SPORTS
Time comes for some New Year’s resolutions
Ney\ Year's resolutions .ire like defensive strategies
to stop Michael Ionian they look great on paper but
are usually abandoned shortly after being implement
ed.
Being a lowly sports reporter for a daily college
neyvspaper. my personal resolutions about studying
more and sleeping less would only interest my rela
tives and close friends (well, at least my relatives), so I
decided instead to conduct some role playing I have
created a list of resolutions I would make if I entered
1<I<)1 as a famous sports personality
Working harder at your job seems to lie a popular
resolution, and if I found myself in the shoes of Den
ver Nuggets Coach Paul Westhead. I would make it a
priority to coerce my group of misfits to spend a little
less time on offense and a little more on installing
some form of defense.
If giving up Kite 4 points a game isn't reason enough
to work harder at the defensive end. maybe watching
Detroit's Dennis Rodman hit for a career high 14
points should do the trick
If I awoke on Jan. 1 wearing a short sleeve dress
shirt, having no hair and sucking on a towel in a lais
Vegas arena then I. as Jerry Tarkanian. would make a
resolution to call Burger King and offer them my ser
vices.
Couldn't you picture Tark the Shark explaining a re
cruiting violation in a Burger King ad saving. "Some
From the Sidelines
In
KORKKT VV KHKK
limes you pist gotta break the rules' ' At least it would
lie ,i way t«> help Tarkanian. the NCAA's favorite whip
ping hov. recoup some of the money he's going to lose
when the Kunnin' Keitels sit out next year’s basketball
tournament
Being l)nk Vitale wouldn't be easy, but it the job
fell to me. 1 would make a resolution to travel west of
the Kooky Mountains at least oik e to see a college Iras
ketball game and put a face with the names of Terrell
Brandon and tUd.A's Don Mai l.ean Indore somebody
else beat me to it
Sure, the days of Alcindor and Walton leading the
Bruins to national titles every year are gone, hut they
do still play the college game in the western time /one
you just never hear about it
If I were Steve Young ol the soon-to he three-time
defending Super Bowl champion San Fraud.si o -t'ters.
I would resolve to decline free agency and stay pul
Making $! I million a year to signal in plays, sub for
|o« Montana late in blowouts and be the team's tilth
ret fiver sounds like the easy life In me
If I began I he New Year as Syrai use basketliall
(aiai h |iiu Boeluein. and I'm so glad I didn't. I would
make a resolution to resign quit kly and quietly be
sides thi- fact that his program is being accused of nu
merous violations. Hoehiem should realize that if he
can't win the national title with the talent he has had
in recent years he will never win it
People often make resolutions to get out of a dead
end job If I were Terry Bradshaw this resolution
would lie at the top of my list
What does be have to gain by continuing to work in
the studio for (dIS. when he could lie making a name
lor himself as a game analyst like |ohn Madden'-’ Brad
shews understanding of the game and abilit\ to com
munii ale ideas to viewers is rare and to sec him waste
il in a spot made tor people like Irv t’ross and () I
Simpson seems so degrading
If I was Victor kiam. owner of the New Kngland Pa
triots, I would resolve to Irv and make sure my team
makes headlines in the upcoming year for things that
happen on the field during games
The only time the I 1!> Pats made the news this year
w.is when they were lieing investigated by the league,
arrested bv lor al police hiring or firing a head coai li
or living thrashed on a Sundav afternoon Maylie get
ting rut of I tad publicity magnets like Irvin I'rv.ir and
/.eke Mowutt would be a nice first step
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