EDITORIAL
When was it legal
to shoot at people?
Pay attention folks. There’s a new law in town, and
it states that firing a gun in the direction of any person,
structure or car within the range of the weapon is
strictly prohibited.
Excuse our ignorance, but isn't that already illegal7
The law was passed by the U.S. Mouse and .Senate
as a more specific, charge to use in drive-by shootings.
But just how necessary is Senate Bill l> fH? Without
this new law would citizens be able to fire at people,
structures or cars while those objects were within their
weapons range7 This will indeed be news to most law
abiding citizens Think of .ill the lost opportunities
The chance to gun down bad drivers has passed be
tore most people even knew the option was available.
Those pesky legislators are always one step ahead of
the game.
However, this new law will help students trying to
cope with the effects of Measure r> Now students can
use cash they would have spent on bullet proof car
windows to help offset the tuition surcharge the legis
iature wasn't able to find a solution for
ti* uwu **»• J*nf
urn >«V_W*T
NOW WHAT IS
JOHN Si/Nl/NU
UP TO?!...
Even swap: One heart of stone for a little remorse
Il cun !»■ startling sometimes to realize
how much the crowd surrounding vuii
iil« t.ilcs vour own person.il opinions
This realization ( .111 be espec 111 11V sur
prising lo Amern.ins who believe so
strongly in individuality .ind person.d
freedom
A high si bool i hunt ol mine, Kill.in.
seemed to learn this lesson sixinur th.in
the rest of us and in .1 conscious effort to
retain his own free will, lie distanced
himself from hanging out with .1111 par
In ul.ir moti Kthan kept mostly to him
self and always seemed to lie 01 i upled
in thought about some somber question.
When he did enter our conversations, it
was usually to reproach us lor hiring too
quit k to judge and condemn other jieo
pie He had the ability to always find
good things to say about everyone
Kill.in’s unique perspectives set him
apart from the rest of the in-crowds, so
none of us were surprised that when
graduation rolled around and we all
made plans to go off to college, join the
army or become part of the labor force,
Kthan turmsj down a (oh at the local
foundry to, as he put it. go off in seart fi
of the unpardonable sin " None of us
had seen film since
That's why I was shot ked when I got
a phone call from him the other day I
don't know w hy he pit ked me to con
tact, full I got the feeling lie wanted to
test llie waters id the average American
attitude and I was his guinea pig
We awkwardly meandered through
the usual "how and what are you
doin' " questions although he wouldn't
tell me where his spiritual search had
taken him. Right away I noticed a
change in Kthan His voice didn't reflect
the self- assured sense of inner peace
that marked him during high school
The voice on the phono was harsh, im
patient and agitated
Curiosity got the best of me and I
asked him how his
quest had gone He
chuckled slightly
Indore speaking It
was the peculiar
laugh of someone
who is disgusted
THE FINE
PRINT
BY PAT MALACH
witli something, but has long since
( eased to cart?
"I'm still cm tin' trail." In- said 1 |ust
can I guile gr.isp what tin' urn- unpar
donable sin is But, I'm very dose to it
A few inure months ol scare hing
through the filth of humanity should
lead me to the answer "
I told Ethan that I noticed a > hange in
him I heard again his eerie chuckle
over the phone before he launched into
an unexpected tirade
"('•hange' Me" I'm not the one who
has ( hanged I'm still the same It's just
th.it I'yy finally seen what this world is
No one cares Human beings are a can
cor destroying all that is good m this
world
What could I say Obviously Ethan's
journey had soured him on the species
"book at the latest v\ar,' he said ap
parently referring to the war in the gulf.
"And it's not just the war It's every
tiling else There is absolutely no feeling
ol remorse in this country
I cut Ethan off short and asked what
there was to feel remorseful about
I don't know whore you're at Ethan,
but you do know that we won the war
don't you?" I asked "Wo bombed them
for a month and the ground war lasted
less than a week There were fewer than
100 U S combat casualties It was the
biggest rout since Bull Run. What is
there be to lie somber or remorseful
ulxiut' And where the hell are you at
anywav? Do you have TVs or new spa
pers there? You are really out of it.
man
As a country we
failed,'' K t h u n
snapped but k " 1
guess I should've
expected such an
ignorant response
from you No one cm apes the mass stu
polity of lliis society7 is killing 11M),()()()
people something to he i ulebrutod7 How
come in such a Christian-dominated
country there is absolutely no realiza
tion that although the war was short,
and few Americans were killed, it
would only he docent to regret having to
have unleashed such destruc tion There
ought to be pist an inkling of sadness
that the Icest solution w'e could come up
with was to destroy a country to the
point that even the United Nations said
Iraq has been left in ‘apocalyptic condi
tions "
He paused But when I sat in stunned
silenc e saving nothing, he continued on
getting louder and angrier
“Iraqi human beings have suffered so
much A sudistii loader, a long and
bloody vs .1 r with Iran that added nothing
hut griel and economic deprivation to
the country, and now this Americans
should take .it least a moment to ask lot
forgiveness for supporting Hussein for
many years, and then having to make
the entire country suffer because of his
actions
He laughed sadistically
And the bastard that started it all is
still in power
"But does anyone in this country
care No f--kmg way Kveryone here just
wants to party or try and make money
off of the slaughter The only mood here
is one of celebration. People are nothing
hut happy. Hell, there are 90 days worth
of v it lory celebrations for a war that
lasted 45 days You can buy Operation
Dessert Strom commemorative coins,
posters, Norman Schwarzkopf videos.
Victory in the Air videos, and don't for
get the Operation Dessert Storm trading
cards and comic liooks for the kids
"l or those who want to let everyone
know how proud they are of the U S
w.ir machine, there are bumper stic kers,
t-shirts, yellow ribbons and red.white
and blue ribbons. Christ, I'm sure if a
person looked, you could find Opera
tion Dessert Storm toilet paper. 1 c an see
the commercials now 'Operation Des
sert Storm bathroom tissue: It goes in
and wipes out assholes '
bthan finally stopped shouting into
the phone, hut I still couldn't find any
words to calm him He had c aught me
completely off guard He started c huck
Img again When he finished he calmly
spoke
"1 wish a plague would sweep across
the world and kill every last miserable
human being Let the animals have the
planet."
I hat was the last thing he said to me
before- hanging up Although Ethan's
thoughts wore tainted with hatred
caused by a mysterious, deep and per
manent grief, he had made a point about
Americ a s collective repression of what
really took place in Iraq Ethan's search
for the unpardonable sin had changed
him considerably from when I knew
him last And even though he said he
had not yet finished his quest, 1 got the
feeling tfiat he was just one painful, but
releasing realization uway
(With apologies to Nathaniel Haw
thorne.)
I’ui Malach is the managing editor tor
the Emerald.
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