Change
Continued from I'agr I
Often times we set goals to high and then fail. Set a
goal for each day, thus making the overall goal seem
less ominous. Try —"Today I will eat fruit as a snack
and exercise for 20 minutes,” rather than: "I'm going to
lose weight and stop eating junk food.” It's better to
start with a small, specific goal and overshoot it than to
continually fail. This is a concept called self-efficacy.
Successes and achievements lend one a feeling of ac
complishment. Continual failure is self-defeating and by
starting small and experiencing successes, each
success will bring you up one more on the road to goal
Continual
failure
is
self-defeating.
attainment. Habits take a long time forming and a long
time undoing Be patient and kind to yourself.
After choosing wnai it is you want to change, set a
long term goal. Break the goal into specific behaviors
you can target. Choose a plan of action for each
specific behavior and turn these into daily goals. If you
feel comfortable, let a friend know what you plan to do.
Keep a record of your progress, adjusting and reforming
goals as needed—and most important—expect to
succeed. Don't mull over past failures. This is a new day
and a new goal ... and good luck!
A CONTRACT FOR CHANGE:
When deciding that behavior change is something you’d like to try, it’s a
good idea to systematically work through the forces which enable the be
havior to persist and to set small goals which feed into one large goal. Try
this step by step method for behavior change. It might be helpful to write it
out in contract form complete with your signature at the end.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
Area of concern (target area for Behavior change):
Current baseline behavior (trace the habit of chain behavior, it's context, and how often it
occurs. This sheds some insights into forces enabling the behavior or encouraging it).
Reasons for wanting to change this behavior (personal justification worthy of moving you to
action):
State your desired behavior in a positive, affirming goal statement Don't discuss what you
won't do, discuss what you will do, for example, "I will eat fruits and vegetables for snacks, 4
days a week,” rather than "I will not eat candy."
Five things I will do to achieve this goal These are small steps which move one toward goal
attainment It's easy to set goals and not reach them because no direct action plan is formu
lated.
Make a list of positive forces which will assist you and use these and identify negative forces
which will stop you (for example, days when I over schedule myself, I will miss exercise; so
plan ahead and make time)
Have one witness who will help you. not through antagonism and condescension but through
encouragement and accountability
Set short term check points, such as weekly evaluations, bi-weekly evaluations, etc.
Your signature and your expectation to succeed. Good luck!
O P I NION
—Terri Bricher
Changing our bodies is a consuming and un
questioned task accepted by many women. We
dye and pluck, deodorize and scent, highlight and
paint various parts of ourselves in order to
achieve an appearance deemed acceptable by the
fashion industry and the beer commercials. Our
flesh, too, is subjected to astounding degrees of
penance and torture as we attempt to bounce,
squeeze, starve, slice, enlarge and drug our physi
cal selves into a socially sanctified shape, a
shape that has no relation to individual genetics
or well-being.
The problem, however, is not a woman's thighs,
rounded hips or protruding stomach. Instead,
women must overcome this battle with the flesh
by changing our hatred toward our bodies Wom
en need to make peace with their bodies since re
spect and strength as a sex cannot be achieved
while we are relinquishing our self esteem and
self determinance to the scales, insurance charts,
and media. We deny ourselves the pleasures to be
gained through our whole, powerful, fertile bodies
and instead wage wars against objectified parts.
or "trouble spots,” with the illusion that our so
cial. emotional, or physical lives will be perfect
minus those "extra” pounds or inches.
Changing women’s attitudes toward their bod
ies can only be achieved when we trust ourselves
and our appetites. Without the need to fear our
hunger and emotions, women learn to use food
for its intended purpose—for nourishment. As it
is, because we have been taught to suppress and
deny our appetites, women have lost touch with
their natural desires and have used food to satisfy
"emotional" needs such as anger, loneliness, re
ward, punishment, insecurity and fear. When food
is used for nourishment only, women develop
self-awareness and more effective means of cop
ing with and expressing these emotions. Also,
food used for body fuel is more likely to be health
ful. Binge foods are usually fatty, sugary refined
foods that are denied and subsequently abused.
