seats. which means I ssill
tie here for about 51! mure
ye.iis Toi.il savings hs .pulling
s m oking a w hopping
s-i j rofi
Thai s a lot of cash
Sow that 1 am 547.705 rich
er. I neoti to det ufe wtial to
spend il on
The homo that tame closest
to matt hing ms financial wind
Kill ssas in the Monday Kt%o.s
It'r-lluurd t lasstfieiis, which tie*
s, rihed the Springfield house
as a tutie. older 2 hetiroom
Imme in a nit e neighborhood
Single garage " Asking price
ss a s $4 4,000
it,it you know with the re
t ession and all, I think I < an
drive 'em down
Hoss ever. I have never been
mueli Iwr houses ( ats now
there's something you can hens
large amounts of cash on
The must expensive car I
could funi m the same classi
fieds SCI lion ss as a UNO Men e
lies till)!. sedan ssltll 10,BOO
miles mi it rhe osvners svanted
Si". 500
Hi-\ uhii wants .1 usi'l i.it
J\. n^ltl' So I t *il Itrti I ).i
\ u! ! tin- Men edes man
.1 e- 1 al H uli : : ms Imp) Hied Mu
tors Ini in Springlield and
asked him who! my S-t2.?05
u . 1_i ^rl me
I-Vn-bee said he could put mt
111 a brand m u lean- bones 140
j 1 Mercedes for only S to.-’iKJ.
leaving met quite a bit left over
for the Alpine CD player, air
1 auditioning and sun roof
I wanted to blow the whole
wad I’ressing further, I found
out I could ytel either a 1992
;iOOl. or .tOU diesel tor a little
more than what I had, but
I-, rehee assured me a deal
c ouId he made
That Mercedes would look
real goexi parked in my drive
ua\ I asked I'eretx-e uhether
In could get me into a '42
itiuh
Sure' he rt• pi it’d "Hut Ills!
we would need a credit re
port "
Credit report Oh wi ll so
imu It lur financing
rho.su arti just two ol the
many things 1 cun alford now
that I've kicked the habit l ot
example, I can buy approxi
mately 4,274 12-packs ol Top
line Xt. golI halls (on sale), or
pay my rent for the next lrt on
\e.irs
I'he opportunities are limit
Suro quitting smoking has
given me a large c hunk ot i ash,
Init it hasn't been easy In fact,
it has been about as much fun
as having my toenails tipped
ont by a rabid goril la
The first lew hours were
eusv but by the time I had
real le d the 70 hour sans smok
ing mark, I was ready to sell my
sister to a bedouin prince for a
single (i.imet unliltered
I relay , up in the l llu-l.iht ol
e was a real joy 1 ull ol ner
vans energy, I had to do some
thing So 1 r leaned out my
desk a move so extraordinary
an- stall iiu-mhets questioned
whether my body has hewn
in over by a space alien with a
IH’iltJH'SN ietlsll
I or s.mitv masons. ! have no!
i)uit smoking cold turkey I’h.it
sort ol tiling is only for maso
chists However, 1 have quit
buying p.ii ks, whu h means the
only t igarettes 1 get comes hum
in ggmg itiem off Irlemis
That source should he drying
up very soon Nothing annoys a
smoker mule than a trying-lo
quit smoker humming from
them
So as the one y\eek anniver
sary upproathes. I have time to
ask just one small favor I! any
ol you should see a slightly
ere/ed. nit oUne-cruving edito
rial editor come toward you,
don’t he alarmed |ust toss him
a cigarette
II you do. I'll leave quietly I
promise
Dull I'vters is a/i ntiUin.il edi
tor tor the tunorald