Women also need to learn to accept their differ
ences and appreciate their own unique talents
and priorities. An individual's health is not deter
mined solely by physical measures. Holistic
health encompasses emotional, social, intellectu
al, spiritual and environmental aspects of an indi
vidual—the parts which make a body a whole be
ing. Consequently, we should allow ourselves to
set priorities according to our own needs and tal
ents. For example, a women with exceptional or
ganizational skills may achieve more satisfaction
and self esteem devoting extra time to leadership
roles than she would pursuing a size 5 body
through a strict diet regime.
If a woman allows herself to eat according to
her natural appetites and to exercise according to
what her own priorities deem to be most satisfy
ing, she will possess a body that is optimal for her
own health. She can claim her flesh as her very
own and avoid the negative and superficial judg
ments of self and others since she knows and
trusts that she is doing what is best and most
healthy for herself. This autonomy ensures self-re
spect and self esteem and fosters an appreciation
of others' successes and differences rather than a
need for competition.
A BOOK...
THF. Will MSS WORKBOOK: This is neat workbook, full of
ideas and thoughts covering the gamut from sexuality, to eating
to emotions and feelings, work and play Taken a chapter at a
time, this book offers insight into living more honestly and au
thentically.
SI RVIYIXG tv EMIXG DISORDER: This book is written both for
those with eating disorders or those with eating disordered loved
ones. The author describe symptoms and signs but most impor
tantly discusses the metaphor food plays, the emotional needs it
fills, and interpersonal dynamics and family relationships which
lead one to turn to food and body image as a way of remedying
deep feelings of worthlessness.
JWE BRODY'S M TRITIOS HOOK: This is an excellent, easy to
read nutrition handbook. Written by the health columnist for the
New York Times, this book is entertaining and full of insight and
ideas to improve eating habits and dispel nutritional myths.
is a friend that teaches us more on our own time at our
own pace. Try out a few of these books, available at Per
alandra, the U of O Bookstore. Mother Kali’s and various
national bookstore chains:
/ U KH .s' kll( III V An excellent cook book and nutrition hand
book which teaches how to cook an array of vegetarian dishes,
and discusses natural cooking, vegetarianism and turning away
from refined, high fat, low fiber foods
rut Kb I \ \ \ TIOS \sn STRESS Ktl)l crios WOK SHOOK: This
work book describes numerous methods of stress management
from relaxation, to irrational thoughts and perceptions, emotional
stress, physical tension, imagery, time management and commu
nication styles. A must for anyone seeking to reduce their stress
and enhance the quality of life.
\U)Mt\‘S REM.ITY: This book discusses the roles in which
women are socialized toward and the implications of these: fear
of independence, co-dependency, lack of faith in oneself and
one's abilities and how to move past this into a more autono
mous. nurturing fulfilling life.
I’m No Good
(and other little mind traps)
by Beth Gaiser
“Man (Woman) is not troubled by
events but by the view he (she)
takes of them." Epictetus
Every day we go, do, see, interact
and experience. And we do ail this
through the filter of our perceptions
It's largely automatic—cruise control
Much of what we think and feel occurs
without much congnizance or aware
ness. It's a strange idea to think about
thoughts or to think about feelings but
during times of emotional stress, it's
important to tap into these "things'’
skittering across our consciousness
Much of self esteem, self-concept,
feelings of effectiveness or ineffective
ness are linked to the evaluative per
ceptions held about oneself These
perceptions are the result of "self talk"
or the continual dialogue going on in
side. Self talk can be nurturing and re
alistic or self-effacing and irrational
Albert Ellis, in his book: A Guide to
Rational living, discusses irrational
ideas Ellis' basic thesis is that emo
tions have little to do with actual
events. In between the event and the
emotion is realistic or unrealistic self
talk It is the self talk which produces
emotions. These emotions can be posi
tive or self defeating
Pam Butler, in her book Talking to
Yourself, describes a similar idea
There are two parts to us: the part of
us (hat is self supportive and encour
aging and the portion of us which is
judgmental and conditional The latter
part, called Self Two" are the
"shoulds " Self Two says: "you should
do this, you should have done that
Self Two is the debilitating, self fulfill
ing prophecy that tells you you're in
competent, incapable, unlikeable, inar
ticulate, disorganized, etc
Self talk —perception —is where
most of emotional stress comes from
And usually the stress has its origins
in self talk which has gone on
unrefuted across numerous experi
ences. Because of this, it's difficult to
believe it might actually be untrue!
Undoing self talk which is stress in
ducing takes time. The first step is to
listen Ellis recommends taking 20 mm
utes a day for two weeks to identify the
trends
Once you identify trends —what
next? Butler talks about how we tend
to beat ourselves with the sticks peo
ple throw at us. This is really a matter
of perfectionism Perfectionism is like
walking a tight rope: either you're bal
anced on it or you fall off —there's no
area between success or failure. It's
black or white: succeed or fail. Perfec
tionism is a sure path to defeat be
cause no person can be 100% to all
things all the time There's a gray
zone" there where improvement re
sides. best efforts, and circumstances
Giving up perfectionism means gaining
a realistic perspective on goals and on
criteria tor attaining those goals
Self talk has much to do with choice
Much of distress comes from tooling
victimized or feeling like events hap
pen to us. There's a choice in many
circumstances tor responsibility How
responsible am I for another's happi
ness or well-being9 How responsible
am I that these things get done9 Have I
taken on too much? Am I overestimat
ing the importance and underestimat
mg my abilities? Somewhere in this
train ot thoughts is co dependency or
the belief that we are responsible for
the outcome of other's experiences
There's a choice then to lot others take
care of themselves and to let us take
care of our own solves Self talk may
be in there screaming "should! should1
should!" But how realistic is that9
Refuting self talk is changing the
tapes playing inside These tapes may
be tuned into the Self Two so routinely
that it is difficult to hear the other
tapes which say "I'm okay " Rarely are
we socialized to commend ourselves
and reaffirm ourselves We sabotage
good feelings expecting the worst But
inherently there's a part of us which
wants to feel good, to be accepted and
to feel effective It takes time to hear
these messages and courage to be
lieve their validity The first step is to
listen to the messages going on, to
scrutinize their accuracy and challenge
their influence
CHANGE
Change wears my sister's moccasins He stays up late and wakes
up early He likes to come up quietly and kiss me on the back ot the
neck when I am at my drawing table He wants to amuse people, and
it hurts him when they yell at him Change is very musical, but
sometimes you must listen tor a long time before you hear the pat
tern in his music.
J Ruth Candler The Book ot
Qualities: Turquoise Mountain
Publications, 1984
CREDIT AVAILABLE
Are you interested in health and enjoy working with people9 Does your
degree program require practicum or internship experience9 It you an
swered yes to both ot these questions, why not become a Peer Health
Advisor? You can gain experience in public speaking, paraprotessional
counseling, writing and research in this two term program Plan tor next
term now by calling 686 4456 or coming by the Health Education Center
in the Student Health Center, M F. 9:30-4. for an application
s
T
A
F
F
EDITOR: Beth Gaiser
LIFESTYLE PLANNING PROGRAM DIRECTOR:
Ellen Ryan
HEALTH EDI CATORS: Laurene Sheilds, Beth Gaiser,
Raymond Boyle, Carmel Crowe, Wendy Loren
LAYOL'T DESIGN: Scott Thorkildson and Beth Gaiser
PRODl C’TION: Sandra Daller, Amy Barth, Alice Cannon,
Jim Finch, Wendy Morris, Ingrid White